chapter 15
Laylen
The mark is back. The stupid, annoying mark that’ll never go away, not even with magic. I know because when Aislin removed it the first time, she explained to me that if I died again, it’d come back and there would be no way to take it off.
So, after a few months of thinking, I get to finally have a future, I’m back to where I started, which isn’t that great of a place.
I sometimes get the feeling that I’m the most confused person—or Vampire, anyway—that’s ever roamed the earth. I love Aislin. I really do, but I also love Gemma. Sometimes, I can distinguish between the two loves, and realize that Gemma’s is more of a friendship thing. There are times, though, like now, when I have a hard time.
I hear Gemma and Alex going upstairs, into his room, and it’s followed by a lot of noises that I don’t want to hear. Finally, I get up and shut the door, silencing it. When I return back to the chair, I feel a little bit better, but I’m still distracted. I make myself focus on the book, though, and a few minutes later, I’ve blocked it out.
I’m actually really good at blocking things out. The whispers. The hateful comments. I can remember when I was first turned, just how much I had to block out. Back then, Aislin and Alex were pretty much pod people and did whatever Stephan, and the Keepers, told them to do.
“You can’t be around him,” Stephan had said, right in front of me. “He’s an abomination—evil.”
I wanted to show him just how evil I was. I’d even run my tongue along my teeth, pretending I was hungry, when really, I had no desire to bring out my fangs. Deep down, I really thought—very stupidly thought—that Aislin and Alex would be on my side and that they’d stand up for me, but I was wrong because they stood behind their father while he made me walk away from the Keepers, never letting me return, as he put it.
It hurt and, sometimes, when I’m with Aislin, the pain I felt back then comes back. It’s hard being with her sometimes, but with Gemma, it’s easy—like breathing. With Gemma, there’s no painful history. In fact, her past is even worse than mine, which makes her understand me and allows me to understand her. It’d probably be easy if we were together. No complications. However, she’d always have feelings for Alex and I’d always have them for Aislin, and in the end, I don’t think it’d work out.
Flipping the pages of the Lost Souls’ book, I sigh, wishing I didn’t feel so alone all the time. Wishing I could forget the past. Wishing I wasn’t a goddamn Vampire that was frozen in age, knowing that eventually, I’m going to have to watch everyone die.