“I take it they’re not leaving anytime soon, then?”
“They want to make sure I’m okay. And to do that, they want to come to the label today and meet you.”
“Fine,” he answered immediately, surprising me.
“Seriously?”
“Aye, seriously. I want to meet them too.”
I hesitated . . .”Are you still mad at me?”
“I don’t know. How would you feel if you found out I shared a bed with another woman last night?”
The thought made me want to grind my teeth together. “If that woman was Autumn, then I’d be fine with it. Which is exactly what we’re talking about here and you’ll see that for yourself today.”
He blew out what sounded like a beleaguered breath.
My heart clenched at the thought of him being angry with me, but I was also more than a little annoyed. “You know, it would be nice if you could put your jealousy aside to ask me if I’m okay.” When there was no response, an ache flared in my chest. “Okay then, what time should we meet you?”
“One o’clock should be fine.”
“See you then.”
“Skylar.” He stopped me as I was about to hang up. “I missed you too. I miss you whenever you’re not by my side.”
I closed my eyes as the panic eased but my irritation, and yes, hurt, remained.
At my silence, his voice lowered. “I’m sorry I’m a jealous prick. Are you okay?”
I slumped in relief. “Yes, I’m okay. I’ll be even better when I get you alone. After I’m done kissing every inch of you, we can talk about it.”
“I’m looking forward to it.” I heard the desire in his words. The need. God, I wished he were with me. Unfortunately, I’d have to wait.
“Before then, I’ll see you at the label.”
“See you then.”
I hung up, holding the phone to my chest, wishing that I was able to walk into the label at one o’clock and kiss the surliness right out of Killian O’Dea. Instead I’d have to pretend there was nothing more between us than an album. However, as soon as I got him alone, I was going to rock his world so hard, he’d forget all about being a grumpy pain in my ass.
Thankfully, keeping me from overthinking the last twenty-four hours, Autumn arrived—with coffee—not long after I hung up with Killian. After we’d settled and I told her how my night with the guys went, she shot me an apologetic look.
“I got your text while I was with Killian, so you should know he knows about the guys staying overnight.”
“It’s okay. I got off the phone with him. I know he wasn’t happy about it, but he’ll see when he meets Brandon that there’s absolutely nothing like that between us.”
“I really don’t think it’s Brandon that worries him. You’ve got to understand, Skylar, Killian researched you before he ever had feelings for you. He found article upon article about your romance with Micah. You guys were everywhere.”
That panic returned, as I began to fear that I wouldn’t be able to make Killian understand that I no longer was in love with Micah. “Those days are long gone. When I look at Micah now, I don’t feel any of what I used to feel. All that’s left is history, affection, and frustration that he’ll always see the world from his point of view and no one else’s.”
“Maybe today will help, then. Killian can see you interact.”
I nodded, hoping she was right. Then I studied my friend and how her perfect makeup was unable to hide the dark circles under her eyes. “You know, all we do lately is talk about me. I know I have a lot of crap going on, but that doesn’t mean I get to let you off the hook. What’s going on with you?”
Autumn threw me a tired smile. “Nothing.”
“I don’t believe that for a second.” I had a sudden horrible thought. “Shit. Darren hasn’t been bothering you, has he? You would have told us?”
She shook her head. “No, Darren is long gone.”
“Then what is it? Someone new?”
“Ugh, God no.” Autumn looked even more exhausted by the thought. “The last thing I need is to get into another relationship right now.”
“Then what is going on with you, Autumn? You mentioned something that’s been bothering me. I didn’t want to push about it because I didn’t think it was my place, but you’re my friend and I think it is my place. You said a while ago that you felt like you were lost.”
She grimaced. “You have so much more to deal with than me right now. We’re not talking about this.”
Worry suffused me. “We are talking about this. I’m officially concerned. What’s going on?”
“I’m just floundering. I feel like I have no purpose. Like I’m useless.”
“You are not useless. Don’t ever say that.”
“But what am I doing with my life? I occasionally run errands for Killian but other than that, I spend my days shopping and socializing. How dumb is that?”
“Hey,” I shook my finger at her, teasing, “there are socialites with over a hundred million Instagram followers. Those millions of followers don’t think they’re dumb.”
“Well, I do,” Autumn huffed. “Pot meet kettle.”
“Then what do you want to do about it?”
“That’s the thing. I don’t even know.”
We sat in contemplation while I processed her concerns and tried to figure out the most helpful response. The one that came to mind was the one that would piss Killian off the most, but in this instance, I had to put his sister before our relationship. “Maybe you should get away for a while.”
“Away?”
“Yeah. Go somewhere different. Somewhere you can think about you and what you want.”
“Is that what you did?”
“I ran away. There’s a difference. But if you want to put a less cowardly spin on what I did . . . let’s say I did take off to get some perspective. And it worked. I’m not telling you to run away. I’m telling you that going somewhere, traveling, getting some distance from this city and your life here, might give you some much-needed perspective.”
Autumn stared at me as if she were having a lightbulb moment. “Get away to find myself. That . . . I think you’re right.” She grinned suddenly. “My friend Catie invited me to this ski resort in Montana next January. I said no because the thought of skiing again after I broke my leg last time scares the crap out of me. But maybe that’s what I need. To face my fears. And Montana is supposed to be beautiful.”
A wave of nostalgia hit me. “It is. I’m from Montana.”
Concern crossed her expression at whatever she saw in mine. “I forgot. Do you . . . do you miss it?”
I shook my head. “It’s a total cliché but I guess there really are truths in clichés: home is where the heart is. There’s nothing left of my heart there. Only memories. So . . . where in Montana?”
“Um, I can’t remember. Some mountain ski resort. Whiterock . . . or White-something. I’ll find out.”
“It sounds like a plan.”
She beamed at me. “I feel better already. Thank you.”
I grinned and then immediately grimaced. “Just don’t tell your brother it was my idea.”
WE STOOD IN THE OPEN-PLAN office section of Skyscraper Records, me nervously watching Micah and Brandon as they looked around, taking everything in. Mirroring my complicated, stormy feelings, rain lashed against the windows, the dark clouds outside making the aluminum lighting in the office a glaring, harsher yellow.
I wanted the guys to be okay with what I was doing here.
Which was hilarious because I still wasn’t one hundred percent sure I was okay with what we were doing here. Not the album. I was proud of the album.
Annoyed that we’d been waiting ten minutes and Killian still hadn’t deigned to show up, I shot Justin at reception an impatient look. He grimaced. “Eve said he’s on a conference call. He’ll be out as soon as he’s done.”
I nodded and turned to Brandon. “What are you thinking?”
“Not a lot to think about right now.” He glanced at the framed posters by the elevator. “They’ve signed some pretty fucking great artists lately though.”
“Agreed.” Micah’s reluctance to admit that was obvious in the way he tucked in the corner of his mouth.