The Quantum Games(The Alchemists Academy)

Chapter 3





“Good to see you, too,” Wirt said, the sarcasm dripping from his voice. “I would have thought you’d want to stay roommates so that you can sabotage me for the Quantum Games. It’s the kind of thing you’d do.”


Roland stared at him with obvious anger, but then regained enough control to smile. “Like I’d need to do anything like that to beat you. Not that it would cause any problems if I did, here.”

He had a point there. With Ender Paine in charge of the school, cheating on Roland’s part probably wouldn’t get him into trouble unless he did it incompetently. Which meant that Wirt would have to spend most of the rest of the year on his guard around Roland. That was fine. It wasn’t like he’d ever trusted him, anyway.

Roland stretched. “Plus I need my space. Unlike some people, I actually have stuff with me.”

The dig at Wirt’s lack of wealth was obvious. Wirt didn’t rise to it. Picking a fight wasn’t the answer. Beating Roland in the Quantum Games was.

“Anyway,” Roland said, “I can’t stand around here talking to you all day. I have to get my stuff into my room and start preparing for lessons. Hopefully, I won’t be seeing much of you or Spencer this term, because if I do…”

“Should you really be making threats?” Robert asked him.

Roland bowed, but he exaggerated it, making it clear that he didn’t mean it. “Of course not, Your Highness. You probably have a lot of ruling to be doing… wait, that’s not you, is it? It will never be, either.”

With that, he stalked off, his suitcase following along behind him. Wirt and Robert watched him go.

“What a monumental idiot,” Wirt said once the other boy was gone.

“He just wants to win too,” Robert replied. “Though I’d guess that the way things have turned out with Alana have something to do with his bitterness. “A whole term with her wrapped around his finger, yet now she knows what he is and has gone back to Spencer. She’s far too sensible to fall for the likes of Roland again. It’s one of the reasons she makes such a good advisor for my sister.”

There were plenty of other good reasons, Wirt suspected, starting with Alana’s willingness to put up with the state Priscilla left their shared room in, working up through her ability to help the princess with her unfortunate tendency to attract fairy-tale creatures, and going all the way up to the part where Alana was just about the only person Priscilla would actually listen to when she was in the middle of doing something stupid.

“Alana’s special,” Wirt began. “She’s…”

He couldn’t find the words, because any words he could think of seemed to sell her short. Alana was perfect, but not in the kind of way that made so many girls completely untouchable and unapproachable. She was perfect, but there was something invitingly normal about her too. Something that made Wirt wish that he’d made more of an effort after the first time they’d kissed to be with her.

“I know what she is,” Robert agreed. “Trust me on this, you aren’t the only guy in the school to notice that. The other girls here just aren’t like her.”

“You, too?” Wirt asked. He hadn’t thought of Robert being interested in anyone at the school before. Maybe he’d just assumed that there would be ladies of the court, or handmaidens, or something.

Robert smiled tightly. “There’s no need to sound so surprised about it, you know. After all, courting lovely maidens is part of the official ‘being a proper prince’ thing. Even my father can’t complain about that.”

“But Alana,” Wirt replied.

Robert sighed. “I’ve had a crush on her since we started school. Of course nothing can come of it. I’m just Priscilla’s rather foolish brother to her.”

“The bit where you dress up as a fool probably has something to do with that,” Wirt pointed out.

“But I’ve noticed her. Obviously I’ve noticed her. How could I not? She’s become the most beautiful girl here. Often, the girls try to tone down the way they look, because they think they won’t be taken seriously as potential advisors or powerful figures if they don’t, but Alana is just exquisite.” He paused. “I suppose it’s good that there are so many female practitioners of the magical arts being trained here these days. Female rulers often prefer them. Just look at how close Priscilla is to Alana.”

They’d talked about that before, back when Robert had been practicing jousting. Wirt looked over at him. “You seem very sure that your sister’s going to end up as ruler of your father’s kingdom.”

“Oh, even my father has started to accept what an awful king I would be,” Robert said. “Whereas Priscilla might do well as our queen.”


“And you won’t get anything?”

“I’ll probably get a duchy or two to look after.” Robert shrugged as he said it, as though inheriting large portions of land were the most normal thing in the world. “Frankly, even that sounds like awfully hard work. I suspect that when I’m busy being a duke, I won’t have nearly enough time for being a jester.”

“Have you ever thought about maybe giving the jesting up?” Wirt suggested.

Robert gave him an affronted look. “I’m a prince. I shall jest if I want to. People need to laugh. Though they aren’t taken seriously, jesters play an important part of the social makeup of any kingdom and civilization, as well.”

“Well, maybe you could try to just… I don’t know, incorporate it into everyday life?” Wirt suggested.

Robert nodded. “That’s just what I’ve been trying to do. You’d be amazed at how many of the traditional knightly pursuits can be approached from a suitably foolish standpoint if you just try. What worries me is that as a duke, I might not have the time to try.”

“You could always get an advisor too,” Wirt suggested. He thought about the likely effects of a ruler more interested in jokes than economy theories on his demesne. “In fact, it sounds like it’s very important that you do.”

“That’s just the kind of thing my father has been saying recently,” Robert said with an expression that suggested he’d been working around to this all along. Wirt wasn’t sure if he could cope with the idea of Robert manipulating a conversation so that it ended up where he wanted it. It suggested that the prince might not be quite as foolish as he pretended to be.

“Your father’s making you have an advisor like Priscilla?”

“He says that it doesn’t look like I’ll ever become a sensible knight and ruler on my own, then I’ll just have to have someone do the hard parts for me.”

Something about the word ‘sensible’ brought one obvious candidate to mind. After all, there was only one person Wirt knew who had volunteered for lessons in magical accountancy. “So when are you going to be asking Spencer?”

“Spencer?” Robert repeated. He shook his head. “Wirt, you’ve got it completely wrong. I’m asking you.”

“Me?” Wirt said, barely able to believe it. “You’re really asking me to be your advisor?”

Robert shrugged. “I did think about asking Spencer, but now with him dating Alana, I’m not sure that’s really ideal. It would make things awkward, and in any case, it would mean that mine and Priscilla’s advisors were an item, which would probably make things hugely awkward if we ever had to go to war.”

Wirt’s brow furrowed. “Why would you go to war with Priscilla? She’s your sister.”

“Oh, it’s mostly just family tradition.” Robert shrugged. “It’s always been a very argumentative family, and when you happen to have armies just standing around doing nothing…”

“Well, that doesn’t mean you have to go to war,” Wirt pointed out. “You could… I don’t know, restrict yourself. Just because it’s tradition doesn’t mean you have to follow it, if it isn’t right.”

“You see,” Robert said, “you’re giving me good advice already.”

Wirt shook his head, taking a step back. “Why would you want me for your advisor? I’ve not been here as long as anybody else, I haven’t made it through into the elite class yet, and I don’t know half the things you’re probably meant to know about court etiquette or the kingdoms around us.”

“Oh, I know all that stuff,” Roland said dismissively. “As for you, you’re brave, smart and you tend to do the right thing. What more is there? Plus, everyone says that you might turn out to be more powerful than people think, so that’s an advantage. Plus there’s the big thing…”

“Which is?”

“You’re not with Alana the way Spencer is. Oh, and you’re not Roland. I wouldn’t trust him to advise me on anything. Except how to be more evil, and frankly, I can just copy my father if I want to get good at that.”

Wirt felt himself starting to redden slightly with embarrassment. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

Robert raised an eyebrow. “You don’t? I believe ‘yes, thank you Robert, I’ll do it’ would do nicely. After all, you’re as good a choice as anyone else, and you’re one of the few people here who’s actually prepared to be my friend, what with the way things are. So are you going to accept, or should I try to catch up to Roland?”

Wirt barely had to think about it. Being an advisor to royalty was a big deal in the school, just look at Alana with Priscilla, and it could mean that once he was done there, he had a place in that world carved out for him. As it was, he’d been terrified that he might get to the end of his time at the school and still be left with nowhere he really fit in.

“I’d love to be your advisor, Robert,” he said. “Thanks, this means a lot to me.”

“Good,” Robert said, extending a hand. It was a curiously formal gesture, but then, Wirt guessed that it was a very formal kind of relationship they’d just entered into. He took Robert’s hand and the prince nodded. “Great. Now, since you’re my advisor, would you mind helping me move my things into your room?”

“What?” Wirt asked.

“I was just thinking that with your transportation skills you could get it done quicker.”

“I meant, you’re moving into my room?”

“Well, obviously if you’re going to be advising me, then we should be roommates when I’m here. And you have the space now that Roland has moved out.”

Wirt shook his head wryly. “I should have known that I’d never get to have that room to myself.”

Robert shrugged. “It’s part of Father’s arrangement with the school. Obviously, my sister persuaded them to let us take some limited magical classes last term, but I still have all my extra ones about nobility, weapons, courtly poetry and so on. Now, we’ll just be supplementing those with a few extra ones on working together as ruler and advisor, while you’ll have all the ones you need to learn what you should know about a kingdom. It just makes sense that we should be roommates, doesn’t it?”

Wirt tried to think of a way out of that, but annoyingly, Robert was right. It seemed that he just wasn’t destined to ever have a room there alone. At least the odds were good that Robert wasn’t going to start talking to evil creatures in boxes, though there was a fair chance that Wirt would have to watch out for attempts at jester slapstick if he couldn’t persuade the prince to leave it alone when they were in their room.

“All right,” he said. “Please tell me that you at least didn’t bring anything heavy with you this term.”

“You mean aside from the suit of armor?”