Chapter 35
It wasn’t shock that hit me like a sucker punch to the gut over this revelation, but more of a sick, sinking sensation that left me cold and shaky. Part of me had already suspected the truth, but my rational mind hadn’t wanted to give it any conscious thought.
Seth wasn’t a fallen angel who’d been in Trinity for years and years while losing his mind to the point that he was stuck on the streets with no home to call his own.
He was Nathan, an exiled demon who allegedly controlled the Hollow and had vengeance as his number-one priority.
My father.
I was having a serious Luke Skywalker moment.
“He’s your father?” Jordan’s words dripped with disbelief. “Seriously?”
All I could do was stare at him—and I tried to use what little clearheadedness I had left to read his mind when he met my gaze directly.
I could read the minds of angels and demons; I’d done it before.
I could find the real truth beyond his twisting words before it was too late. Although, I honestly didn’t know how much more truth I could handle and still remain vertical.
His brown eyes, not quite the same shade as mine—but now that I was looking, pretty darn close—weren’t giving away any secrets. His walls were up and they were as thick as the concrete we currently stood on. It would take a long time to break through.
“So, I brought her to you like you asked me to,” Roth said tightly. “Time for your side of the bargain.”
“You bargained with him?” I asked, my voice quiet.
“I sure did.” Roth didn’t sound the least bit ashamed.
“For what?”
There was a pause before he answered. “For Cassandra.”
I couldn’t help but tear my gaze off the man standing before me to look at the other demon. He tried to hide it but I saw it, that bottomless grief in his dark eyes.
My throat was thick. “Cassandra’s dead.”
He shook his head. “No, she’s not. She was hurt, but she wasn’t dead yet.”
“The Hollow wouldn’t have taken her if she wasn’t a split second from death.”
“But now I know who controls it and can give her back.”
Right. That would be Nathan. “If he promised you that, he was lying. Cassandra’s gone. I wish it was different, too, Roth, but it’s the truth.”
Jordan had gone very quiet, standing off to my left. I wasn’t sure if she’d started trembling due to the temperature or from the subject matter. Likely both.
“Roth, you have served me well tonight,” Nathan said. It was time I stopped thinking of him as Seth, a name I associated with an angel I’d wanted to help. “You will be well rewarded when the time comes.”
“I don’t want any damn reward. All I want is Cassandra returned here like you promised.” His brows drew together. “Is Samantha right? Were you lying to me? Is she...dead? Forever?”
Nathan took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. He didn’t reply to Roth; instead, he directed his attention toward me again. “It’s difficult, being a demon who was once human. There are certain requirements for the job, very few all that pleasant. You know, I’m sure, all about the balance that must be maintained, don’t you, Samantha?”
“It’s all about balance,” I replied.
“So bloody important, this balance. What do they think will happen if something disturbs it? Will the whole universe implode?” Nathan’s lips curled under his beard into a very unpleasant smile. “No. Not the whole universe. Only Heaven and Hell. They believe they are timeless and immortal, but they’re dependent on souls. My sister messed that up—or at least, they saw her as a threat. My kid sister, a threat to Heaven and Hell. They think the same about nexi, Samantha, never doubt it. For two vastly different places, they have many similar goals. Keep the balance, follow the rules, toss out those who don’t toe the line. Destroy those who are a threat or make them too crazy to try to seek revenge.”
“And that’s what you’re doing. Seeking revenge.”
“They did this to me.” His jaw clenched and again he grimaced as if a tremor of unbearable pain rippled through him. The branching lines extended farther like vines traveling over his hands and up his neck to trace his jawline. “And they will feel my wrath like nothing they’ve ever known before.”
I swear, I felt a rumbling beneath my feet like a small earthquake.
Jordan’s gaze darted around as she tried to steady herself on what should have been solid ground. “What was that?”
The image of the city being sucked into the dark vortex made a chill race down my spine. This was the place. This parking lot. This is where the vortex appeared and took everything with it, leaving nothing behind.
Just how powerful was this demon?
“If that’s so, why haven’t you done it already?” I asked, swallowing my fear. “It’s been seventeen years since Anna was killed. Why have you waited this long for revenge?”
His expression tightened at the mention of her name. “You know about Anna.”
“Natalie told me a lot.”
“Of course she did.” His jaw clenched. “Natalie loved to talk. Seventeen years of endless talk. I was glad to finally be rid of her.”
Roth glared at the demon. “You made me a deal. Are you reneging on it?”
Nathan hissed out a breath. “Being burdened with a soul is not an easy thing. Sometimes the madness grips me when I stay here too long. It can’t be helped. If I don’t return to the Hollow right away, I have found other ways to cope.”
He reached out and gripped Roth’s throat.
The demon gasped. “What are you doing?”
Nathan’s eyes glowed red. “Coping.”
Roth dropped to his knees as if the strength had left him in a rush. And I could feel it like a tingling sensation on the surface of my skin—his energy. Nathan was stealing his life energy.
I grabbed Nathan’s arm. “Don’t kill him!”
“If I was trying to kill him, it wouldn’t take this long.” He released the demon who collapsed all the way to the pavement. “Trust me, beautiful star. I have full control over this power. And I have no doubt, you do, too.”
Roth’s chest heaved as Nathan loomed over him.
“The angel is lost to you. Forget her and move on. Trust me, boy, obsession of this kind will only destroy you.”
A moment later, Roth’s eyes closed and he slumped to his side, unconscious.
A cry of fear escaped Jordan’s throat and she stumbled back a few more steps.
Nathan’s gaze tracked to her. “You...you’re the one who has always given Samantha difficulties. Called her names, treated her poorly. Do you want to kill her, Samantha? I can show you how. It will be quick and painless. Or just the opposite—your choice.”
“What?” Jordan yelped. “No, no, not a good idea. I mean, I’ve said some stuff, but so has she. And it’s different now. We have, like, an understanding. We’ve been through a lot together. That means something, right, Samantha?”
Nathan laughed at this, a dry sound still edged in madness, despite his recent meal.
“I don’t want to kill Jordan,” I said evenly. “Just because I’ve had some problems with her in the past, doesn’t mean I want her to die.”
“Very well. Then she’ll be spared.”
But if my vision was right—and if it was something that would happen tonight—no one would be spared.
“What do you want from me?” I asked. “Enough of the small talk, tell me the truth. You wanted Roth to bring me here to talk to you. Whatever’s happening to you right now seems—” I swept a gaze over his scary, branching lines “—severe. So tell me why I’m here. Why now? And why me?”
He was silent for a moment, his hands fisted at his sides. “I need your help.”
“My help?” I shook my head, sickened by what he could be suggesting. “To do what? To help you destroy Heaven and Hell? This world? All out of your need to avenge Anna’s death? Is it really as hard for you now as it was then to accept that she’s gone?”
A tremor went through him, and again I felt its echo beneath my feet.
Nathan didn’t turn away, didn’t convulse with whatever pain he was experiencing. He just watched me as if curious. The insanity that had been growing in his eyes a minute ago had dissipated, thanks to his light snack on Roth’s energy. I spared a quick glance at the demon who was still unconscious nearby. Jordan stood next to his still form, wringing her hands.
I wanted her to run. But I had a funny feeling she wouldn’t get very far.
“Can I tell you something important about yourself, Samantha?” Nathan asked. “Something that is vital for you to know, to believe and to accept?”
“I already know a bunch, no thanks to you.” I inhaled slowly, trying to stay calm. Or as calm as I possibly could. “I’m a nexus. Demon father, angel mother. I can see things others can’t—things that have to do with the supernatural. I can read the minds of the team members if they don’t try to fight me too hard. I could see the searchlights that helped find the lost demons and angels sent to this city on this mission.”
I can zap you really hard if you come close to me and I might be able to knock you out, too.
And I have a special dagger strapped to my thigh that an angel gave me to help protect myself when needed.
I didn’t share these facts, of course. I had to keep a couple surprises at the ready. I had a very strong feeling I would need them before the night was over.
“What else?” he asked.
“Now that I’m free from having the symptoms of a gray, I can absorb energy. From one hunger to another. I guess I have you to thank for that, too, right?”
This made him smile, but it wasn’t an expression filled with joy. “Right. And that is key to what I need tonight from you, beautiful star.”
“Why do you call me that? You’ve called me that since the beginning.”
Nathan looked up at the velvet-black sky dotted with bright stars. “Stars once were navigation points. Still are for those who know how read such things. For me, finding you was like finding my way again. I had worried that all was lost. And yet, there you were. Like magic.”
“Actually, I’ve been here in Trinity since I was born. Anna dropped me off at a local adoption agency. Never left this city for seventeen years, so don’t try to act all surprised I’m here.” I snorted. “And don’t try to convince me that you’re my dear old dad who finally wants to connect. Maybe see a movie on the weekends? You want to convince me you care about my future and that when you look at me you see Anna and how much you loved her?”
I expected my words to affect him, maybe reach down under those dirty clothes and grab hold of whatever heart he still had left. Instead, he regarded me with a wry smile.
“Psychology. And I thought you were only a high school student.”
I swallowed hard. “I need answers, Nathan. You said you wanted to tell me something important about myself, right? What is it that I don’t already know?”
His gaze turned thoughtful as he swept his brown eyes over the length of me until they returned to my face. “That you shouldn’t exist.”
My breath caught. That was actually the last thing I expected him to say. “What?”
“Throughout history, nexi have always been destroyed by Heaven and Hell on the rare occasion they are created either through a forbidden romance or through...darker means.” He didn’t go into detail about what “darker means” meant, which was a relief. “You are something that is so unnatural and wrong that the fact you’ve managed to live this long is a genuine surprise to me.”
Every word worked its way under my skin, each as painful as a sharp sliver.
Unnatural. Wrong. Shouldn’t exist.
I half expected Jordan to add a well-placed quip agreeing with him, that I’m a freak of nature. She remained silent.
“When I look at you, I don’t see Anna. Frankly, I don’t want to see Anna. She’s gone. A long time ago. It’s given me plenty of opportunity to reflect over what I was willing to give up for her. It was our relationship that exiled me. The pain I’ve felt since then is entirely her fault.”
If there was one thing I believed since I learned the truth about my origins, it was that Nathan and Anna had been deeply in love. To me, their love was epic and immortal, surviving even after tragedy and death.
Who knew I was such a romantic?
It was an unexpected blow to my spirit to know it wasn’t like that at all.
“You blame her?” I asked quietly.
“I did for a time. I’ve since come to realize that there is only Heaven and Hell to blame—for everything. I will destroy them, Samantha. But first I will take their little world filled with souls. The Hollow will rise up and swallow all of this so I will control those souls. I will control all the mortals that walk this world...instead, they will walk mine. And I will be able to watch as Heaven and Hell begin to fight in earnest against each other for survival.”
“Why would you do that if you don’t care about Anna anymore, enough to get vengeance for her death? What’s the point?”
Again, he stroked his beard thoughtfully. “There are those who create and those who destroy. Chaos doesn’t need a reason to exist.”
I saw it then all too clearly. His insanity went far deeper than the surface and couldn’t be fixed by absorbing Roth’s—or anyone’s—life energy. And it wasn’t only because of his soul. The Hollow’s supernatural junkyard of dark energy had changed him over the years, bleeding his sanity—his love for Anna—away drop by drop until there was nothing left to salvage.
I cast another glance at Jordan and our eyes met. I saw the same realization on her face that I felt inside myself.
We were in very deep trouble.
But I already knew that.
I returned my attention to my birth father. “If I’m so unworthy of breathing, what do you need me for?”
His dark brows drew together. “I never said you were unworthy to me. Just to them you are. They would kill you in a heartbeat and they would use you for their own gain—as they already have.”
“And you don’t want to use me?”
This earned the shadow of a grin. “Touché. The truth is, I need what you and I share. That hunger that has awoken inside you. It’s powerful, that hunger. Some might call it an anomaly, but it’s an asset. It’s not like what you felt before with the need to devour souls. This serves you...and it can serve me.”
My stomach convulsed at what he was suggesting. “I’m not helping you destroy the world.”
“Of course not. I know you wouldn’t agree to such a thing. Not now, anyway.” He grimaced again and the lines moved all the way down his hands to his fingertips. He looked at them grimly. “Seventeen years of absorbing the energy of the Hollow—the energy of each discarded demon or angel who found his or her way into its belly. I took as much of it as I could get. It wasn’t until it was too late that I realized it was too much.”
“What do you mean, too much?”
“The energy is overwhelming me. I need to release it so I can gather my strength again. Otherwise, it will break me into pieces.” A glimmer of knowledge came over his expression and, if I wasn’t mistaken, an edge of fear.
“Sorry, Dad.” I said it as harshly as I could, despite quaking inside. “But you being destroyed before you put your nasty plan into action? Doesn’t sound like a tragedy to me.”
He laughed at this, a sharp crack of a sound. “No, I’m sure you’d think that, given all evidence to the contrary. But you’re wrong. Those pieces of me will each become a Hollow of its own. Countless hungry mouths seeking energy with no conscious being controlling it. I might relish chaos and the destruction of my enemies, but not at the risk of my own existence. I want to be the one to destroy Heaven and Hell. Me alone.”
Could it be that the power inside Nathan was ready to shatter tonight and that one of those pieces was what destroyed Trinity as it did in my vision?
No one to control it. No one to stop, because there was no one to stop.
My throat tightened, as if gripped by an invisible hand as I stared with fear at the man I’d always thought harmless from the moment I met him. Harmless and in need of help. I’d been only half right. “You want me to take some of that power away with a touch because I’m the only one who can. Take it into myself—that poison you’re dealing with right now that’s causing you so much pain.”
“From what I’ve seen of you, beautiful star, you have a need to help others. Even though they would turn their backs on you, abuse you, use you and underappreciate you. You want to help them. You want to save them.” His jaw, covered in those strange black lines, tightened. “This is the only way you can.”
Jordan continued to look on in shock, following this conversation as if fascinated and horrified by everything said.
That made two of us.
What Nathan was asking settled over me like a rancid, moldy blanket. “You’re asking me to sacrifice myself tonight to save this city.”
He shook his head. “No, not sacrifice your life—that would require taking all of my power. I’m the only one capable of using that power to destroy. You’re too young, too fragile to handle that. It would kill you.”
“Sam, no...” Jordan whispered.
“You don’t belong here, beautiful star,” Nathan continued. “Not here. You’re not one of them and you never have been. Taking part of my energy to relieve the pressure on me temporarily will not kill you, but it will change you into what you were always meant to be. You will become a permanent part of the Hollow, just as I am. And if you refuse, everything in the world will suffer and there’s not even anything I can do to stop it. It’s as simple as that.”
“Simple.” I swallowed. “You think any of this is simple?”
“It is to me. I see the truth. Even your adoptive family rejects you. Nobody cares about you at school. Even the girl who stands here shivering before us both hates you and has caused you only pain.”
“He’s wrong, you know,” Jordan spoke up, her voice strained but steady. “I don’t hate you. I actually like you. I think you’re all kinds of strange and make stupid decisions nearly every day, but I like you. Normally I wouldn’t admit this out loud, but I feel like the situation sort of calls for it.”
I turned to her with surprise, my eyes stinging. But before I could say anything, the demon surged forward until he was right in front of her.
“If I wanted your opinion, I’d ask.” Nathan backhanded her and she went flying through the air and slammed down against the pavement fifteen feet away.
It had happened so fast, all I could do was look at him in shock and fury.
Out of the darkness, another figure now approached. Fast. It was Stephen, a furious expression on his face.
“I’m going to kill you for that,” he snarled.
Nathan sighed. “More teenage romantic drama. Never ends well, boy. Consider this a lesson for you.”
As Stephen’s fist was about to make contact with Nathan’s jaw, the demon grabbed it, twisting. I heard Stephen’s wrist break and he gasped in pain.
Nathan held on tight and Stephen made a wheezing sound, as if he couldn’t get any air into his lungs. The demon was feeding on more life energy, draining Stephen of his life right before my eyes.
“Stop it,” I yelled. “Stop it now! If you want me to help you, don’t do this!”
Nathan let go of Stephen and the gray crumpled to the ground, unconscious.
I stood there facing my demonic birth father with three unconscious bodies surrounding us as if this was a battlefield.
“You’ll help me?” he asked.
I’d quickly found myself cornered with no chance to run, no opportunity for escape. Natalie may have lied shamelessly to me in order to attempt to get me to do what she wanted. But with Nathan—I had no doubt he’d been telling the truth.
Unless I took away some of the energy that was currently trying to shatter him into countless pieces and which would then destroy everything in their paths, everyone and everything was doomed.
This definitely wasn’t a multiple-choice quiz with the possibility of full marks.
“I’ll help you,” I said finally, my chest tight. “But I need you to do something for me first.”
“What?”
“Bring Carly back.”
“Your little blonde friend.”
“She was taken still alive. And I know you can release people like that. You did it for Natalie. Do it for Carly, too.”
He cocked his head. “Always trying to help others. You must get that from your mother’s genes.”
Nathan’s eyes began to glow red and a moment later, the Hollow opened up behind him. Just like that. One moment there was nothing there, the next, a swirling black vortex, eight feet in diameter, hung in the air. The sound was as thunderous and ear-splitting as always.
The vortex disappeared a moment later, but there was someone left standing in its place with her back to us. Someone very familiar.
It was Carly.
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