I’ll never be alone again
They were two tiny sentences, and yet just looking at them made my heart race as fast as it had when I’d found Michael in my kitchen. Somehow, seeing the words “I love him” made me want to freak out. I had loved people before—my mother, Lauren, Andrew—but none of them romantically. Terrell had been the closest I’d ever encountered to The One. He had been handsome, smart, and sweet, God rest his soul. No matter what I chose, I would always regret what happened to him because of me. Still, kind though he was, I never loved him.
Truthfully, loving Michael should have been more obvious to me. He made me laugh. He never seemed to grow tired of me. I didn’t have to act perfect around him. He smelled wonderful. He cooked like a god. His music was amazing. His voice was soothing. When he smiled, I felt the world melting at the edges. Yeah. Pretty obvious.
I slumped back against the headboard, curling my fingers into my hair. Well, now what?
I debated on whether I should distract myself by reading or watching a movie. Another thought occurred to me, so I rolled over and grabbed my cell phone, searching through the numbers for one in particular. It rang about seven times and I almost hung up, but then the voice of an elderly woman with a New Orleans accent wheedled in my ear, making me smile.
“I was wondering when my monthly call was coming.”
“Hi, Mrs. Lebeau.”
“Oh, you stop that, child. Use my first name,” she scolded.
I smiled wider, shaking my head. She never changed. I could still see her in my head even now—her perfectly-styled grey wig, her black-frame bifocals, and her cinnamon skin spotted with freckles across her weathered cheeks. Without her, I’d either still be in New Jersey or dead. I never forgot to call her, but I did forget how informal she liked things between us.
“Sorry, Mrs. Selina. Old habits die hard.”
“Mm-hm. How’ve you been, cher?”
I cleared my throat, trying to keep my voice level. “Oh…y’know. The same. What about you?”
“Same as always,” she chuckled. “Shop’s doing well. Hired me some new blood. They cause as many problems as they solve.”
“I’ll bet.” I hesitated. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“When your husband asked you to marry him…how did you know he was The One? The right one for you?”
“Hmm…that’s a good question. It was so many years ago, but I recall the proposal like it was yesterday. Anthony and I had been together for a whole year before that night. We had just finished dinner and we were leaving the diner. It was raining. I’d forgotten my umbrella, so Tony lent me his jacket. We walked out into the rain. Halfway to the car, the heel of my shoe broke. Now, mind you, these were expensive shoes that he’d saved up a month’s worth of paycheck to buy and the damn pavement ripped it right in half. I started to get upset, and he told me not to worry about it. I asked him why, why wasn’t he upset since he had spent so much on them. He said that it didn’t matter to him one bit, because he was prepared to spend the rest of his life with me and buy me any pair of shoes I could ever want. I’ll never forget that moment. He knelt down, in the middle of a puddle, no less, and pulled out the ring.”
“Weren’t you scared?”
“Child, I was terrified!” She laughed, her voice soft around the edges. “I’d never thought in a million years that he wanted to spend his life with some little girl who owned a candy shop. He was a beat cop. I knew that if I married him, one day I’d lose him, and I did. But the thing is, my dear…his love was worth the risk of losing him. I knew he was the one because as frightened as I was…I still wanted to brave through the pain for him.”
Her words set in, both affirming some things in my mind and stirring others. “Thanks. I needed to hear that.”
“No problem, cher.”
“I’ll talk to you soon.”
“I’ll be here.” I hung up, staring at the lit surface of my phone for a long moment just before dialing another number. She picked up on the second ring.
“Hey,” Lauren said, sounding energetic despite the fact that she had also worked for eight hours. I envied her in that regard. She always seemed bursting with life.
“Didn’t think you’d be awake. You worked a long shift today.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty beat. Listen, I know you have tomorrow off too, and I was wondering if maybe we could hang out. Y’know, you, me, and Lily?”
“Sure. She hasn’t seen you in a little while and I’d love the company.”
“Good.”
She hesitated. “Are you okay? Your voice sounds kind of…hollow.”
“I’m fine. I’ll meet you at IHOP around ten o’clock, okay?”
“Sounds great. See you then.”