Chapter EIGHT
I collapsed into my bed thirteen hours later. In less than two minutes I was asleep.
And then Emily showed up.
“How long ago did she crash?” I faintly heard her say just outside the door to my new room.
“About three hours ago,” Alex answered. I heard him rummaging around in the kitchen. I wondered if he was cooking for Emily.
“Dang,” she said. “Well, I guess I’ll let her sleep them. We all know she doesn’t get enough of that.”
“I’m up,” I called in a throaty still-asleep voice.
The door opened and in came a yoga-clad Emily. I suddenly felt bad for missing so many of her classes lately.
“So,” she said as she planted herself in my bed. “How did the trip go?”
“Alex showed my mom his wings,” I said as I rubbed my palm against one of my eyes.
“You did what?” she called toward the door.
“I showed her my wings,” he said as mundanely as if he were repeating something about the weather.
“I heard that the first time,” she said as she rolled her eyes. “And why was that a good idea?”
“Let’s just say not all of the trip went so well,” I said as I rolled onto my side, propping myself up on an elbow.
“I’m sorry, babe,” Emily said with a small sideways smile. “Was everything else okay though?”
“Uh, sure,” I lied, thinking of the council member who was following me, of the fight that broke out at the engagement party.
“Well,” Emily drew out the word, her face forming one of her brilliant smiles. “Today was my first day at the University.”
“Oh yeah! How’d it go?”
“It was so amazing! I actually felt legit, and I’m getting paid some real money! And I’m finally done at that crappy coffee shop.”
“That’s great,” I beamed at her. But I saw the way her smile didn’t quite meet her eyes, saw the bags under them. Cormack leaving was harder on her than she was letting on.
“Then I’m actually going back down to the homeless shelter in a few hours,” she said, her face falling just slightly. “I’m volunteering at a few different places. Gotta’ tip the scales back in my favor.”
I wasn’t sure what to say as the conversation turned to Emily’s judgment. I put a hand on her knee, giving it a small squeeze. “You’re a good person, Emily.”
“Who’s done a very bad thing in her past,” she said quietly as her eyes fell to the comforter under us.
“You can do it,” I encouraged.
She suddenly flashed me another smile, unfolding her legs as she got up. “Well, if you’re really awake you should get out here and see what Alex is working on.”
Furrowing my brow, I climbed out of the bed and walked out the door and into the kitchen.
Alex had two cakes before him, one three-tiered and square shaped, the other six-tiered and rounded. He was kneading a big white ball of what I assumed was fondant icing. The round cake was already flawlessly covered.
“So which one do you like?” Alex asked as he started rolling out the icing.
“Uh,” I struggled. “You’re making full-on preliminary cakes?”
“Well,” he said as he started covering the square one. “To be honest, I’ve never made a wedding cake before. I wanted to make sure I could do it.”
“You had doubts?” Emily said as she rolled her eyes.
“Hey,” he defended as he glanced up at her. “I’m not perfect at everything.”
“Yeah, right,” Emily and I both said at the same time. Everyone erupted into laughter.
“So, have you picked your colors yet?” Emily asked as she turned her eyes on me.
“Yeah, I need to know how to proceed after you pick one of the cakes,” Alex piped in as he put the finishing touches on the fondant.
“And we need to get dresses figured out,” Emily said.
“Geeze, I’ve only been home a few hours,” I said in mock defense.
“And your wedding is in only eighteen days,” Emily said seriously as she raised her eyebrows at me.
“Whoa, you’re right,” I breathed as it all hit me. “What do you think Alex? Colors?”
“Sorry,” he said as he chuckled. “This one is totally up to you. I’m a guy, remember?”
I chuckled and rolled my eyes at him. “Fine, I’ll look through some of Amber’s bridal magazines and see what I like.”
“Then we can go shopping?” Emily asked hopefully as she pressed her palms together.
“Then we can go shopping,” I smiled at her.
“Yay!” she cheered like a high school girl. I wondered if her overly cheerfulness was a cover for how she was really feeling inside. “Well, I’ve got to get going but I will be back tomorrow morning to give you a hand with this stuff.”
“’K, see you later,” I called as she walked out the door.
“So, which one?” Alex asked as he wiped his hand on that silly white and pink checkered apron. It was a relic of his grandmothers.
I considered for a moment. “I like the square one. The round one is just going to be ten times more cake than we are ever going to need.”
“It’s a wedding,” he smiled. “We’re supposed to go over the top with everything.”
“Yeah, and what are we supposed to do with these cakes?” I teased him.
Alex’s brow furrowed. He hadn’t thought of that part. And then with perfect skill and balance, he picked the both of them up and headed toward the door. “Wanna’ get that for me?”
I chuckled as I opened it and he bounded to Emily’s car before she pulled away.
The homeless would get to enjoy two undecorated mock wedding cakes.
Alex came back inside and started cleaning up the remains of his cake experiment.
“No word about Caroline, right?” I asked as I settled onto one of the barstools.
Alex shook his head. “I did go file a missing person’s report about two hours ago. They didn’t seem too eager to help find a drug-addicted woman though.”
“She’s still a person.”
Alex nodded. “A person who isn’t wanting to be found. Honestly I’m not planning on her showing up for the wedding.”
“She’ll be there,” I said, feigning confidence.
Alex looked up at me, giving a sad half-smile. “I was thinking we should go look at wedding locations today. We’ll be lucky if anything is available.”
“I’ve got the rest of the day off,” I smiled. “I’m working the next six day straight to make up for all the work I’ve missed so I guess today’s our only chance.”
X
Over the course of the next seven days Alex and I found our perfect venue, I finally settled on the colors of rosewood red and bronze, worked more hours in a row than I had ever worked before, and finally managed to drag Sal into her doctor’s office.
It hadn’t been a smooth experience and would have been impossible if not for Alex helping to keep her calm with his angelic talents. She left the office with a prescription for sleeping pills and an anti-anxiety medication. Sal said she would refuse them, that she didn’t want their drugs.
Was I a bad person for slipping them into her food every day? Sal was finally looking rested and finally seemed to relax. I didn’t feel too terrible.
Emily, Amber, and I went dress shopping. I was grateful for Alex’s deep pockets as they both picked out matching dresses, found shoes and jewelry. And together we picked out my bouquet.
It was starting to feel like my time at work was my only down time. I could quietly stock the shelves, letting Rita handle the cash register. Work was busier while Austin took it easy and let his casted arm heal up. Life felt slower within the walls of the bookstore. It felt like everything inside made sense, like my impossible world was just another story from one of the books on the shelves.
But things were far from perfect. As I left work late one night, the silent council member had been standing across the street, just watching. And literally with the blink of an eye, he was gone again.
I didn’t like sleeping by myself at nights. I hadn’t done it for months and months now. I had gotten used to curling up into Alex’s body in the middle of the night, stealing his warmth, of the sound of his breathing. Now the sheets on the other side of the bed were always cold.
But I knew what would happen if we stayed in the same bed before the wedding.
On a morning when Alex was at the house finishing up the rest of his remodels and showing it to a potential renter, I sat on the floor of the master bedroom, my folder of drawings spread out before me. Next to them lay the leather bound book of names.
The names of the dead I had stood trial for.
My eyes trailed over the images, taking in the details I had captured with pencil. The council’s chairs, my holding cell, Cole’s shadowed brand. I picked up one of the drawings, looking at it more closely.
It was rougher than most of the other ones, as if I had drawn it in a hurry. It was a picture of me, about to fall off the catwalk, a pair of beautiful wings sprouting from my back. One set of angels was trying to pull me up into never ending bliss, another set were trying to drag me down to the fiery depths with them.
It may have been the council who sentenced a person to heaven or hell but it was their minions that took them there.
I opened my leather book, my eyes trailing over the names.
Lisa Donovan.
Ted Meyer.
Gabriel Sanchez.
Kimberly Seely.
So many names. I had experienced trial for hundreds and hundreds of people.
Why had they gotten out of it?
I felt like there should have been an answer here. There was something I was missing.
What are you willing to do to save him?
What could I do? How could I fight against beings that weren’t even in my world?
If they can’t claim you…
I’d seen the proof that I couldn’t die at this point. As Cole had said, four times now I should have died, and yet I had not stood before the council. But the thought that the council could not claim me seemed too impossible.
I wasn’t sure how this was supposed to help me.
My phone vibrated on the floor next to me and I opened it to a text from Emily.
Where are you?
“Crap,” I said under my breath as I scooped the pages back into their folder and stashed it and my name book back in the darkest part of my closet.
It felt like it took me forever to get to the restaurant. Emily seemed pretty annoyed that I had completely forgotten about her. I gave her an apologetic smile as we sat in our booth.
“I’m so sorry,” I started after we ordered. I tried to ignore the way the waiter stared open-mouthed. “I got… distracted.”
“It’s fine,” she said with a sigh as she twisted her napkin between her hands. “I just… I’m having kind of a crappy day.”
“Want to talk about it?” I asked, watching as the napkin shredded between her hands.
“It’s just hard, you know? I meet this totally amazing guy. He’s perfect. And then he’s gone. I mean, I know I didn’t really know him, and he was dead, but still.”
“It doesn’t seem fair.”
“No, it isn’t,” Emily said as she leaned back in her seat, rubbing her eyes. “It royally sucks.”
Our drinks were brought with our salads at the same time. I tried not to meet the waiter’s eyes. He was borderline creepy.
“I’m really sorry,” I said, unsure of what to say when he finally left. It seemed that when angels were involved there were no happy endings.
“You know, I look at you and Alex and there’s not a doubt in my mind that its love between the two of you. Anyone can see it. But I don’t… I don’t really think that’s what me and Cormack had.”
“What do you think you had?” I asked cautiously. Emily had blown up at me once about her jealousy before. And then run straight to Cole to console herself.
“I don’t know,” she said quietly, shaking her head as her eyes stared at the blank space passed my left shoulder. “A connection, I guess? As simple as it sounds I guess that’s what it was.”
I leaned forward, resting my forearms on the table. “I think… maybe you just needed someone. Do you think anyone else could have given you the hope and drive that Cormack did?”
Emily met my eyes, not answering for a long moment. “No,” she answered simply.
“Then I think that it’s okay if you didn’t actually love Cormack. He affected you. You needed him for a time and I think he needed you.”
A small tug of a smile worked its way to Emily’s lips. Her eyes reddened slightly.
“Cormack didn’t have to be the end for you, Emily,” I said as I took her hand in mine. “There’s still someone out there for you.”
Emily chuckled, a smile spreading on her face. She wiped at her cheeks, brushing away the few tears that broke free. “Good going, Jess,” she teased. “You made me cry.”
I chuckled with her, sitting back in my seat. “Sorry. You okay?”
She rolled her head in a circle, stretching the muscles in her neck, closed her eyes for a moment, and took a deep breath. “It’s okay. I’m okay. You’re right. It’s time to let life move on.”
I could only give her a small supportive smile as she plastered a bright, fake one onto her face.
“So, you’ve got his ring size?” Emily asked, changing the conversation as she forked a big bite into her mouth.
I nodded. “I just got paid yesterday, so we’re good to go.”
Emily’s eyes suddenly narrowed at a spot over my shoulder. “Someone’s watching you,” she whispered.
I whipped my head around, my heart leaping into my throat. I only caught a glimpse of dark eyes and sandy colored hair before he was gone.
“Do you know who that was?” Emily asked, her eyes looking back to the place where the man had disappeared.
“I didn’t see anyone,” I only half lied.
Emily shook her head, looking back down at her food. “Sorry, I didn’t sleep very well last night. Maybe I’m just seeing things.”
I knew she wasn’t.
We finished eating and headed for the jewelers store. I felt overwhelmed as soon as we walked through the doors. Emily’s eyes lit up as she scanned the glass cases.
“Welcome ladies,” a man with a very feminine voice greeted us with a brilliant smile. “Is there something I can help you find today? A little something special for yourselves?” he asked with a wink.
“She’s ring shopping,” Emily spoke up when I hesitated. “She just got engaged and the wedding is less than two weeks away.”
“Ooo,” he drug out, giving me a mischievous look. “Shotgun wedding huh?”
I just nodded, giving a small smile. “October third.”
“Wonderful!” he said as he clapped his hands together, flashing a brilliant smile. His teeth were just a little too white. “Well we have a wonderful selection of men’s wedding bands. Right this way ladies!”