We walked to within three meters of the Lord of the Radch, and Seivarden knelt, and then prostrated herself. I was, supposedly, not Radchaai, not subject to Anaander Mianaai. But Anaander Mianaai knew, she had to know, who I really was. She had not summoned us this way without knowing. Still, I didn’t kneel, or even bow. Neither Mianaai betrayed any surprise or indignation at this.
“Citizen Seivarden Vendaai,” said the Mianaai on the right. “What exactly do you think you’re playing at?”
Seivarden’s shoulders twitched, as though, facedown on the floor, she had momentarily wanted to cross her arms.
The Mianaai on the left said, “Justice of Toren’s behavior has been alarming and perplexing enough, just on its own. Entering the temple and defiling the offerings! Whatever could you have meant by it? What am I to say to the priests?”
The gun still lay against my side, under my jacket, unremarked. I was an ancillary. Ancillaries were notorious for their expressionless faces. I could easily keep from smiling.
“If my lord pleases,” said Seivarden into the pause that followed Anaander Mianaai’s words. Her voice was slightly breathy, and I thought maybe she was hyperventilating slightly. “Wh… I don’t…”
The Mianaai on the right let out a sardonic ha. “Citizen Seivarden is surprised, and doesn’t understand me,” that Mianaai continued. “And you, Justice of Toren. You intended to deceive me. Why?”
“When I first suspected who you were,” said the Mianaai on the left before I could answer, “I almost didn’t believe it. Another long-lost omen fetching up at my feet. I watched you, to see what you would do, to try to understand what you were intending by your rather extraordinary behavior.”
If I had been human, I would have laughed. Two Mianaais before me. Neither trusted the other to hold this interview unsupervised, unobstructed. Neither knew the details of the destruction of Justice of Toren, each no doubt suspected the other’s involvement. I might be an instrument of either, neither trusting the other. Which was which?
The Mianaai on the right said, “You’ve done a fairly decent job concealing your origin. It was Inspector Adjunct Ceit who first made me suspect.” I haven’t heard that song since I was a child, she’d said. That song, that had obviously come from Shis’urna. “I admit it took me an entire day to piece everything together, and even then I could hardly believe it. You hid your implants reasonably well. Station was completely deceived. But the humming would likely have given you away eventually, I imagine. Are you aware you do it almost constantly? I suspect you’re making an effort not to do it now. Which I do appreciate.”
Still facedown on the floor, Seivarden said, in a small voice, “Breq?”
“Not Breq,” said the Mianaai on the left. “Justice of Toren.”
“Justice of Toren One Esk,” I corrected, dropping all pretense of a Gerentate accent, or human expression. I was done pretending. It was terrifying, because I knew I couldn’t live long past this, but also, oddly, a relief. A weight gone.
The right-hand Mianaai gestured the obviousness of my statement. “Justice of Toren is destroyed,” I said. Both Mianaais seemed to stop breathing. Stared at me. Again I might have laughed, if I were capable of it.
“Begging my lord’s indulgence,” said Seivarden from the floor, voice tentative. “Surely there’s some mistake. Breq is human. She can’t possibly be Justice of Toren One Esk. I served in Justice of Toren’s Esk decade. No Justice of Toren medic would give One Esk a body with a voice like Breq’s. Not unless she wanted to seriously annoy the Esk lieutenants.”
Silence, thick and heavy, for three seconds.
“She thinks I’m Special Missions,” I said, breaking that silence. “I never told her I was. I never told her I was anything, except Breq from the Gerentate, and she never believed that. I wanted to leave her where I found her, but I couldn’t and I don’t know why. She was never one of my favorites.” I knew that sounded insane. A particular sort of insane, an AI insanity. I didn’t care. “She doesn’t have anything to do with this.”
The right-hand Mianaai lifted an eyebrow. “Then why is she here?”
“No one could ignore her arrival here. Since I arrived with her, no one could ignore or conceal mine. And you already know why I couldn’t just come straight to you.”
The slight twitch of a frown on the right-hand Mianaai.
“Citizen Seivarden Vendaai,” said the Mianaai on the left, “it is now clear to me that Justice of Toren deceived you. You didn’t know what it was. It would be best, I think, if you left now. Without, of course, speaking of this to anyone else.”
“No?” breathed Seivarden into the floor, as though she were asking a question. Or as though she was surprised to hear the word come out of her mouth. “No,” she said again, more certainly. “There’s a mistake somewhere. Breq jumped off a bridge for me.”
My hip hurt, thinking of it. “No sane human being would have done that.”