That sounded like sage advice. Valten patted Sieger, then opened his saddlebag. Ruexner and his men had plundered it, but there was still one blanket attached to the back of his saddle.
“We shall try to sleep now.” Valten’s voice sounded hollow as it bounced off the walls and sank into the dark hole at the back of the cave, from which it never returned. He directed his voice toward where he thought the friar was standing. “We are greatly indebted to you, Friar, for helping us escape from Ruexner and his men, and for leading us to this cave. I am sorry I do not have the means to reward you for your act of bravery. You will always have a bed and a place at our table at Hagenheim Castle.”
“That is very kind of you, noble knight.”
“And tomorrow you may go on your way and never mention that you met us.”
“Oh, but perhaps I can be of further assistance to you. I have nowhere particular that I need to go.”
He wasn’t sure what further assistance the friar might be offering, but he said to Gisela, “We may as well stay in this cave for a day or two and hope Ruexner and his men search for us elsewhere. My hope is that they will think we’ve taken the road back to Hagenheim.”
“You will need someone to stay with you,” the friar said. “I could not leave an unmarried lord and lady alone together.”
So that was the further assistance he had been talking about. “That is unnecessary. I shall marry the lady as soon as we get back to Hagenheim.”
He expected Gisela to have something to say about his statement, but she was silent. She did let go of his arm.
“That is well and good, my lord, but I believe I shall stay all the same.”
“As you wish, brother friar.”
“I have an extra blanket. Please take it.”
Valten took the friar’s offered blanket and handed Gisela his blanket.
He and Gisela bumped into each other several times as they laid their blankets near each other on the hard floor of the cave. When they lay down, the silence was broken only by the dripping of water in the distance, which echoed as if it was falling down a great hole. He only hoped some light would come in through the entrance in the morning. Otherwise, he wasn’t even sure he knew in which direction was the entrance.
He closed his eyes and tried to sleep.
She couldn’t understand why Valten’s words, I shall marry the lady as soon as we get back to Hagenheim, should make her cry, but she found herself remembering them when she lay down, and the tears flowed into her hairline, chilling her in the dark cave, as she positioned herself facing Valten. At least, she thought she was facing Valten. It was impossible to tell. She wanted to reach out and touch him and make sure he was there, but she also didn’t want him to think she wanted him to take advantage of the darkness and her nearness.
She rarely ever cried anymore, probably because she always told herself she didn’t care, and that stopped them. But she couldn’t say now that she didn’t care.
Was Valten only willing to marry her to save her reputation? The thought of marrying him was wonderful, but it filled her soul with pain to think of him marrying her only out of a sense of duty. She had hoped that he had begun to care for her. But the way he had said the words, so coldly, instead of tenderly, or expressing love for her, stating his intent to Friar Daniel as if she wasn’t even there … It was like a dagger in her heart.
Was she being foolish? Perhaps. She only knew she wanted his undivided love, and she couldn’t bear him marrying her out of pity.
Ava had once told her, “Never let yourself fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you. Or at least don’t tell them you love them, whatever you do.” It had seemed like wise counsel. A person who didn’t love you could use the knowledge of your love against you.
With Friar Daniel here, Valten would have no reason to marry her. She would tell him as soon as possible that she would not hold him to his statement if he was only being chivalrous.
She tried hard not to sniff and wiped her nose with her hand, hoping no one heard her crying, and closed her eyes to sleep.
Chapter
23
Gisela awoke to someone moving beside her. She sucked in a quick breath and backed away. “Ow!” Her head hit something solid behind her.
“Are you all right?” Valten’s voice came from very close by, but now her head was throbbing.
Gisela stifled a moan; she’d apparently hit her head on the wall of the cave.
“Give me your hand.”
Gisela reached out and Valten helped her up. It was disorienting to be in the pitch-black cave. She lost her footing and stumbled face-first against his chest.
He put his arms around her and held her so tight she couldn’t have broken away from him if she’d wanted to. And resting her cheek against his warm chest, she most definitely did not want to.
She sensed and heard, rather than saw, Friar Daniel loading his things on his donkey’s back a few feet away from them.