Valten’s arms were gentle and warm around her shoulders. His breath fanned her hair as he whispered, “Why were you crying last night?”
“Oh. I wasn’t …” She wanted to say she wasn’t crying, but that would be a lie.
“Are you afraid?”
“A little.” Let him think she was simply afraid. She tightened her arms around him, allowing herself to imprint this moment of warmth and tenderness in her memory forever. He was so solid, so safe. And so far above her as the heir of Hagenheim.
She took a deep breath and plunged in. “I know you said you would marry me when we go back to Hagenheim, but I don’t want you to think you have to marry me.”
“What do you mean?” Valten’s hands went stiff. He pulled away slightly. “I didn’t say I had to marry you.”
Was he angry? She whispered, “I just don’t want you to feel forced to marry me.”
He pulled away even more. “I don’t feel forced. I want to marry you.” But the tone of his voice had an edge to it that didn’t sound like a person in love. She couldn’t see his expression, as it was too dark, but she was fairly sure he was wearing his rock-hard, square-jawed, lowered-brow look.
She let her arms drop and felt the tears well up again behind her eyes. Trying to keep them from flowing, she bent to pick up her blanket. She rolled it up then handed it to Valten, but he grabbed her arm. His voice came from mere inches away. “Are you sad because you don’t want to marry me?”
“Of course not. No, no.” She didn’t want him to feel hurt. Still, this was not the way she wanted him to ask her to marry him. But it was all so foolish of her! He shouldn’t be marrying her at all. He should marry the king’s daughter, or a duke’s daughter, not her.
“We shall speak of this again.” He took her hand and led her and Sieger toward the entrance.
When they were close enough to the entrance that she could see Valten’s face, she noted that he looked grave. “I think we need to stay close to the cave, as we are still near Ruexner’s camp. They may find us here, but if we leave, I think it’s even more likely they will find us. If we stay a day and a night here, we might have a better chance of evading them.”
“Then I shall stay with you also.” Friar Daniel lifted his chin, as if he had just volunteered for a dangerous mission. Which he very well might have if Ruexner caught them.
Gisela didn’t think Valten looked happy, whether about the friar staying with them or about something else, she didn’t know.
Valten took several minutes to make sure no one was around before coming back inside. Gisela and Friar Daniel each went out, in opposite directions, to tend to their personal needs, but he instructed them not to go far. Then Valten took Sieger out for a drink and to fetch water from a small stream they’d passed last night on their way to the cave.
Back inside, Friar Daniel and Gisela were chatting away.
“Do you think God has a different purpose for every person,” Gisela asked, “or is his purpose the same for everyone?”
Friar Daniel wrinkled his forehead, not noticing that Valten was holding out his flask of water until Valten nudged his shoulder.
“Oh, thank you, brother knight.” Friar Daniel smiled up at him from his seat on the cave floor. The man was always smiling.
Friar Daniel went on. “Some things are the same for everyone. God wants us all to strive to grow more like Jesus, to become holy as he is holy, but God also has a specific purpose for each person. How could it not be so? Everyone in a village cannot be a baker, because who would then make the candles or shoe the horses or grow the food? God says we are like a body. ‘The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” ‘ “
“Does the Bible say that?”
“Oh, yes, and it says, ‘Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.’ Just as the villagers are part of a village and have different tasks, we all have tasks to do for the Lord God.” He smiled, looking rather foolish, with his round, cheeky face and the bald circle on his head.
Valten felt a twinge of envy that the friar seemed so sure of his purpose. To envy the man was absurd. But when had Valten ever felt as if he was doing what he was supposed to be doing, that he was fulfilling a purpose? He had once thought his purpose was to train to be the best at jousting and sword fighting and all kinds of combat. But it had been a long time since he’d thought about what God might want him to do. He’d been so focused on being the best, on winning recognition for himself.