The Holders

26



I didn’t wake up all at once. It wasn’t the gradual shifting from the haze of sleep into the clarity of reality, or even the harsh jolt of awareness brought on by a nightmare or alarm clock. It was like being buried under a mountain of blankets, while someone slowly removed them one at a time. Each layer gone, brought me just the tiniest bit closer to the surface, returning my strength drop by drop. For a while I had to struggle to remain conscious for mere seconds at a time, and even then I couldn’t move or even open my eyes. But if nothing else, I knew I wasn’t dead. At least I really hoped not, or I was stuck in the lamest afterlife ever.

Eventually my periods of consciousness grew longer and became distinguishable from sleep, and my senses started to work again. I could hear the door open and close, and the occasional conversation, though those were rare and usually too hushed to make out. I could feel the bandages on my hands and the soreness of the wounds underneath. My ability also began to return and I started to sense the people around me. At first, it was only the slightest nudge here and there from the ability closest to me, barely noticeable. But gradually, as the layers continued to lift away, the nudges intensified, becoming the distinct and unique brushes of power I’d come to know and recognize.

Min came and went quite a bit, and Mr Anderson and Mr Reid were almost always nearby, but seldom came into the room. However, the person whose presence gave me the most comfort, and the one who garnered the majority of my attention, was Alex. Forever at my side, there wasn’t one single time I’d woken up that I couldn’t feel him next to me, holding my un-bandaged fingers, or gently stroking my cheek. Sometimes, when I couldn’t feel anyone else around, he would talk to me, though unfortunately it was usually in Gaelic. But even if I didn’t know what he was saying, the low tone of his voice and the graceful tumble of words were always a soothing balm on my tired mind.

Finally, after who knows how long, I woke up feeling strong enough to try and open my eyes. It felt like I was lifting up the back door of a Mack Truck, but after a few tries, I did it – only to find that thanks to my impeccable timing it was the middle of the night and so dark I could barely see anyway. What I could make out in the dim light was a small room with no window and one door. Luckily, my head was already tilted toward the right, where I could see Alex, sleeping on a rocker that was pulled up next to the bed.

I tried to call him, but couldn’t even open my mouth, much less force air past my vocal cords fast enough to produce sound. I tried to move, to grunt, anything to get his attention, but it was no use. I lay there, looking at his darkened silhouette, so frustrated I wanted to scream – except I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything. He was two feet away from me, but with the state I was in he may as well have been in the next room.

I was about to give up, hoping I’d have better luck tomorrow, when I realized that Alex’s ability wasn’t the only one present in my mind. While I couldn’t see him in the room, Mr Anderson was also near enough – in the hall maybe? – for me to be able to feel his ability, which gave me an idea. I tried pushing my ability out to meet his, and was happy that it was easy to do so, especially given how ridiculously hard everything else seemed to be. I linked us together, and focused on Alex, hoping my plan would work.

Alex? I imparted quietly.

It did work, maybe even a little too much, as Alex sat up with a gasp, head whipping from side to side looking for the origin of his wakeup call.

It’s me, I’m imparting, I said quickly. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.

He looked over at me, sucking in a harsh breath as he saw I was looking back at him. A second later he was leaning over me, his trembling hands on either side of my face, “Becca?” he whispered, letting out something between a laugh and a sob, “Y-you’re awake?”

I tried to smile, but I don’t think it worked. Yeah, but it’s too hard to talk, so I’m borrowing from Mr Anderson.

“You’re awake,” he breathed with a shudder. “My God, you’re awake…” He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine, fingers still shaking against my cheeks.

“I know it’s late,” I said, after a moment. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

He pulled back shaking his head with a brilliant smile, tears shining in his eyes. “I’m so glad you did.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, carefully gathering my nearest hand into one of his. “How do you feel?” he asked, his free hand lovingly grazing a trail back and forth from my temple to my jaw.

OK I guess. Not being able to move is annoying, but otherwise good. The wounds on my hands were actually pretty sore too, but I was afraid if I told him that he’d release the hand he was currently holding.

“You’re weak,” he said, his smile glowing as though that was somehow the best news ever. “You’ve been through a lot, give it time.”

I’m not weak, I’m just tired, I denied, stupid as I knew it was.

“Awake for less than two minutes and already arguing with me!” he laughed, his face glowing.

Suddenly something dawned on me. Wait a minute, how can I be using Anderson’s ability? How can I feel anyone at all? Didn’t Min Block me?

“No,” he said. “We decided that with the amount of control it took for you to use the Iris the way you did, that there was no need to replace the Block. You are firmly in control of yourself. You will still need to be trained, and she didn’t remove the Block on Jocelyn, so you still won’t be able to access anything he can do, but otherwise you are free and clear. But there is another question you’re not asking,” he said, grinning.

When I didn’t answer – because I had no clue what he was talking about – he reached down below my field of vision, and pulled up a long silver chain that had something hanging from it, swinging back and forth like a pendulum.

If I’d had it in me to squeal, I would have.

It was my Sciath stone, cleaned and reset into a pendant. The deep green gem was visible from both sides, encircled by a thin silver ring that had a Celtic design carved into it.

“I thought you’d like it,” Alex said, seeing my eyes light up. “Your old one was destroyed.”

Yeah. Actually, I did that.

“You? Why?”

I knew they were going to take it off so they could use the Iris to drain me, so I broke it up to get the stone out and hid it in my hand. Then when they gave me the Iris, I was able to use it to call for help.

The amazement that lit his face made me want to look away, embarrassed, but since I couldn’t, I tried changing the subject.

Where are we? I asked.

“One of the extended stay rooms in the school’s infirmary,” he answered, still smiling.

How long have I been here? I asked, not sure if I really wanted to know.

“It’s Monday morning,” he said with a wince. “So almost five days.”

I hated the sadness that crept back into his features, so I tried to lighten the mood. Wow, five days without brushing my teeth. Good thing I can’t talk.

He smiled at my lame attempt at humor, though the haunted look behind his eyes was still there as he leaned down to kiss my cheek.

But wait, five days? What about the nurses and doctors and stuff? What did you tell them happened to me? Should I know what you told them in case they ask?

“We told the head nurse the truth.”

What, that I got my ass kicked by a magic rock? Somehow I’m thinking they didn’t buy that.

He shook his head with a grin. “The head nurse here knows about us, and she’s been the only one who’s seen you. She isn’t a Holder herself but Jocelyn always keeps at least one person on the medical staff aware of our… situation,” he said with a wink. “Just in case there are any emergencies.”

I have to admit, I thought I’d be worse off, I said, glancing down at my lack of wires, tubes, and other standard hospital paraphernalia. Must not have been that bad.

Alex’s face sank, into a grave mask. “It was very bad, Becca. There just wasn’t much that could be done for you.”

What do you mean? Couldn’t Min just give me some of her magic juice like she did the last time?

He shook his head, and even in the dim light I could see some of the color drain from his face.

What happened, Alex? Please tell me. I hated to ask, seeing how difficult it was for him, but I needed to know.

He sighed, bringing his arm down from my face, wrapping my hand in both of his. “When we got to Ryland’s dorm, there were no obvious signs of trouble. Min could tell that the guard charm around the building had been breached, but there was no one suspicious outside or in the hallways, and we found Ryland safe in one of the common areas with some friends. We split up, searching every room, restroom, even the roof, but there was nothing. We were reconvening outside, trying to determine what our next move should be, when Taron ran up and told us you’d gotten away.” His jaw clenched angrily. “He told us that since Min hadn’t replaced the Block on your Sciath, you’d been able to get a hold of the Iris and overwhelm him. He claimed you’d very nearly knocked him out, and that he’d come to the dorm to look for you, assuming that’s where you would have gone. Jocelyn ordered us into teams of two, but just as we were about to go off and look for you, we got your message. We could hear you screaming in our heads… hear the terror in your voice…”

He stopped, looking away for a moment, then took a deep breath before continuing. “The look of shock and panic on Taron’s face was as good as a confession, but we didn’t have time to deal with him, knowing you were in danger. Jocelyn grabbed Taron by the collar and in the blink of an eye, pulled the information we needed right out of his mind. ‘Aimirgin Hall,’ he told us. ‘There’s an open door round back’. Then he did something I’d never seen him do. He told Taron to return to his room at Lorcan and stay there until he was sent for. Ordered him not to speak or attempt to contact anyone in any way.”

And Taron actually did all that? Without trying to run, or anything?

“He had no choice. Jocelyn compelled him.”

I thought he didn’t believe in doing that sort of stuff?

“This was something of a special circumstance,” Alex said, smiling sadly.

OK, so then what happened?

“Jocelyn, Anderson, Reid, and I all made a run for Aimirgin Hall, while Min went back to Lorcan to get us a car. When we were nearly there, Reid said he could feel you connecting with him, and we told Anderson to let you know we were coming as soon as he had you in range.”

He did, though in hindsight maybe he shouldn’t have, I said without thinking.

“Why?” Alex asked, as I kicked myself for bringing it up, well aware that Alex was better off not knowing the finer details of my “alone time” with Cail.

Nothing, it just distracted me for a second, I said, trying to play it off, but finding it extremely difficult to come off passé without the aid of facial expressions. Sorry, go on, I urged, hoping to thwart any further questioning on the subject.

He eyed me, but continued. “The man who had you must have heard us coming, because as we entered the building he came running out of one of the rooms trying to make a break for it. He had the Iris in one hand, and something else – we didn’t know what it was at the time – in the other. Jocelyn was able to grab the Iris, and I heard Anderson and Reid wrestling him to the ground, while I ran into the room he’d come out of.”

So you got him?

“No, he got away. Reid and Anderson thought they had him knocked out, but he must have come to and run off. That or he was faking to begin with, just waiting for an opportunity.”

No one was guarding him?

“They were, but they all came running when they heard me… h-heard me find you.” Alex paused, not really looking at me, but through me, seeing only the memories playing behind his eyes. “When Jocelyn came in, he tried to find a thought or any kind of sign in your mind, but there was nothing. It didn’t even look like you were breathing.” He continued to tighten his grip on my hand as he spoke, without appearing to be aware of it. After a long pause, he cleared his throat and closed his eyes, as if to push out the unwanted images. He cleared his throat once more and looked up, finally meeting my eyes with a weak smile. “Just as Min arrived, we were able to find your pulse. It was thin and weak, but we were thrilled – until Min found the broken shards of glass in the hall.”

The what?

“When Anderson and Reid were struggling with the man in the hall, the glass bottle he’d been holding broke. Neither of them thought anything of it, but as soon as Min saw the pieces of glass, and the remnants of your saol still hovering around them, she knew immediately what they were. It was a Spirit Vial. Min had read about them, but didn’t realize that anyone had ever successfully created one. When we realized what it was… realized what had been in it… we didn’t have much hope.” He took another long breath, then ploughed on in a very matter-of-fact tone. “Min said that without being able to replace the life you’d lost, that there were only two possibilities. Either the tiny bit of energy you still had would be strong enough to regenerate and you would wake up, or you would simply fade away,” he finished, his voice tight.

So, you’ve just been sitting here… for five days… waiting?

He brought his hand back up to my cheek. “Like I said,” he smiled, as his eyes became bright again, “I’m very happy you woke me up.”

Looking up into his drawn complexion and tired eyes I knew I had never felt worse in my life. The fact that my bullheaded stupidity had caused him so much worry and pain was more than I could take, not to mention the stress and trouble I’d undoubtedly brought to everyone else. I’m so sorry, I apologized, closing my eyes, ashamed, I never should have left.

He ran his thumb over my cheek. “It wasn’t your fault. You were worried about Ryland, and Taron took advantage.”

I knew he was trying to comfort me, but I still felt like an idiot. I opened my eyes, but didn’t look at him. If I would have stayed, none of this would have happened. I should have listened.

“Yes, you should have. But in the end it wouldn’t have mattered. Taron had everything planned down to the last detail. You can bet he would have found a way to get you out of the building, one way or another.” I looked up as he finished and saw the flash of anger tense his face.

I’m sorry for that too, I said, my heart going out to him. I know he was your friend.

“I don’t know if ‘friend’ is the word,” he sighed, “but I did trust him. We all did.”

Yeah, I laughed. Everyone but me. Ironic. What’s going to happen to him?

“Jocelyn hasn’t decided yet, bu–”

Oh! Cormac! I know where Cormac is! I interrupted, panicking at the thought of poor Cormac locked in a shed for almost a week.

“Shh,” Alex soothed. “We found him, don’t worry. He’d been drugged, but Min took care of him, he’s fine. The last thing you need is to get worked up.”

But he’s OK?

“He’s fine,” he said, raising my fingers to his lips. “I promise.”

What about Taron?

“He is under house arrest until we decided what to do with him. Jocelyn is still in the process of doing a full reading on him – thoughts, memories, everything – to find out the extent of the damage he has done to us over the years, as well as get any information he might have that could help us.”

And?

“So far, all we have is a name, Ciaran Shea.”

Who is that?

“We don’t know.”

And that’s it? That’s all he’s found out? That can’t be! He has to at least know what Darragh is planning, right?

“We’d hoped so, but Darragh is a smarter man than that. Think about it, why would he tell Taron his plans when he knew that there was always a chance that Taron would be caught and his mind read? He is not someone to take such a careless risk.”

But you have a name?

“Yes,” Alex said, “we have a name. And now I think it’s time for you to go back to sleep. Your eyelids are sinking by the minute.”

Damn. I’d hoped he hadn’t noticed. I’m fine, I lied.

“You’re exhausted and you’re going to sleep. Besides, I have to send Anderson to tell Jocelyn that you woke up, so you’re about to lose your microphone.”

Spoilsport, I grumbled, already feeling the heavy arms of sleep start to pull me under.

He stood up, carefully placing my hand down on the bed and went over to the door.

No, wait, just a few more minutes! I called, only to see him chuckle as he stepped outside.

And sure enough, a few seconds later, Mr Anderson’s ability began to fade as he left the hall, then the building, and I was forced to break our connection. Alex came back inside, trying not to look amused – and failing horribly.

“You see,” he said grinning down at me, as I did my best to scowl at him, “we don’t need Anderson after all, I know exactly what you’d say if you could.” He came back over to the bed leaning over me once again, his hand holding the side of my face. “Now, go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

He thought he was clever, but no way was I letting him win this, no matter how exhausted I was. I closed my eyes, grabbing hold of every ounce of strength I had left, throwing it all in to one final breath, just barely getting out, “I love you.”

It was the faintest breath of a whisper, but even though I couldn’t see him his gasp told me he’d heard. I felt a pair of lips press against my cheek, and a warm drop of moisture fall onto my forehead and roll down into my hair. And the last thing I heard, before surrendering to the inviting call of sleep, was Alex’s voice echo softly, “Is breá liom tú ró, mo lómhara. Tá tú gach rud a dom.”