The Scions of Shannara

Par finished eating and put the bowl aside. “I wasn’t. But I’m all right now.” He smiled to prove it.

Coll eased down next to him against the roughened tree trunk, settling his solid frame in place, staring out from the comfort of the shade into the midday heat. “I’ve been thinking,” he said, the blocky features crinkling thoughtfully. He seemed reluctant to continue. “I’ve been thinking about what I would do if you decided to go looking for the Sword.”

Par turned to him at once. “Coll, I haven’t even . . .”

“No, Par. Let me finish.” Coll was insistent. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned about being your brother, it’s to try to get the jump on you when it comes to making decisions. Otherwise, you make them first and once they’re made, they might as well be cast in stone!”

He glanced over. “You may recall that we’ve had this discussion before? I keep telling you I know you better than you know yourself. Remember that time a few years back when you fell into the Rappahalladran and almost drowned while we were off in the Duln hunting that silver fox? There wasn’t supposed to be one like it left in the Southland, but that old trapper said he’d seen one and that was enough for you. The Rappahalladran was cresting, it was late spring, and Dad told us not to try a crossing—made us promise not to try. I knew the minute you made that promise that you would break it if you had to. The very minute you made it!”

Par frowned. “Well, I wouldn’t say . . .”

Coll cut him short. “The point is, I can usually tell when you’ve made up your mind about something. And I think Walker was right. I think you’ve made up your mind about going after the Sword of Shannara. You have, haven’t you?”

Par stared at him, surprised.

“Your eyes say you’re going after it, Par,” Coll continued calmly, actually smiling. “Whether it’s out there or not, you’re going after it. I know you. You’re going because you still think you can learn something about your own magic by doing so, because you want to do something fine and noble with it, because you have this little voice inside you whispering that the magic is meant for something. No, no, hold on, now—hear me out.” He held up his hands at Par’s attempt to dispute him. “I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I understand it. But I don’t know if you do or whether you can admit to it. And you have to be able to admit to it because otherwise you won’t ever be at peace with yourself about why you are going. I know I don’t have any magic of my own, but the fact is that in some ways I do understand the problem better than you.”

He paused, somber. “You always look for the challenges no one else wants. That’s part of what’s happening here. You see Walker and Wren walk away from this and right away you want to do just the opposite. That’s the way you are. You couldn’t give it up now if you had to.”

He cocked his head reflectively. “Believe it or not, I have always admired that in you.”

Then he sighed. “I know there are other considerations as well. There’s the matter of the folks, still under confinement back in the Vale, and us with no home, no real place to go, outlaws of a sort. If we abandon this search, this quest Allanon’s shade has given us, where do we go? What possible thing can we do that will change matters more thoroughly than finding the Sword of Shannara? I know there’s that. And I know . . .”

Par interrupted. “You said ‘we.’”

Coll stopped. “What?”

Par was studying him critically. “Just then. You said ‘we.’ Several times. You said, what if ‘we’ abandon this, search and where do ‘we’ go?”

Coll shook his head ruefully. “So I did. I start talking about you and almost before I know it I’m talking about me as well. But that’s exactly the problem, I guess. We’re so close that I sometimes think of us as if we were the same—and we’re not. We’re very different and no more so than in this instance. You have the magic and the chance to learn about it and I don’t. You have the quest and I haven’t. So what should I do if you go, Par?”

Par waited a moment, then said, “Well?”

“Well. After all is said and done, after all the arguments for and against have been laid on the table, I keep coming back to a couple of things.” He shifted so he was facing Par. “First, I’m your brother and I love you. That means I don’t abandon you, even when I’m not sure if I agree with what you’re doing. I’ve told you that before. Second, if you go . . .” He paused.

“You are going, aren’t you?”

There was a long moment of silence. Par did not reply.