Tarnished Knight

4





Will was gone.

Lena peered through the window pane, watching rain drum against the ledge outside, with a horrible, twisting sensation in her chest. She knew only the bare facts of what had occurred, but she feared the argument between Blade and Will had sprung from what had occurred between them in the sitting room. That awful moment when she’d almost thrown herself upon Will and he’d rejected her.

The not knowing was a gut-wrenching feeling as she watched and waited to see if Blade would bring Will home. What had she done? Guilt ached within her, almost a match to the stabbing pain of rejection.

A sharp rap sounded at the door to the sitting room.

“Come in,” she called, not even bothering to lift her head from the back of the sofa she slumped across. Everyone was walking on eggshells today at the Warren and Blade had been in a foul mood before he’d gone to find Will and drag him home. A task she didn’t envy him.

The door eased open on silent hinges. “Forgive me for intruding.”

Lena’s head shot up at the smooth, cultured voice. A man’s voice and one she recognised now.

Leo Barrons closed the door behind him with a controlled click, lace dripping from the sleeve of his coat. The lace was the only adornment; the crushed velvet coat was as black as midnight and bore a stern mandarin collar. Only a handsome ruby dangling from his ear bore evidence of his station.

She couldn’t move, the breath catching in her throat even as her eyes searched for signs of familiarity in his expression. Was that a hint of her brother, Charlie, around his eyes and hairline? Or her father?

They stared at each other, the moments stretching out awkwardly. Then Leo crossed the room toward her. “My thralls are taking their inoculations with Honoria. She informed me that you overheard us yesterday.”

Heat bloomed in her cheeks, leaving her tongue-tied. The fury of emotion stole every last wit. What could she say to this man? Her brother. An older brother she’d never known she had.

As if sensing the turmoil of her thoughts, he stood in front of the sofa opposite her and merely stared back, inscrutable thought dancing behind those dark brown eyes.

“I’m sorry the truth upset you,” Leo murmured. “You should know that I’ve borne my own share of sleepless nights since this entire drama unfolded.” He glanced down, at his cupped hands. “I would never have wished this curse upon Charlie if I’d known of the consequences of my actions. You have every right not to forgive me. I'll never forgive myself.” At that he looked up again. “Although I should very much like to know you. You look so like Honor – and yet not. I used to watch you on the edges of the Echelon and wonder what you were like. You seemed so full of life and laughter.”

“Once,” she whispered, drawing her knees up to her chest. “A long time ago.”

Turning aside, he paced to the window and stared out of it. “I have another confession to make, though it loathes me to admit it. However, it seems secrets have a way of coming back and... creating havoc." A bitter smile twitched at his lips. "Your sister begged for my help when you first came to Whitechapel and I turned her away. I was afraid the Echelon would discover our connection and I—I did not understand the straits you were all in. Yet another decision I wish I could change.” This time his lips thinned, faint light staining his profile as he stared out at the rain. “But I can’t. I can only offer my deepest apologies for what you have all suffered. And I know it’s not enough, but I promise I shall do all within my power to make sure you never suffer again.”

"Why are you apologising?"

"You did throw a brick at me," he replied.

Lena pushed herself upright, smoothing out her skirts as her cheeks heated. She ignored the look in his eyes. “Honoria asked for your help?” She must have been desperate for money indeed. At the time, Lena had been so focused on her own misery and her brother’s illness, that she had not perhaps, truly understood what her sister suffered.

“She asked for money when she lost her place of employment. I said no and so she made a thrall contract with Blade.” His voice trailed into silence, then he admitted quietly. “I spent most of my childhood hating Honoria. Perhaps a small part of me was relieved to see her suffer, just a little bit.”

“That’s a terrible thing to say.”

“Yes, I know. A terrible thing to think.” Leo stared into the distance. “The duke has had me for so long that sometimes I fear I begin to think as he does. And that frightens me more than anything else in this world. That he has finally succeeded in remaking me in his image.” He trailed a finger along the window ledge. “It was perhaps the dash of ice water to the face that I needed and so I tried to misdirect Vickers when he was searching for you. I laid several false trails and made sure he didn’t know where you all were. It cannot atone, but… I tried. The idea that she has forgiven me for any of it still astounds me.”

“Why did you hate her?”

Leo gave her a frank look. “Your father never gave a damn about me. But he adored his daughter. They lived beneath the same roof and every time I saw them together, I wanted so badly to trade places with her.”

“But you’re the heir to a duke.”

He gave a faint, slightly bitter laugh. “I would have traded it all to have a father who didn’t see a bastard every time he looked at me. To have a family.”

Lena drew her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them. He looked so lonely for a moment, staring into the distance and playing with the gold ring on his finger. “You have a family,” she said. “You have us.”

She saw immediately that he didn’t believe her. But he nodded slowly. “You are too kind. But you must know that I can’t be the brother you wish me to be.” He held up a hand when he saw her begin to argue. “It’s too dangerous, for all of us. If anyone were to discover my illegitimacy…” His gaze sharpened. “You understand the world I live in, Lena. You know what would happen.”

She swallowed and nodded.

“I can’t be seen to visit here too often,” he continued. “But if there’s ever anything I can do for you--”

“You could take me with you,” she blurted.

The fire crackled in the hearth as he stiffened.

“As your ward,” she continued swiftly. “I could… I could make my debut with you as my guardian.”

“People would ask questions.”

“Then tell them that father saved your life when you were a child. You feel a debt of gratitude to him.”

She thought for a second she had gone too far and cursed herself. In the spur of the moment, she had made a demand that crossed all of the lines. She hardly knew him, after all. What had she been thinking? Leo would say no, for sure.

“Why do you wish to leave your family?” he asked instead, with a curious expression.

“There is nothing here for me,” she replied. Will immediately sprang to mind, the memory of those amber eyes burning her through. Lena’s gaze lowered. She was a fool even to consider that a reason to stay. He’d made his feelings for her quite clear. “I wish to find some of what my sister has found. I want someone to love me. And there is no one here for me.”

Leo sank back down onto the sofa, his hands clasped as he stared at her. “Even with my backing, you would only ever be considered suitable to be a thrall. Your bloodlines aren’t good enough to make a consort contract with.”

A little shiver went down her spine but she stilled it. To be a thrall was not to be powerless and Honoria’s experiences with Blade must have been pleasant enough for her to continue donating her blood to him. Perhaps it wasn’t always awful? perhaps she could learn to tolerate it? “I know. I just… I don’t belong here. All I know is that the last time I was truly happy, I was about to make my debut.”

“Have you spoken of this with your sister?”

“Heavens, no. The idea only came to me just then.” Lena offered him a weak smile. “You do not have to agree. I wouldn’t hold it against you, I just… hoped.”

A sigh crossed his lips. Then he smiled. It changed his entire face; from stern and uncompromising to something almost boyish. He looked so like Charlie in that moment. “You were going to leave me to tell your sister, weren’t you?” he asked dryly.

“Are you accepting?”

“To tell Honoria or to take you as my ward?”

“Well, both perhaps?” She gave him a devilish smile, her heart starting to pound in her ears.

Leo’s eyes narrowed. “People underestimate you, don’t they?”

“Frequently.”

He stood and held a hand out to help her to her feet. “I shall take you as my ward, Lena, because I do owe you. But I’m not volunteering to tell your sister. That is your price to pay.”

His cool hand curled around hers and Lena drew herself to her feet. He was a good deal taller than she and something about his manner indicated that he generally preferred people not to touch him. But Lena was so terribly happy that she couldn’t resist throwing her arms around him and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”

She was going home. The thought of leaving Charlie and Honoria, even the rest of the household was a sudden pang in her chest but she ignored it. She could always visit. And then Will could come home and this whole mess would be fixed. For the first time in months she finally had a future in mind.

“You’re quite welcome,” Leo replied, a little stiffly.

“Come,” she said, taking his hand. “I know someone who would like to meet you. Charlie’s always longed for a brother. And then we can tell Honoria our plans.”

“You can tell Honoria,” Leo corrected. He hesitated. “I don’t think I should meet your brother just yet. I was responsible for his infection, after all.”

“You cannot hide from him forever. Come.”

He let her lead him from the room and Lena smiled to herself as she hurried down the corridor. So many of her friends she had left behind… She could see them again and laugh and gossip over tea and forget this whole, horrendous nightmare. And in doing so, she would fix this problem she had caused between Will and Blade.

Her smile slipped at the thought, a pair of burning amber eyes haunting her. She would forget Will Carver, if it was the last thing she did.

No matter how much a little part of her cringed at the thought.