The Arctic Incident

“How did you know I was here?”


Artemis steepled his fingers. “There were several clues. One, Butler did not conduct his usual bomb check under the car. Two, he returned without the items he went to fetch. Three, the door was open for several seconds, something no good security man would permit. And four, I detected a slight haze as you entered the vehicle. Elementary, really.”

Holly scowled. “Observant little Mud Boy, aren’t you?”

“I try. Now, Captain Short, if you would be so kind as to tell me why you are here.”

“As if you don’t know.”

Artemis thought for a moment. “Interesting. I would guess that something has happened. Obviously something that I am being held responsible for.” He raised an eyebrow fractionally. An intense expression of emotion for Artemis Fowl. “There are humans trading with the People.”

“Very impressive,” said Holly. “Or it would be, if we didn’t both know that you’re behind it. And if we can’t get the truth out of you, I’m sure your computer files will prove most revealing.”

Artemis closed the laptop’s lid. “Captain. I realize there is no love lost between us, but I don’t have time for this now. It is imperative that you give me a few days to sort out my affairs.”

“No can do, Fowl. There are a few people underground who would like a word.”

Artemis shrugged. “I suppose, after what I did, I can’t really expect any consideration.”

“That’s right. You can’t.”

“Well then,” sighed Artemis. “I don’t suppose I have a choice.”

Holly smiled. “That’s right, Fowl, you don’t.”

“Shall we go?” Artemis’s tone was meek, but his brain was sparking with ideas. Maybe cooperating with the fairies wasn’t such a bad idea. They had certain abilities, after all.

“Why not?” Holly turned to Butler. “Drive south. Stay on the back roads.”

“Tara, I presume. I’ve often wondered where exactly the entrance to E1 was.”

“Keep wondering, Mud Boy,” muttered Holly. “Now sleep. All this deduction is wearing me out.”





CHAPTER 4





FOWL IS FAIR


The Lower Elements, Haven City, Police Plaza, Detention Cell 4


Artemis woke in the LEP interrogation room. He could have been in any police interview office in the world. Same uncomfortable furniture, same old routine.

Root jumped right into it. “Okay, Fowl, start talking.”

Artemis took a moment to get his bearings. Holly and Root were facing him across a low plastic-topped table. A bright bulb shone directly into his face.

“Really, Commander. Is this it? I expected more.”

“Oh, there’s more. Just not for criminals like you.”

Artemis noted that his hands were shackled to the chair.

“You’re not still upset about last year, are you? After all, I won. That is supposed to be that, according to your own Book.”

Root leaned forward, until the tip of his cigar was inches from Artemis’s nose.

“This is an entirely different case, Mud Boy. So don’t give me the innocent act.”

Artemis was unperturbed. “Which one are you? Good cop or bad cop?”

Root laughed heartily, the tip of his cigar drawing patterns in the air.

“Good cop–bad cop! Hate to tell you this, Dorothy, but you ain’t in Kansas anymore.”

The commander loved quoting The Wizard of Oz. Three of his cousins were in the movie.

A figure emerged from the shadows. It had a tail, four legs, two arms, and was holding what looked like a pair of common kitchen plungers.

“Okay, Mud Boy,” said the figure. “Just relax, and this might not hurt too much.”

Foaly attached the suction cups to Artemis’s eyes, and the boy immediately fell unconscious.

“The sedative is in the rubber seals,” explained the centaur. “Gets in through the pores. They never see it coming. Tell me I’m not the cleverest individual in the universe.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Root innocently. “That pixie Koboi is one pretty sharp female.”

Foaly stamped a hoof angrily. “Koboi? Koboi? Those wings of hers are ridiculous. If you ask me, we’re using far too much Koboi technology these days. It’s not good to let one company have all LEP’s business.”

“Unless it’s yours, of course.”

“I’m serious, Julius. I know Opal Koboi from my days at university. She’s not stable. There are Koboi chips in all the new Neutrinos. If those labs go under, all we’d have left are the DNA cannons in Police Plaza and a few cases of electric stun guns.”

Root snorted. “Koboi just upgraded every gun and vehicle in the force. Three times the power, half the heat emission. Better than the last statistics from your lab, Foaly.”

Foaly threaded a set of fiber-optic cables back to the computer.

“Yes, well, maybe if the Council would give me a decent budget . . .”

“Quit your moaning, Foaly. I saw the budget for this machine, it had better do more than unblock the drains.”

Foaly flicked his tail, highly offended.