The Invasion of the Tearling

Over lunch, Lily tried to talk to Keith, who asked after her mother and about her plans for the rest of the summer. But Greg was now staring at Keith as well, with the same narrow, suspicious stare. Lily had seen that look many times growing up, on their dog, Henry, who didn’t like to share his chew toys with anyone else. Here was the real pig in a poke: she didn’t belong to herself anymore. She was a doll, a doll that Greg had bought and paid for.

There are ways around that, Maddy whispered, but it did nothing to alleviate Lily’s anxiety. Dr. Davis’s clinic was one thing, but finding a doctor who would perform an abortion … that was a whole different level of illegal. She suddenly remembered the heavily pregnant woman in the clinic, the one who had bled all over the chair. Was it possible that Dr. Davis performed abortions as well? Lily had never heard a whisper of that, but of course she wouldn’t have. That was something you didn’t tell anyone.

Greg was staying at the club to play golf with Mark and a few of their other friends, so Lily went home alone, glad for the quiet emptiness of the backseat. After Phil dropped her off, she made Dorian some broth and took it to the nursery, along with a bottle of water. She had been afraid to feed Dorian anything but broth, chicken and beef, but if Dorian had grown tired of the selection, she didn’t say anything. When Lily entered the nursery, she found Dorian on the floor, stretching, reaching for her toes. Her shirt was soaked with sweat. She must be getting better, to be able to stretch that way, but she still looked very pale.

“Won’t you tear your stitches?” Lily asked.

“Doesn’t matter,” Dorian grunted. She had tied her blonde hair up into messy pigtails, and this made her look more like Maddy than ever. “Can’t afford to be laid up.”

“I’m sure he’d rather you get well first.” Out of deference to Dorian, Lily didn’t use Tear’s name out loud. But she wondered: was the Englishman really so demanding that he would expect Dorian to be up and about two days after being shot? Or did she put this pressure on herself?

“This is a nice nursery,” Dorian remarked. “But I don’t hear any kids running around.”

A wild giggle popped from Lily’s mouth. “I don’t want kids.”

“Me neither.”

“No, I mean, I might want them. But not here.” She gestured toward the house around her. “Not like this. I take pills.”

She had hoped to surprise Dorian, maybe impress her, but Dorian merely nodded and continued with her stretching.

“Have you ever been married?”

“God, no. I’m a dyke.”

Lily recoiled, slightly shocked. “You have sex with women?”

“Sure.”

The nonchalance with which Dorian confessed this stunned Lily into silence. Openly confessing a crime to a stranger, especially a serious crime like homosexuality … that seemed like real freedom. She pointed to the scar on Dorian’s shoulder. “Was that from your tag?”

“Yup. First thing we do is remove that little bastard.”

“How?”

“Can’t tell you,” Dorian replied, panting, as she reached for her toes. “Valuable information if you were ever taken into custody.”

“I wouldn’t tell.”

Dorian smiled grimly. “Everyone tells in the end.”

“I mean I’m trustworthy.”

“Trust me with a secret, then. Where do you hide your pills?”

Lily showed Dorian the loose tile in the corner, the pile of contraband underneath.

“It’s good, well camouflaged. How many hiding places do you have?”

“Just this.”

“That’s no good. You should always have more than one hiding place.”

“I can’t hide anything anywhere else. Greg will find it. He does inspections now. But he never comes in here.”

“Jonathan says you fixed the surveillance in this place.” Dorian gave her a look of frank admiration. “Where’d a wall lady learn to do something like that?”

“My sister. She was good with computers.”

“Well, I’d still get another hiding place. One is never enough.”

“How many do you have?”

“When I was a kid, dozens. But I don’t have any now.” Dorian pushed herself up and reached for the bowl of broth. “In the better world, we won’t need to hide anything.”

“I don’t understand. Is the better world biblical? Are angels going to descend and wipe the earth clean?”

“God, no!” Dorian replied, laughing. “In the better world, no one will need religion.”

“I don’t understand,” Lily repeated.

“Well, why should you? The better world’s not for people like you.”

Lily recoiled, as though she’d been slapped. Dorian didn’t notice; she was busy eating her broth and staring out the glass doors into the backyard. She was waiting, Lily realized now, waiting for the Englishman to come and take her away. Part of her was already gone.

Lily left the nursery, closing the door carefully behind her, and went downstairs. It was all nonsense, she told herself. Tear and his people were probably crazy, the whole lot of them. But all the same, she felt as though they had left her behind.

WHEN KELSEA CAME back to herself, she heard thunder.

She looked up and found the blessed comfort of Carlin’s bookshelves, the long rows of volumes, each in its own place. She reached out to touch the books, but then Lily’s sorrow echoed in her mind, pulling her back across centuries.