Chapter 32
“Let go of him!” Jordan tried wrenching me away from the angel, but failed. “God, you’re like a total monster, aren’t you? Forget a hobbit, you’re a...like a...oh, I don’t know. Some monster thing. You’re the movie geek, not me!”
Finally, I let her pull me away and I gasped for breath. Connor fell to his knees, bracing himself against the floor. He looked up at me wearily and grimly.
“I take it you got that little talent from your birth father. Angels don’t usually have anomalies like that to pass along.”
I reeled from what I’d done, staggering backward.
“I’m sorry.” I swallowed hard, clasping my hands together to stop them from trembling. “Did I hurt you?”
“I’ll recover. You didn’t drain me too much.”
I rubbed my fists hard into my eyes as my control returned. “My father was a demon who had an anomaly when he was converted from human. Natalie’s was that she hungered for souls, that’s what made her the Source of the grays when she came back here and started kissing people and infecting them with her problem. My father, though...Natalie told me that he could absorb life energy.”
“Sounds like a fun guy,” Jordan said shakily.
My stomach churned. “This can’t be happening. I—I already had one hunger to deal with. Now the moment I get rid of that I’ve suddenly developed this little addiction to supernatural energy?”
“How do you know it’s supernatural energy?” Jordan asked.
I looked at her. “I didn’t feel this way with Colin today at school. Or with you. Only with Connor so far. He’s supernatural. You just have some psychic stuff going on, but you’re still human.”
“Sounds like a good bet it’s supernatural only, then,” Connor said. “Hooray?”
Jordan helped Connor to his feet, scowling at the both of us. “Okay, angel-guy. Monster-girl told you her little wacko confession from hell. Your turn. What do you know that can help us? What have you been hiding?”
She’d kept up nicely with tonight’s program. I couldn’t help but be impressed that she hadn’t run away from here screaming after everything she’d learned.
“Fine, I’ll share.” Connor scrubbed a hand over the top of his scalp, then eyed both of us cautiously. “I knew when I came here that something was messed up with the Hollow. Like, seriously messed up. That’s the main reason they sent me as an unexpected addition to the team. Heaven knew the Hollow had a leak into Trinity by then, and that was the link to the gray problem. They also knew it was being caused purposefully by someone with an agenda. The leaky part of the Hollow is trapped here, just like the grays are—like we are. The barrier keeps it from opening up anywhere else.”
I took this in. “So what was your mission?”
“To check it out. To observe. To see if I could figure out if Heaven was right about who’s in control of something that isn’t supposed to have a controller. The Hollow isn’t supposed to be a place you visit and then jump back out. It’s a one-way ticket.”
Connor also knew that it was a somebody controlling the Hollow. It helped confirm what I already knew. “It’s supposed to be Heaven and Hell’s garbage disposal.”
“Essentially. But it’s not that anymore.”
“Since when?”
“Since about seventeen years ago.”
My breath caught. “Seventeen years...”
That was when Natalie and my father—and my mother—were sent into it.
“Nobody knows you exist, Sam.” Connor paced back and forth, looking at me as if I was a ghost standing right here in front of him. “Nobody knows a child came out of that relationship, only a whole heap of trouble. But you know what? It explains a whole hell of a lot to me.”
“They killed my mother because she loved him.” My words were quiet, but they were fueled by the outrage I’d felt about this since first hearing the story. “They killed her with a dagger like Bishop’s and tossed her into the Hollow like garbage. My father followed because he loved her and couldn’t live without her—just like Roth nearly followed Cassandra if you all hadn’t stopped him.”
His brows rose. “That’s some fairy tale.”
“Heaven was responsible for murdering my mother. All because she loved somebody she wasn’t supposed to.” Tears streaked down my cheeks. “How’s that for fair? How’s that for keeping the balance?”
“Who told you this?” he asked softly.
“What difference does it make?”
“A big one, actually. Because whoever told you this didn’t have their facts straight—or they were straight-up lying to you.” There wasn’t an ounce of humor on Connor’s face as he regarded me. “I was there, Sam. That night when everything went down seventeen years ago. I was part of that team, too.”
I couldn’t breathe. “You were?”
He nodded. “Damn—now, looking at you, I should have known from the moment I saw you. You look a lot like your mom, but you got your coloring from your dad. He had dark hair, brown eyes. Good-looking guy. Crazy as a loon, but good-looking.”
“Crazy?”
“He was exiled from Hell. That was his punishment for falling for an angel—no pun intended. You think we kill those who break a rule like that without thinking twice? Way harsh. Exiling takes care of any universal balance issues, especially when there is a list of previous offenses to go along with it. Nathan’s tendency for draining other supernaturals of their life energy, that handy little talent you seem to have inherited—although I was told he could do it with humans, too—wasn’t welcomed with open arms. He did some damage before they finally got the hint and gave him the boot. Anna, your mother, she would have been given another chance in Heaven if she broke it off with him. But she didn’t. She went to him immediately when she learned of his exile. I guess they really were in love, I’ll give you that much. But he was no good for her. He drained her energy a little at a time to keep a hold on his sanity now that he was souled. My team was dispatched to take care of Natalie when she made her last visit here. It became a two-for-one deal when your father got involved. And, Anna...” Connor’s eyes were haunted. “She was weakened by how much he’d been feeding on her and she...she got in the way. It was never supposed to be her, Sam. It wasn’t. But she got in the way of my blade...”
I stared at him, stunned. “You’re the one who killed her.”
Connor blinked hard. “It was the worst moment of my entire existence when I realized what happened.”
I could barely form words, my throat was so thick. “This is too much.”
“I’m sorry, Sam.” His expression darkened. “It should never have been Anna who was destroyed. But it all happened so fast. The Hollow took her. And Nathan nearly killed all of us before he jumped in after her. Thought that was the end of it. Wrong.”
Connor...it was Connor who’d killed my birth mother. Natalie had told me a different story—told me Nathan and Anna were part of the team to track down Natalie who’d escaped from Hell with her little hunger problem. It was how they’d originally met.
And I’d believed every word.
I shoved Connor against the wall. “Are you lying to me?”
He looked at me bleakly. “If I was going to lie, I wouldn’t admit being the one who killed your mother, would I?”
“Samantha,” Jordan said uneasily. “Don’t hurt him.”
I laughed at that, a hollow sound that hurt my throat. “Hurt him? He’s an ageless, immortal angel. You really think I could hurt him?”
“Uh, yeah. I really do. Remember, it’s all fun and games until somebody loses an eye. Or a wing. Or...whatever angels have worth losing.”
“Great,” I murmured. “Jordan Fitzpatrick, resident guardian angel to angels.”
“I’m sorry, Sam,” Connor said again. “But none of this changes anything. The Hollow and the one controlling it need to be dealt with. And it needs to be soon.”
“Sounds like we’re going to have to have a long talk, Connor.” Another voice cut through my concentration. I swiveled to see Bishop standing at the end of the hall, just past the open door. “You’ve been keeping information from the rest of us?”
“How much did you hear?” Connor asked grimly.
“More than enough.”
I stepped back from Connor and crossed my arms as the other angel drew closer.
Adam Drake. Guilty of the murder of twenty-five victims including his older brother, James. Sentenced to death by hanging for his crimes.
Connor hissed out a breath. “I was told not to say anything. Not until I knew more.”
“And what do you know now?” Bishop’s voice was low and dangerous.
“It’s my father,” I said quietly as the pieces clicked together. “I’m right, aren’t I, Connor? It’s him. He’s the one in control of the Hollow. He’s the one who let Natalie out, who let Marissa out. He’s trying to distract—who? You guys? The city? Everybody? What’s his big plan? What’s he trying to do?”
Connor nodded. “Heaven believes that Nathan used his ability to absorb energy to essentially draw the power of the Hollow into himself fueled by his rage and grief over what happened with Anna.”
“What else does Heaven believe that they didn’t bother to tell me?” Bishop asked.
“This was all decided after you left, so don’t take it personally.” Connor grimaced. “They believe he’s still trapped inside, that absorbing the power of the Hollow changed him in ways that prevent him from escaping.”
“Well, that’s a good thing, right?” Jordan said. “If there’s a badass, hate-filled demon who can suck up energy and kill people with a touch, I think it’s probably good that he can’t get out.”
“If he’s not in the Hollow itself, he’s well hidden. Watching, waiting.” Connor shook his head. “But for what? I haven’t figured that out yet.”
“Natalie and Marissa were tests,” I said, feeling cold.
“I’m sure of it.” Connor nodded. “And we took them both down. Nathan must know this and he’ll...adjust his plans—whatever they are. There’s only one problem I can think of now.”
“Only one?” Jordan regarded him like he’d just grown another head. “Wow, you must be looking at a whole other craptastic situation than the one I’m looking at.”
Connor eyed her. “Who invited you here again?”
“That would be me.” I tried not to be even slightly amused by Jordan’s bluntness. Everybody was the victim of it, not just me. “So what’s the problem you can see?”
Connor looked directly at me. “You are.”
I gaped at him. “Me?”
“If we’re right about the ultimate threat being Nathan, then he must know you’re here. It’s too big of a coincidence otherwise. Why would he release Natalie into your city in particular?”
Damn. He had a point. A really pointy one.
I felt Bishop’s searing gaze on the side of my face like fire and finally risked a look directly at him.
“What?”
“You told Connor your secret?”
“Yeah, I told him.”
He groaned. “Fantastic. We definitely need to talk.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Trust me, Bishop. We’re talking, and not only about me being a blabbermouth about my paranormal parentage. I need time to wrap my head around my birth father being the potential big bad of the entire universe. Actually, come to think of it. Let’s talk now.”
Bishop’s brows rose as he regarded me cautiously. “All right.”
“Stay here,” I told Jordan.
Her brows were raised, as well. “Wow, did you just change into your bitch pants? Relax, monster-girl. I won’t budge an inch.”
I sent a dirty look at her then turned to walk down the hall past Bishop and toward the door. I shoved it open and went outside, inhaling the cold air deep into my lungs and trying to do as Jordan suggested and relax.
Yeah, right. That was currently impossible.
The door creaked shut behind Bishop. “Want to fill me in on what’s going on? What are you doing here?”
I let out a long, shaky breath. “In a nutshell? I remembered something Connor said that made me think he knew more than he was letting on. I was right. And I had another vision—another apocalyptic-style one like the one I had the night I met you. The city destroyed, sucked into the Hollow. Nothing left. But there was a voice in my head this time telling me that I was a part of it. That whoever is behind all of this needs my help. It’s my father. It’s him. He’s controlling the Hollow and he’s still driven by grief and hate after losing my mother. He wants revenge.”
“You might be right. But you still shouldn’t have said anything to Connor about what you are.” Bishop’s face was etched in concern and he came closer to me, taking me by my arms to turn me to face him. “It’s too dangerous. If Heaven finds out about your secret...you won’t be safe.”
“Screw secrets,” I blurted out. “Seriously, just screw them. I’m sick of it. Secrets have messed everything up. I have my father’s hunger now. I don’t crave souls anymore like a gray, but I crave supernatural energy just like my father did. That’s how he was able to allegedly suck up the Hollow and mess everything up. And he sent my aunt out to be some sort of a foot soldier for him, to tell me lies and try to get me to join their side. Lies and secrets. They only make everything worse. Know what I mean, Adam?”
“I know it’s been difficult for you, but you have to listen to me. You have to...” His voice trailed off and his blue eyes widened. “What did you just call me?”
The night went quiet all around us so all I could hear was the sound of my heart pounding hard against my rib cage. “Adam.”
He let go of me and took a step backward. “That’s not my name.”
“Yes, it is.” I clasped my hands together to keep them from trembling. “Adam Drake. It’s your name, so don’t even try lying to me. Like I said, I’m sick of lies and secrets. You could have told me the truth, but you didn’t. I had to hear it from somebody else.”
He shook his head, his expression bleak and pale. “No.”
“Adam Drake, eighteen years old in 1878. You killed all those people. It wasn’t only Kraven you murdered. You killed them and you were put to death for it. And yet you still became an angel. Such a mystery, huh? One I’m trying like hell to figure out before it drives me completely insane.”
His eyes glowed blue now, the rest of his face a mask of misery. “How did you—”
“There wasn’t much information about your victims online, but there’s that number that keeps flashing in my mind. Twenty-five victims, starting with your brother. Is that why Heaven thought you’d make a stellar angel of death—because you sent him to Hell? How many have you killed since then?”
He kept walking back as I moved closer until he hit the wall of the church. He stared at me as if every word that spilled from my mouth stunned him. “Countless, Samantha. I’ve killed countless people in Heaven’s name. All people who’ve deserved my blade for what they’ve done—for the threat they presented to the balance.”
“What about the ones when you were alive? Answer me, Bishop.” I had to use that name since it was how I knew him. His real name might be Adam, but he would always be Bishop to me. “Did they deserve it, too? Do you remember killing them?”
“Yes.” His jaw tightened so much it looked painful, and anguish slid through his eyes. “I remember every single one. But I don’t remember why I did it. That’s the worst part. I remember killing them, killing James, but I don’t remember what made me do it. Maybe I snapped. Maybe I’ve always been crazy.”
I turned to look at him again, my fists clenched at my sides. I’d wanted some tidy answers, but all I got were more messy questions.
The crunch of gravel alerted me to someone’s approach.
“Well, well, well,” Kraven drawled. “Look who it is. My little brother and his one and only true love. Sorry to interrupt any outdoor sexcapades. Happily, you still have your clothes on. It is a little chilly tonight.”
Bishop’s glowing gaze moved to the demon. “You told her, didn’t you?”
“Told her? Told her what?” A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Oh, that. Oops. Shouldn’t I have said anything?”
“You son of a bitch.”
“You got that much right.”
“Why?” Bishop’s voice was soft, but his gaze hardened. “Why would you tell her? What good does it do anyone?”
“Good?” Kraven snorted. “Sorry, I think you’re forgetting I’m a demon. We don’t really specialize in good. Mayhem, chaos, misery—that’s more my ticket. Get all those malicious feelings out. Balance scales to the dark side a smidgeon. Delicious.”
“You really hate me that much?”
Kraven’s eyes glowed red. “Oh, little brother. I can’t even express in words how much I hate you. How much I want to see you suffer for what you did to me. So if I can cause any additional pain in that deteriorating brain of yours, I consider it a personal victory. Does she hate you now because of this? Sweetness might be a nexus, but right now she seems to trend toward the lighter side of the scale. She can’t deal with the true nastiness that comes with falling for something like you.” He laughed. “So now what happens, little brother? Do you kill her, too? Do you fulfill your Heavenly mission, no matter who your victim has to be? Whatever they say, right? Come on, where’s that shiny dagger of yours? Let’s get this party started!”
“I’m not killing her,” Bishop said evenly, every word as sharp as a blade. “Even if Heaven made it a direct order—I wouldn’t do it. I don’t care if they destroy this city, if they destroy this entire damn world. I would never hurt her.”
Kraven made a face. “I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.”
I stared at Bishop. Even though there was that edge of madness in his words tonight, he sounded so damn sincere.
For a moment, I’d doubted. After everything that had happened between us, I’d still doubted him.
I was such an idiot.
From the first moment I saw him, there was something there. And yeah, maybe it started off as an instant attraction to his soul, but it was something. And it had only grown since that night when my life had changed irrevocably. Now it wasn’t due to a soul or an instinct or a moment of irresistible craving...for me it was real.
I could never love somebody who hurt people for fun. Who killed because it was a rush, a hobby, something they felt no remorse for. I wasn’t interested in falling for a sociopath now or ever, no matter who he was.
I’d never really totally trusted my heart, even when it was yelling so loudly it was impossible to ignore. And I didn’t really favor doing spontaneous things—things that could get me in trouble at school or put into the backseat of a police car.
Sometimes, though, I had no other choice.
Sometimes, there was only one answer and it appeared with crystal clarity and stubbornly stuck around even when challenged again and again.
I couldn’t ignore that.
“Let me see.” I said it so quietly I wasn’t sure anyone had heard me.
Bishop watched me steadily, his gaze not leaving mine for a moment. “Samantha...”
“Let me see your memories. Drop your walls completely and let me see what happened back then. This has tormented you for over a hundred years. I know it has. But I think I can help you learn what really happened.”
“What really happened?” Kraven scoffed. “He made a deal with Heaven and got a big shiny knife and a pair of fluffy wings for his troubles. I remember how that knife felt when he sank it into my back.”
It wasn’t until I looked at the demon that I felt a hot tear splash to my cheek. His brows drew together as if whatever expression was on my face was the exact opposite of what he’d expected.
“Don’t look at me like that, sweetness. I don’t want your pity.”
He called it pity. I called it empathy. “You’ve suffered all this time, too, but for a different reason. You believe the brother you loved more than anybody else betrayed you for some sort of prize. You would have done anything for him, I know you would have. Even now, you can’t help yourself when it comes to Bishop—”
“Adam,” Kraven bit out the name. “And he can’t even admit to his own damn name. Pathetic.”
“—you still want to help him when he gets in trouble. You still want to save him when he’s in danger. You can tell yourself you hate him and that you only took this assignment to get the chance to make him suffer, but you’re lying to yourself. Theme of the night—no more lies. No more secrets. You think you’re so damn tough, Kraven...”
“I am,” he gritted out.
“You are,” I agreed. “But not when it comes to Bishop. You still love him, you can’t help it. That sort of love is unconditional, even if he hurts you. Even if he...kills you.” I turned from Kraven’s now stricken expression to look at Bishop. “Will you let me see your memories? You can’t fight me on this if I try. I have no damn idea what I’m doing or even if it’ll work. It’s always been accidental before.”
Bishop was silent for so long I was certain he was ready to walk away and try to forget about this.
But finally, he nodded. “We can try.”
“This is ridiculous,” Kraven said, but there was an edge to his voice now. Something raw and pained that went miles deeper than the surface. This pain he felt toward his brother went right to the center of his entire being. “You two have your sexy little mind-meld experiment. I have better things to do.”
When I reached out and grabbed his wrist he turned a very dark look on me that once would have scared me to my very core. To be completely honest, it still did.
“No.” I tightened my grip on him. “You’re not going anywhere.”
He raised an eyebrow. “I’m not?”
I shook my head. “It’s time for the truth. Are you ready to see it?”
Wicked Kiss (Nightwatchers)
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