Chapter SIX
Four hours later, I sat in the back seat of my mother’s car, listening as she and Amber talked non-stop about wedding-related things. I felt overwhelmed as I half listened to everything that was involved. Dresses, cakes, decorations, flowers, invitations. It all made my stomach knot. I didn’t have the energy to join in the discussion. I just stared out the window, watching the familiar scenery flash by.
There were only two wedding dress shops in Idaho Falls. As I stepped inside, the area smelling of brand new fabric and French vanilla candles, I took in the rows and rows of white, billowy fabric, the mannequin’s, the veils, and the shoes. And then I realized my grave mistake in agreeing to this outing. Nearly every dress was sleeveless; nearly everything would leave my scars exposed.
A plump, friendly woman greeted us as we entered and in a whirlwind, set to guiding us through the racks of white dresses.
“Are you feeling alright?” Mom asked as we followed the woman. “You’re awfully pale.”
I shook my head. “I’m feeling kind of queasy actually. Maybe I’ll just help Amber and watch?”
She gave me a concerned look, almost like she didn’t quite believe me, and then slowly nodded. “Alright.”
We browsed through racks and racks of dresses. The sales woman talked about different types of material, different waistlines, different beading and embellishments. It all started to sound like gibberish to me. Everything Amber pulled to try on was a huge ball gown with ornate tops and a hefty price tag. It was a good thing Rod’s pockets went deep because I knew my parent’s didn’t run that deep.
I ran my fingers over the fabric as we I waited for Amber to try the next dress on. A small bit of sadness settled into the pit of my stomach. I had no idea what kind of dress I wanted. I hadn’t allowed myself to think about it. And there was nearly nothing I could wear that wouldn’t scream the truth of my life to everyone in attendance.
Then I saw the off-white colored lace, the sweet-heart neckline, the bronze sash, sitting at the end of the rack, pushed up against the wall. I traced my fingers along the eyelets, the waves of fabric that brushed the floor. I ran my finger along the ridge of the totally strapless-ness of the neckline.
It was perfect.
But I could never wear it.
“What do you think?” Amber said from behind me, pulling me out of my haze of self-pity. I gave her a small smile, watching as she turned in a full circle.
“You look beautiful.”
Amber tried on dress after dress. And in between each of them, while the lady who worked the shop helped Amber get dressed, my mother and I sat in awkward silence.
We may not have been fighting but the wounds of the past weren’t getting healed today.
As I suspected, we walked out of the shop without anything, Amber as indecisive as ever. I felt a hollow spot in my stomach again as I eyed the lacy dress one more time before we left.
X
“So you made it through the day,” Alex whispered as we crawled into bed that night.
“Somehow,” I said as I nestled up against him. “I’m completely exhausted though.”
“How was the dress shopping?” he asked as he ran his fingers along my upper arm. My skin flashed with goosebumps.
I sighed, feeling my stomach clench up again. “I didn’t even try anything on. Nothing would have covered the scars.”
He was quiet for a moment, considering what I had said. “Maybe you shouldn’t cover them up. They’re a part of you and everyone that is coming should be able to accept that.”
I shook my head. “No way. That would be a disaster.”
He didn’t reply, just dipped his head, pressing his lips to my bare shoulder. He worked his way down my arm, his hands coming to the hem of my tank top and lifting it, exposing my stomach. His lips trailed to my bellybutton, his hands slipping down my thigh.
“So I have an idea,” he breathed against my skin.
“I have a few ideas right now myself,” I sighed as I ran a hand through his short sandy hair.
He chuckled. “When we get back home,” he said as he spread his kisses to my sides, lingering for a moment, then returning to center. “We should stay in separate bedrooms until the wedding.”
“Why?” I asked, my nose scrunching up.
“One,” he said as he worked his way higher. “Because if we have many more nights like this we aren’t going to make it to the wedding.”
He was right there.
“And two, it will make it all the better come the wedding night.”
I considered it, while hormones rushed through my body. “This is a really bad, good idea.”
He laughed again, sliding up my body until his lips met mine. “Agreed.”
A knock at the door sent my heart into my throat and Alex to the other side of the bed in a fraction of a second. A moment later my dad poked his head inside. “Just wanted to say good-night.”
“Night, Dad,” I said as I pressed my lips in a tight line, trying to hold a half-scream, half-laugh back.
“Good-night, Dennis,” Alex said, his voice perfectly calm.
My dad looked at us a second longer, and then a sly smile crossed his lips before he closed the door. Two seconds later we heard another knock and the sound of springs squeaking as Amber and Rod jumped apart.
I couldn’t hold my laugh back as I heard my dad awkwardly tell Amber and Rod good-night.
“Oh my gosh. I can’t believe I almost got walked in on by my dad,” I laughed quietly. “I never thought that would happen.”
“I kinda’ like getting you into trouble,” Alex said as he stared up at the ceiling, reaching over and pulling at the waistband of my shorts with one finger, snapping it against my skin.
“Yeah, I don’t think sleeping in the same bed is going to be an option much longer,” I breathed as I rested my arms above my head. “You don’t even sleep anymore. What are you going to do all night?”
“Good question,” he said, his voice filled with wondering.
Even as he spoke, I felt edges of my consciousness starting to blur, sleep already pulling me under.
I had dreams that night of chasing Cole through the forest surrounding Lake Samish, begging him to stop, begging him to tell me how to save Alex. But as soon as I thought I was gaining ground on him, he would slip out of sight.
I woke with a hollow feeling in my stomach.
The day was a whirlwind of activity. Amber spent the majority of it on the phone, calling half of the population of Idaho Falls, Ucon, and the surrounding area that was between the ages of seventeen and twenty-one. Alex and I were sent out to get food for the party that night.
“I think we’ve got to try and talk to him,” Alex said as we walked through the aisles of the grocery store. We’d been discussing what we had seen yesterday, both agreeing it must have been the mystery angel.
“I don’t want you going anywhere near him,” I said as I placed three bags of chips in the cart. “If I get the chance, I’ll try and talk to him.”
“That really doesn’t seem like a good idea either. Angels have been trying to take you your whole life, what makes you think this one isn’t trying to do the same thing?”
I had to pause and think about it for a bit. Angels had been trying to take me for a long time. This one kept showing up, just as Cole had reminded me of how they should have received me by now but hadn’t.
“They won’t take me,” I said as I shook my head. “You made a trade.”
“I still don’t think it’s a good idea,” Alex said, his shoulders tight, his hands gripping the cart a little too tightly.
“Who knows, maybe we won’t see him again.”
“Somehow I doubt that,” Alex sighed. “We’ve see how persistent residents of the afterlife can be.”
I tried to place the man’s face, to match it to a council member but the only one I could recall was Cole.
Why couldn’t the afterlife just leave me alone?
X
The party was worse than I had expected. There had to be nearly one hundred people there, considering the population of Ucon was only eleven-hundred, it was a lot. The backyard was packed, people gathering around the food table, stuffing their faces full. I hung back against the wall of the house, Alex by my side, chatting with some guy. I was pretty sure I had gone to high school with his older brother.
I saw all the looks that kept coming in my direction, and in Alex’s. I saw the way the male eyes lingered on my skin, on the shape of my legs. I saw the way they licked their lips, heard the way their heartbeats quickened. Amber’s friends were practically drooling over Alex.
“Is that really Amber’s sister?”
“I thought she was in an institution or something.”
“Isn’t she that girl who ran away in high school?”
“Dude, she has a ring on her finger, this is a freaking engagement party. You can’t just go ask her out.”
The talk was flying.
My palms were sweating as I tried not to meet anyone’s eyes. I didn’t want to keep being reminded of how everyone from this town thought I was an insane insomniac. It had been bad enough facing my mother, it was so much worse to have to be facing the entire town.
“I’m going to go get some more ice,” I said to Alex. He met my eyes for a minute, his own sad and apologetic looking. He knew how hard this was for me.
I stepped in the quiet house, walking into the front living room where no one could see me through the back glass doors. I leaned against the wall, tipping my head back, and letting out a slow breath.
You can do this, I told myself. You just have to make it until tomorrow night and it will be all over.
Feeling my insides start to calm, I opened my eyes.
He was there again. Standing in the middle of the road, just watching me through the window.
I reacted without thinking. I crossed to the front door in one too-fast movement and yanked the door open.
“Hey,” I called as I jumped down the front step. The man started walking down the street, right on the yellow line. “Hey,” I said again as I crossed the lawn, quickening my pace to catch up with him.
He didn’t look back at me, just continued to head west down the road.
“What do you want from me?” I demanded as I followed him. “Why are you following me?” He still remained silent. “I know what you are and I know where you’ve come from. You’re not supposed to be here. So why are you here?”
The sun sank in the horizon, washing the earth in brilliant golden tones. Just before it sank below the top of the buildings, I was blinded for a short moment. I held my hand up to block the light, squinting to make out the man’s form.
But he was already gone.
My breathing was coming in gasping breaths, my hands shaking. Not from fear, but from anger.
Why couldn’t the afterlife just leave me alone already?
Shouts rose from the direction of my parents backyard and before I could even think, I was jogging back. As I rounded the corner, I saw Rod’s fist connect with another boy’s jaw. Rod’s nose was already bleeding, covering his lips and teeth with red. The other guy just growled as he was knocked to the ground, swinging back at Rod as they hit the ground.
Alex shoved his way through the crowd, grabbing Rod by the back of his shirt and pulling him off of the other guy. Holding the two apart as they continued to try and swing at each other, Alex turned hard eyes on the other guy. “You seriously need to leave now.” Even though he didn’t raise his voice, it was filled with enough power to make anyone shake.
Giving Rod and Alex looks that would kill if they could, he spit red liquid on the ground. Wiping at his mouth with his bare arm, he shoved Alex’s hand away and walked around the other corner of the house without looking back once.
Everyone stood in a circle for a silent moment, shock at seeing an actual fight break out in the middle of a party.
“Let’s move on people,” Dad said, waving everyone away from Rod and Alex. Erupting into conversations, they disbursed.
“What was that all about?” I asked, turning my focus to Amber who was fussing over Rod as he cradled his hand.
“That,” she said as she grabbed a napkin and some ice cubes from the table. “Was Todd.”
“Your ex who beat the crap out of you?” I asked, my insides flaring instantly.
Amber nodded. “He showed up a few minutes ago, calling me a deserting whore. He tried grabbing me.”
“He seriously shouldn’t have done that,” Rod said through clenched teeth. “You should have just let me at him, Alex. Guys like that need to learn a lesson or two from someone who can stand up to them.”
“And if I hadn’t stepped in you’d be spending the night in a jail cell,” Alex piped up, his voice sounding on edge. I saw the way his entire frame was shaking.
The afterlife was calling.
“Cool it!” Alex barked, his tone just a little too harsh.
Amber and Rod ducked inside to take care of his hand and bleeding nose, their expressions slightly startled at Alex’s outburst.
“His temper is really going to get him in trouble someday,” Alex said. He squeezed his eyes closed, taking a deep breath.
“I saw him again,” I said quietly, changing the subject. I softly put my hand on his quaking arm. “I followed him.
“You did?” Alex’s eyes flashed open. “And?”
“And nothing,” I said, watching as Alex’s frame stopped quivering. “I asked him what he wanted but he didn’t say anything. And then he literally disappeared into the sunset.”
“Creeper,” Alex said under his breath. I couldn’t help but chuckle. Alex cracked a smile too.