Wyatt took a breath to steady himself. He needed to just drift away, go to sleep, but something just wouldn’t let him do that. It took a few minutes for his brain to figure out Pepper was locked on to him like a missile. She was firmly in his mind, whispering silly nonsense to him. Talking about the children. Telling him the differences between their personalities, so he could identify them more easily.
Every time he started down the road to sleep, she would whisper again, so low he had to really listen to hear her voice. He loved the sound of her voice. He loved the way it filled his mind and made him feel as if he were a part of her. Sometimes she talked about her dreams. Things he knew she would never tell him if she wasn’t so worried about him. Intimate, personal things she would be embarrassed if he remembered once Trap operated on him.
Keep talkin’, Pepper, he encouraged when she choked back a sob. I can feel the boat slowin’. We must be close to the house. Talk to me. I don’ feel the pain when you’re talkin’. And he didn’t so much that he’d just let go. He couldn’t do that to her.
I’ve been afraid for so long, Wyatt, she confided. Once I fell in love with the children, I didn’t know how I was going to get them out of there or care for them. I’m still scared. How can I be a mother when I never had one? I’m trained to kill, not to nurture. You’re so different. So is Nonny. You both know how to love. I didn’t even know what a family was supposed to feel like until I met you. Don’t leave me.
Wyatt concentrated on the tremor in her voice. Her tone told him she really was terrified that she would make mistakes with their children.
I don’t know how to be a girlfriend or a wife. I don’t even like most men. The ones I met weren’t very nice. How can I be someone special to you when I won’t know how to treat you? What to do or say? I’ve honestly never been so terrified.
He wanted to reassure her that they would do just fine. They’d find a way to make it all work. That’s what he was best at – making things work. He couldn’t find the energy to talk anymore, not even when he knew she needed him to. It was all he could do to concentrate on the sound of her voice and keep himself awake.
I thought it would be so much better outside of the laboratories and schools I spent my life in, but at least there I knew what was expected of me. I knew what the rules were. I feel as if I’ve been thrown onto an alien planet and there’s no guidebook to tell me what’s venomous and what isn’t.
He found that an interesting choice of words. Pepper dealt in venom. She’d been bitten several times and knew what it was like to suffer the effects. She had to be really afraid to compare freedom to a snakebite.
I love that you want me for myself. I never thought that could happen. I don’t even know who I am on the outside, but I love that you do.
He made an attempt to squeeze her hand. He was very aware of her fingers in his, but he couldn’t tell if he’d succeeded.
I didn’t know I could feel such love for anyone. It happened so fast, before I had a chance to think or know what I was doing. I’m afraid, Wyatt, all the time, worried you’ll discover I’m not nearly the person you think I am. That doesn’t matter, because you have to stay with me. I need you. The children need you even more than they need me. Stay with me, Wyatt.
She needed reassurance. Babe, I’m not goin’ anywhere. He forced his brain to work, to let her know she wouldn’t be alone.
She went very still. In his mind. Her fingers moved ever so gently in his. I’m pouring my heart out to you, Wyatt, but I didn’t think you could really hear me. I’m sorry. I wanted to keep talking to you. I thought if I did that I could hold you to me.
You thought right. Keep talkin’. I’m strugglin’ to stay conscious.
He didn’t want them to bring him unconscious to his grandmother, or to Ginger. The child had become attached to all of them in a very short time. She would be overjoyed to see her sisters, but she was far too intelligent and she would comprehend that he’d been wounded rescuing them.
Wyatt forced his mind to accept the possibility of death. He reached for Ezekiel. If somethin’ happens to me, send for Gator and Flame. Nonny will need them and they can help Pepper with the girls. My girls. I have three daughters, Zeke. I’d like to see them grow up.
Stop bein’ a morbid son of a bitch, Wyatt. You can’t die and you know it. You’ve got too many responsibilities. So just make up your mind to get through this and do it.
Yeah, that was Ezekiel. All soft edges and sympathy. Wyatt would have laughed but it hurt too damned bad.
Chapter 18
Wyatt stood leaning in the doorway, his entire body shimmering with rage. Pure, black rage. The red welled up to join the black and the cat DNA added to the already lethal mixture. He could taste the terrible mixture in his mouth, a terrible concoction of temper, jealousy, desire and possessiveness. The combination was ugly and it was dangerous.