Well of the Damned

Chapter 19





Gavin tasked Quint with packing his saddle bag and gave Vandra the responsibility for seeing to the rest of their travel arrangements, including choosing the mount that would carry Cirang. As Daia had suspected, Edan wasn’t pleased about being left behind, mostly because he enjoyed adventure as much as the next battler, and tried to argue that his skill with a bow would be invaluable for hunting. Gavin waved off his objections. His knife throwing skill was sufficient, and besides, there were still hundreds of messages to sort and respond to. He would feel better leaving someone at the palace who knew how to handle a crisis, should one arise, and as son of a lordover, Edan was that man.

Feanna whisked past him in the corridor, no doubt seeing to her own travel. She touched his chest as she passed, and he tried to grab her hand to slow her down. “Where are you going so fast? You’ll jar the baby loose.”

She paused and turned with a funny smile. “By walking? Gavin, don’t be daft.”

“I need to talk to you before you leave. Come see me in my library when you can spare a minute.”

She approached and slipped one arm around his waist. “I’m never too busy for you, darling. Let’s talk now.” He leaned down and covered her lips with his own, enjoying their softness and the passion with which she returned his kiss. When she pulled back, her eyes glittered. “Did you say library or bed chamber?”

Gavin grinned. “Library now, bed chamber later.”

“You truly are an adventurous man.”

He took her hand and started towards the library, noting her two soft footsteps on the marble floor to every one of his heavy ones. “Jophet gave me the list of battlers going with you. I want Tennara acting as your champion for now. She’s not to leave your side. Eriska is going?”

“And Jana and Nila, and Vorner will serve as my footman. I’ll have everything I need, Gavin. You really mustn’t worry.”

He followed her into the library and closed the door behind him.

“We’re taking both carriages and a wagon for the supplies.” Feanna arranged her skirts as she took a seat in the chair nearest the cold fireplace. “I’ll ride in one, and I’m bringing a few books, though I suspect I’ll beg one of the ladies to ride with me at times for someone to talk to. I invited Liera to come with me, but she didn’t want to leave GJ. He’s been awfully despondent recently, missing his papa, you know.”

Gavin nodded as he sat beside her. He’d noticed his young nephew’s demeanor at supper the last few nights, though he had no comfort to offer aside from a kind word and loving embrace. “What about the girls and Trevick?”

“They’ve been begging to come, but that’s too long a ride for the girls, and Trevick would miss his lessons. I prefer them to stay behind, though that’ll just stir up more rumors.”

“What rumors?”

She looked at her hands in her lap. “About how I care more for the orphans than I do my own children. It isn’t true. The orphans need me. My— Our children are safe in a loving home. They want for nothing. When every orphaned child has what he needs, then my work will be done.”

Gavin was glad she had such an important mission. He just wished it didn’t require her to travel all across Thendylath.

“The rumors still wound me, though. I wish people weren’t so cruel.”

“Listen,” he said, “rumors’ll spread about us, our children, our friends, and anything else that entertains people. We’re large in the public’s eye. As long as we’re honest with each other, no rumors can harm us.” He was reminded about Keturah Kinshield. This was a good time to bring the matter up to his wife. He wouldn’t want her to learn about him having an illegitimate child through rumors. He took her hands in his. “I have something to talk to you about. It’s not a rumor, but it could become one, and I wanted you to hear the truth from me first.”

“What is it, dear?”

“I need you to promise you won’t speak of this to anyone but me,” Gavin said. He looked deeply into her eyes to make it plain that what he had to say was serious and private.

“Of course, love. What’s on your mind? You can trust me.”

“And I do.” Gavin took a deep breath before continuing. She wouldn’t take this news well. “A woman came here with a daughter she claimed was sired by me.”

Feanna’s right hand flew to her mouth, but she said nothing.

“Except she didn’t know me. She said the man looked like me but without the scars. For eight years, this man gave her a stipend every month to pay for food and clothing for his daughter, all the while claiming to be me. Three months ago, the money stopped coming.”

“It can’t be,” Feanna said. “He wouldn’t. I knew him. He loved his wife. He wouldn’t have done such a thing.”

“I thought I knew him too. He was my brother!” As he spoke, Gavin realized he was angry not just at Rogan for using his name, but at himself for Rogan’s death. There was so much Rogan had left undone, and now this. Worst of all, people could make up lies about him, and he was unable to defend himself or explain how the hell this woman could have such a credible claim.

“Do you have a cousin, perchance?” Feanna said. “Another Kinshield man who looks enough like you or Rogan to make a convincing claim?”

“My father’s brother had two daughters, and his sister had a son who died in childhood. Papa had a cousin who had a son, but he’s been dead for over ten years. Distant cousins, maybe, but her eyes— She looks like a Kinshield. She looks like she could be my daughter.”

“Is it possible she is, and you’ve simply—”

“No,” Gavin said firmly. “The girl was conceived while I was married to Talisha. I was never unfaithful. Never.” To even think about being unfaithful to his first wife made his stomach turn.

“What if it’s true? Oh, Gavin, this is terrible.”

Gavin hung his head. “I know. I still got to acknowledge her as mine.”

Feanna gasped, her eyes open wide. “And give her a claim to the throne? What about our baby, Gavin?” She put her hand on her growing belly. “He’s your legitimate son.”

“I’m not talking about naming this girl as my heiress, only acknowledging her as a Kinshield.” He looked pleadingly into her eyes. “And as my daughter. To protect Rogan’s family.”

Feanna pulled her hand out of his. “To protect the reputation of a dead man, what will that do to your own? You would sacrifice your honor for his? He’s the one who stepped out on his wife, not you. What does that do to Talisha’s name? You would dishonor her too?”

“No, but what am I supposed to do? Destroy my nephews’ memory o’their father as an honorable man? And Liera’s? He was a good man, and he provided for all his children. He died because o’me, and so it’s up to me to continue providing for them. If that means I got to acknowledge his bastard as mine, then that’s what I got to do.”

Feanna gripped his forearm. “But Gavin, you don’t have to do that. You can provide for her the same way Rogan did – secretly. Send her money, ensure she has enough to eat, clothes to wear, and a roof over her head. That’s all you owe her, and no more.”

“Doesn’t she deserve to know her family or who her father was? Doesn’t she deserve the kind o’life his sons have now?”

“That’s not what I’m saying, and you know it. I’m begging you not to destroy our family to protect Rogan. It was his mistake, not yours.”

“I understand, but Rogan’s dead and beyond my protection. I’m trying to protect his widow and the three boys he left behind.”

Feanna threw up her hands dramatically and stood. Gavin stood too. “Do whatever you think is best. Obviously, I’m not going to change your mind.” She started towards the door, and when Gavin reached for her and begged her to wait, she jerked her arm away and stormed out.

His eldest nephew, twelve-year-old Jaesh, tall for his age like Gavin and Rogan had been, was standing outside the door with a startled expression, following Feanna with his gaze. He turned to offer Gavin a shallow smile as he approached.

Gavin exhaled his tension and smiled back. How much of that had his nephew heard? “How now, Jaesh. You finished your lessons for today?”

Jaesh nodded. “Can you spare a minute? I’m sure you’re busy. I could come back later.”

“Never too busy for you.” Gavin sat back down. “Take a seat.”

Jaesh sat in the chair Feanna had just vacated and fidgeted his hands. “I wanted to ask you something. Mama said you have magic that lets you talk to people in times gone by.”

“Yeh. I call it back-traveling. I can travel to any day that’s already happened as if it were a place. That’s how I met King Arek.”

Jaesh leaned forward expectantly. “Could you talk to my papa?”

Gavin should have anticipated this, but he hadn’t, and now he was left with an empty mind and a heavy tongue. He cleared his throat and rubbed his brow, trying to think of a way to let the boy down gently. “It’s possible,” he admitted, “but there are certain things I can’t tell him.”

“What kinds o’things? Could you tell him I miss him?” Jaesh’s eyes moistened.

Gavin put a meaty paw on Jaesh’s shoulder. “I can’t tell him anything that could change the future. If I told him you miss him, he would ask me why. From his point o’view, you’re within shouting distance — he’d wonder why you missed him. If he figured out he’d be dead soon, he might be tempted to do something different.”

“But that would be good, right?”

“As much as I want to change the past, I can’t.”

Jaesh’s face fell. “So you can’t save him?”

Gavin shook his head sadly. “If I could, I would’ve done it already. The magic doesn’t work that way.”

The boy hung his head, and Gavin’s heart sank. He missed his brother too. There was, of course, the matter of Keturah, and Gavin planned to question Rogan about her. “I’ll tell you what,” he said. “If I get a chance to talk to Rogan, I’ll remind him how much you love him.”

The boy looked up at him with an odd expression. “I wonder… There was a time when he came to me while I was cutting duck feathers – he sat down in front o’me looking as if he was going to cry, and said, ‘I know, son.’ He said he loved me too, no matter what.” He looked as though he wanted to say something else, but his face clouded, and in that moment he became more a child and less a boy on the edge of manhood.

Gavin stood and pulled him into an embrace. The boy’s shoulders shook, his arms around Gavin’s waist tightened, and his hands gripped Gavin’s shirt. Gavin felt his own eyes burn with unshed tears. He’d wept for his murdered brother once, but he hadn’t let himself cry again since. In the back of his mind, he knew he could visit Rogan anytime he wanted to. Jaesh, Asia, GJ and Liera didn’t have that luxury. “Listen, I’m leaving for Calsojourn tomorrow. I’ll stop in Saliria and pay a visit to your papa. I’ll do my best to let him know.”

Jaesh pulled back and wiped his face before letting Gavin see it. “May I come with you?”

“I can’t bring you with me back-traveling, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he said. “Besides, I got to take a criminal with me, so it’s best if you stay here.”

“I won’t get in the way. Please, Uncle Gavin. Life is dull here. There’s only so much learning a boy can do in a week.”

Gavin chuckled and squeezed Jaesh’s shoulder. “Let me think on it, but don’t get your hopes up. My answer’ll probably still be no. Feanna’s going to Ambryce tomorrow. If you want, I’ll ask her to take you with her.”

Jaesh made a face. “I love Aunt Feanna, but traveling on a woman’s journey wasn’t what I had in mind.”

Gavin returned to his chair behind the desk. “I understand, believe me.”

That put a smile on his nephew’s face. He went to the door. “My thanks, Uncle Gavin. Until supper, my liege.” He bowed more gracefully than Gavin thought a common-born boy could. Apparently he was receiving lessons in more than just reading and numbers.

“Until then.”