Tarnished Knight

3





The questions ate at Lena all afternoon and well into the evening, when the rest of the house was stirring. She ate dinner in silence, listening to the laughter and conversation that swirled around her, feeling untouched by all of it. The only person who seemed to notice her distraction was Will. Occasionally their eyes would meet across the table before his gaze dropped back to his plate. A slight frown seemed etched between his thick brows.

Helping Esme to clear up the dishes meant that Honoria had escaped by the time Lena returned to the table. Blade was nowhere to be found either.

Will had tipped his chair back onto one leg, his booted foot against the table leg for balance as he listened to Rip discussing a breach in the walls that encircled Whitechapel with the rest of the men. His gaze locked on her for a moment. Troubled. Assessing.

Then he gave a swift jerk of his head and set the chair legs down on the floor. The rest of the men looked up when he stood, towering over them.

“I’ll be back shortly,” he muttered, as loquacious as ever.

The conversation renewed. Despite the mix of emotions within her, Lena couldn’t help a smile as she followed him to the door. Some things about Will would never change.

The hallway was lit by warm lantern light. It washed over Will’s face, giving his skin a honey-drenched glow. He was so much darker than she. Unfashionably so. And no doubt he’d shaved this morning, but the rasp of thick stubble lined his jaw. Lena couldn’t stop looking at him. Each small part that made him up was the opposite of what she’d always found attractive, and yet on the whole, she couldn’t tear her gaze away.

Except to drop it lower. The rough linen shirt he wore was open at the throat, a gleaming silver claw hanging from a leather thong around his neck. Golden hair curled up to the base of his throat and suddenly a rush of heat went through her.

As if sensing it, Will cut a sharp glance at her, the light highlighting his cheekbones. “They’re in the sittin’ room,” he muttered, cocking his head. “It sounds safe enough for you to interrupt.”

Heat bloomed through her cheeks. Honoria had always struck her as the very embodiment of chastity, until she’d married Blade. It wouldn’t be the first time the pair of them were caught in an embarrassing situation.

“Thank you.” She hesitated. “You’re making me frightened of what I’m going to find out.”

“It ain’t nothin’ bad. But it’ll change… a lot of things.”

“And if she won’t tell me?”

His golden-amber eyes met hers. “Then I will.”

“I’d much rather hear it from you anyway,” Lena hastened to add, reaching out to rest her hand on his arm.

“Ain’t my place.” His nostrils flared and he jerked his hand away. Shoving his hands in his pockets, Will tipped his chin toward the sitting room. “You’d best hurry. Won’t be long before they’re up to no good.”

Gathering herself, Lena took a deep breath and started toward the sitting room. She loved her sister. But Honoria had always thought she knew best. Even if it meant keeping Lena in the dark.

The door to the sitting room was cracked open several inches. Honoria lay on the daybed by the fireplace, her head resting on her husband’s lap. Blade stared into the flames, his mind a million miles away as he gently stroked Honoria’s hair. Honoria looked sleepy, relaxed. The moment was incredibly personal and for a second Lena didn’t want to intrude.

Then Blade looked up and she realised that he’d been aware of her all along.

“May I come in?” Lena asked quietly.

Honoria lifted her head and then pushed into a sitting position, smoothing her skirts. The moment was broken and Lena perched awkwardly on the edge of the armchair facing them as they swiftly rearranged themselves.

Blade stood and stretched. “You want a nightcap, luv?” he asked, looking down at his wife.

Honoria arched a brow, looking between the pair of them. “Why? Do you think I’m going to need it?”

He smiled. Blade had a rather devilish smile when he wanted to. “Do you remember that conversation we ‘ad ‘bout secrets comin’ ‘ome to roost?” As Honoria’s eyes widened, he started toward the door. “I’ll bring the bottle.”

The fire crackled in the silence as he shut the door behind him. Lena’s eyes narrowed. It seemed certain verwulfen men couldn’t keep their mouths shut when they ought to.

“Well?” Honoria took a deep breath, then said crisply. “You have that look on your face. Like you’re afraid to tell me something.”

Despite her tone, Honoria looked nervous.

Lena pressed her clenched hands between her knees. “I was on the roof this morning. I heard everything that was said between you and Barrons.”

She could practically see her sister’s mind racing, trying to remember what had been said.

“I’ll save you some time,” Lena said. “You said that he was responsible for what happened to Charlie.” Her voice broke. “Is it true?”

Honoria sighed. “It’s true. Leo - Barrons - knew that father was working on a vaccination for the craving virus. He switched the disabled virus with a sample of the live one. Father had been directly responsible for his own infection and Leo wanted revenge. He never knew that father injected Charlie with the same vaccination until it was too late.”

“Then why are you helping him?” Lena cried. “Don’t you remember all those months when Charlie was crying in pain because we were trying to help him fight the virus? Charlie won’t even stay in the same room with me because he’s afraid he’ll attack me! How could you?”

Tears gleamed in Honoria’s eyes. “Because Leo’s my brother too.”

The words seemed to roar in her ears. Lena’s mouth moved but nothing came out. Only a small, strangled sound that seemed almost animal in nature.

Leo Barrons? The Duke of Caine’s heir was her brother? “But…how? Why?”

Then Honoria was sitting on the edge of the armchair, wrapping her arms around Lena. Gently she kissed her hair, the way she’d done when Lena was a small girl. “I’m so sorry, Lena. I knew I should have told you but I swore I’d keep it a secret for him. If anyone finds out that Leo is illegitimate… There would be dire consequences for him. The Echelon don’t like to be made a fool of. He would be named a rogue blueblood in the least, like Blade. Stripped of everything he has. Or even executed. One cannot judge the Prince Consort’s mind, but he doesn’t like to be fooled.”

A hot tear slid down Lena’s cheek. Honoria rocked her gently, turning Lena’s face into her shoulder. At the familiar feel of her sister’s arms around her, Lena couldn’t stop the tears. It had been a long time since she’d been held and she was so confused about everything at the moment.

Finally she managed to draw back and wipe her burning eyes. “So that’s why father’s contract with the Duke of Caine ended?”

Honoria nodded. “The duke found out about the affair. He was absolutely furious… I can remember…I-I was in the room. The duke looked at me for so long I thought he was going to smash my toy doll. Then his face changed. The rage washed out of him and he told father to get out and to take mother and I with him before he did something he’d regret. I think I’m the only reason that father survived.”

“And…Leo?” Lena whispered. It felt strange to call him that. She barely knew him, though he had been polite to her when he’d called in that morning.

“Leo was raised as the Duke of Caine’s heir. I don’t believe it was a kindly upbringing.”

A brother she’d never known she had. Lena stared at the clenched fists in her lap. She was still so angry at him for what had happened to Charlie, but it was harder now, knowing the link between them. An older brother.

“Are you very angry with me?” Honoria asked.

“I don’t know what to think,” Lena admitted. “I don’t know what I feel.” Numb mostly. Her mind couldn’t quite fit Barron’s image into what she felt an older brother should be like. “I think I should like to be alone for a little while. To gather my thoughts.”

Honoria stroked her hair. “This information is very dangerous for him, Lena.”

“I’m not about to share it with anyone,” she snapped. “Do you truly think me such a fool?”

“Of course I don’t think you a fool. I just wished for you to know why I withheld the truth.”

Lena nodded. After a moment she heard another soft sigh and then the sound of Honoria’s skirts rustling over the rugs toward the door.

As soon as it shut, she let her head fall into her hands, pressing the heels of her palms against her hot eyes. Of all the things she had expected, this was not one of them.

And Will had known. Blade too. A conspiracy of people who had thought to keep the truth about her own brother from her. She could understand Honoria’s motives, though it irritated her that her sister hadn’t trusted her, and Blade did what Honoria asked, but Will… He could have mentioned it at least, though why she would ever expect his loyalty to lie with her, she didn’t know.

As if the thought summoned him, the door clicked open and he appeared. Lena hurriedly wiped at her eyes. No help for it. She likely looked a mess and the redness wouldn’t fade for a long time from her pale skin.

Tipping her chin up, she stared at him. She was starting to feel something now. Anger. And Will was as good a target as any.

“Why did they tell you?” she demanded. “Why tell you and not me?”

Will slowly pressed the door shut behind him with a click. Each movement was precise, controlled. When he turned, the heat in his amber eyes was almost magnetic.

“Blade tole me,” he replied. “Thought his lordship were Honoria’s lover before he realised the truth. Put him all out of sorts.”

The idea of prim and proper Honoria having an old lover was ludicrous. “Blade didn’t think much of my sister then, did he?”

That made Will’s eyes narrow. “Thought the world of her.” He grimaced. “Men do stupid things when they’re blinded by love.”

“How would you know? You’ve never loved anyone.” Oh yes, she was starting to feel something now.

“Seen enough o’ their foolery to understand it.” Will sank down onto the sofa and leaned back against it, resting his long arms along the top as if he owned it.

“You always watch what people do. It still doesn’t convince me that you understand it.”

“Are you tryin’ to act the fishwife, or am I just the poor sod who’ll bear the brunt o’ your anger?”

Lena’s mouth fell open. Will stared at her with a hard, cold expression on his face and she realised that she had pressed him too far. He wasn’t human and he knew it. Watching how people acted was the only way he could pretend some sort of humanity himself.

“I’m sorry. That was unkind of me.” Shame burned in her throat. “I’m…angry. I shouldn’t take it out on you. You were only trying to help.”

The molten gold in his eyes flared then died back to its normal golden amber. Will looked puzzled as he sat, folding his arms across his chest. “Aye. I’m used to it.”

“Used to what?”

“The blue blood’s collar my kind, Lena. Ain’t the first time I been called less ‘an human.”

Lena swallowed hard. She had never been an unkind girl but then, she’d never had to deal with so much unwanted emotion before. Her life on the edges of the Echelon had been simple, happy. Full of laughter, light and dancing. Girls who giggled at their lessons and silk gowns and fluttering fans. She’d never been required to think too much, or even expected to, and nobody was angry there. It was hardly polite to exhibit such emotions.

“I wish I could go back,” she whispered. “I wish I didn’t have to know all of this…to feel…like this. I’m sorry, Will. I never think of you as less than human.” Slowly, she pushed to her feet, her skirts falling in a circle around her ankles. They swished against her legs like a whispering caress as she crossed toward him.

Will looked up, a wary expression on his rough-hewn face. He froze as she reached out, not quite a flinch, but a sudden stillness that warned her. Don’t touch me, his body said. His eyes however, lit up like molten whisky, a frown drawing his thick eyebrows together.

Lena’s hand hovered by his face. Something in his expression caught in her chest. Almost as though a part of him yearned for her touch.

It was ridiculous. Will had made it quite clear he wanted nothing to do with her. Still…

Lena let out the breath she’d been holding. Did she dare? Perhaps she’d been wrong? She couldn’t read him at all, which was unusual for a man.

Heart pounding in her throat, she reached out and let her fingers trace his cheek. A strangled sound echoed in his throat but he didn’t move. Indeed, the stillness seemed to leech through his entire body, his eyes wild as they raked the room for escape.

Her fingers danced over the rasp of his stubble. A tickling prickle that fascinated her. And he hadn’t said no.

Turning her palm, she cupped his cheek, tilting his face up toward her. Their eyes met, the heat of him burning through her palm. She wanted to run her hands all over his body, to roll in that heat, to capture it. To finally feel as though she wasn’t alone anymore, in a world full of people.

“Lena,” he growled, capturing her wrist.

The touch burned through her. Lena sank toward him, her skirts pooling over his knees as she slid into his lap. Will let her go as if she’d attacked him, his hands coming up between them, helpless, pushing at the air in front of her as if he didn’t dare touch her.

His eyes were wild. Searching hers. “Lena, you got any idea what you’re doin’…?”

“I do.” Certainty burned through her. She was so confused about everything else; she wanted to stop this confusion at least. To understand why he could never stop looking at her, why he avoided her.

“You tryin’ to provoke me?”

She leaned closer, sliding her hands up his broad chest. Will sucked in a sharp breath as if it hurt. His hands caught her wrists again, holding her there.

“I’m going to kiss you,” she whispered.

“F*ck,” he breathed, nostrils flaring as his gaze dropped to her lips.

Hardly the romantic utterances she’d dreamed of. But then Will was nothing like the fairy-tale daydreams she’d amused herself with. He felt so real beneath her touch, so much more vibrant. The heat of his body beneath her was nothing like a dream. Real. Hers. All she had to do was reach out and take it.

And so she did.

Lena brushed her lips against his. Will let out a rough exhale, his breath burning her. She breathed it in, his grip loosening on her wrists and his body sinking back into the cushions of the sofa. Slowly she followed, her hips sliding further until her knees dug into the back of the sofa and she could feel the hard rasp of his belt buckle against her inner thigh. Hands sliding over his shoulders, sinking into the luxurious richness of his hair.

She opened her mouth over his, an expert at kissing. Tasting the firmness of his lips. He didn’t quite reciprocate, but a small, helpless growl sounded in his throat and as he opened his mouth to say something else, she licked at him.

Suddenly his hands were no longer pushing at her. One cupped the thickness of her bustle, riding her hips harder against him. Lena’s eyes opened wide as she felt something else brush against her thigh.

She caught a glimpse of the startled amber of his own eyes, then she fisted her hands in his hair and kissed him open-mouthed, her tongue darting against his, daring him to play back.

The tension in his body radiated through her, hands shaking as they raked over the curves of her dress. Will made another helpless sound.

“Lena--” A gasp. A plea.

She didn’t care. It felt so good. Kissing him, yearning for him to kiss her back.

But he didn’t. His hands fisted in her skirts, bunching the fabric up higher and higher, until her calves were bared. Will wrenched his head away, shaking all over, his eyes burning so brightly that she almost gasped. His gaze raked over her calves, over the dip of her bodice and then her mouth. Both of them breathing hard.

Lena reached for him again—

The world upended. She found herself tumbled onto her back on the sofa, her skirts falling all around her bare legs. Will shot her a stark look and threw himself away from her, shaking with some suppressed emotion.

The mood of the room tightened. Lena caught a fistful of her skirts and sat up, staring at him. This wasn’t what she’d wanted. She felt out of breath and all awry and he looked furious.

Her heart fell in her chest as memory flooded into her. Not once had he kissed her back. He’d held her wrists as if he’d endured the kiss, but he hadn’t retaliated.

Will stared at the wall, his back quivering. She sat very, very still, feeling ever-so-cold without his raging heat surrounding her.

“Will,” she whispered.

He turned on her with a snarl, finger stabbing toward her. “Don’t you ever do that again!”

The stark anger made her flinch back into the sofa. Suddenly she couldn’t bear to have her skirts so tumbled around her. She smoothed them out, hot tears burning behind her eyes. She’d be damned if she’d let him see them but--

“I know we got to live beneath the same roof, but I’d prefer it if you didn’t throw yourself at me,” he said coldly.

Then he was gone, leaving her to stare wordlessly at the door, a silent tear sliding down her burning cheek.


Will ran through the night, body straining and his heart thundering in his chest. He ran for hours over the rooftops, until he could feel his muscles quivering and exertion start to take its toll. It still wasn’t enough. He was starting to wonder if it ever would be.

Especially now that he knew just how she tasted, just how she felt, writhing on his lap, her arms sliding around him--

Will groaned. The city roofline surrounded him, chimneys lurking in the still night and the vestiges of Whitechapel far behind him as he staggered to a halt. Not the place for a man like him to collapse and it was clear he’d pushed himself into the edges of the fury that afflicted his kind. Exhaustion throbbed through him, dulling the barest edges of his temper.

He could taste her still. Burning on his lips. Tempting him, daring him. The feel of her tongue branded on his own. But worse than that, the feel of her hand sliding over his jaw in the faintest of caresses. A sweet touch, almost more alluring than the taste of her mouth. A touch that made him hunger so damned much, for something he could never have.

Will gave a helpless groan and sank to his knees. What the hell had she been thinking? Pushing him like that, kissing him, not knowing how much it hurt inside to push her away. He hadn’t been thinking. So shocked at the sensation of her mouth on his and her body nestled in his lap that he’d lost hold of himself, just for a minute. The next thing he knew, he’d had his hand on her arse, urging her against him, his cock aching like a f*cking battering ram in his breeches. It would have been so easy to press her back down into the sofa and sheathe his aching flesh inside her wet heat.

So easy…

So dangerous.

Will let out a sob, raking his hand through his hair as he rocked back and forth. It took long minutes before the fury ebbed out of him, enough for him to stagger to his feet and look toward Whitechapel.

For the first time in his life, he didn’t want to go back.


Will clutched the bottle of whiskey to his chest and stared out into the dark night, trying to ignore the faint spatter of icy rain. The warren was silent beneath him, a fact he was furiously aware of. He couldn’t face anyone right now, not even Blade.

Swilling another mouthful of whiskey, he felt it burn all the way through him with the echo of a long ago memory of home. His true home, where he’d been born. Visions danced through his mind; his da swinging him up onto broad shoulders as they examined the mist over the heather-clad valleys, laughing at his sister as she chased him across the yard, the look on the stranger’s fevered face as he launched himself at Will, those blunt, yellowed teeth ripping at his throat… Of that he remembered it all too well.

This was home now. For so many years he’d known nothing of kindness, and when Blade first brought him here he’d mistrusted everyone and everything, Blade most of all. He’d been but a lad, but some memories were branded on his soul. You didn’t ask for anything, because that was when they whipped you. You didn’t beg for more food, because they laughed and sneered at you. And you didn’t ever expect a kind touch, a gentle hand cupping your face, a kiss…

His fingers shook around the bottle. For a moment he wanted it so much that he ached. A different kind of aching to the mess Lena’s careless kiss left him in. An ache for something more.

He’d thought he’d found it once. The first few times Blade had come to him after taking him as a thrall, there’d been a sense of closeness there. Will hadn’t understood it. The blood-drinking roused his body, his own blood, but the ache had been fiercer than that. The feel of someone else touching him. Someone who cared for him.

He’d reached for Blade then, a horrible moment that left him merely shamed and embarrassed. Blade had been shocked but not cruel.

“Not like that, lad. Not us. You’ll understand, one day.”

And now he understood and the realisation was a torment of its own. Because he couldn't have her. Not ever.

He lifted the whiskey bottle and drained it dry. The liquor burned through him but it only left him feeling hollow and in need of a piss. He didn’t understand how people got soaked. The worst liquor ever did was make him thirsty.

A whisper of sound caught his ear, far below. A muttered conversation in the dark. He could barely make out the words until he heard one that made his entire body still.

“…Lena…”

Silence ruled, broken only by a dog’s lonely bark several streets over. Will lowered the bottle, his head cocked to listen. The voice had been a woman, but at that pitch he didn’t know if it was Honoria or Esme.

“’Ush, now, luv.” That voice he recognised. Blade. Which meant the woman was Honoria. “I’ll keep an eye on ‘em. Will’s a good lad…” More words, lost to distance.

They were talking about him. And Lena. Will couldn’t move. He wanted so desperately to hear what they were speaking about.

“But are you sure he won’t hurt her?” Honoria murmured. “You saw him tonight, when he barrelled out of here. You saw her. I know exactly what happened in that room, Blade, what if--”

“It won't.”

“Blade,” Honoria’s voice grew stronger. “Can you promise me that he won’t hurt her? She’s my sister… Do you trust him with her? I know he wouldn’t want to hurt her but what if…?”

Will strained to listen, certain that his master would reply. The moment stretched out. Longer. Longer still.

And there was no sound.

“Aye,” Blade let out a long breath. “I’ll speak to ‘im. He’s been on edge of late. Maybe it were best if ‘e found somewhere else, for a time--”

For the second time in his life, Will knew what it was not to be wanted. The betrayal stabbed at him with sharp, greedy fingers, making it hard to breathe. Harder still to keep hold of the bottle. It slipped from his fingers, sliding over the steep pitch of the roof and vanishing. A second later the smash of broken glass tore the silence of the night apart.

The dog started barking again, others joining it. Will couldn’t move. He felt even emptier, as if Blade’s words had carved something else from within him. His sense of worth, of place, was rapidly narrowing.

Find somewhere else… He knew the truth behind those words. Not wanted. Not here. In case he put his hands on Lena and hurt her.

You don’t get to touch, you little cur. A foot kicking through the cage at him burned in his memory.

But he’d trusted Blade. Blade had bought him from the Sturrett’s and given him his freedom. And now Blade didn’t trust him.

Somehow he found his feet, moving automatically. He didn’t even try to hide the sound of his footsteps across the roof. A golden light had flooded the yard below as someone peered out through the window to see where the broken glass had come from.

Will paused on the edge of the gable, looking down at Blade, where he peered through the window. Their eyes locked on each other and a shiver of dark knowledge went through his master’s eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but Will beat him to it.

“I’ll find somewhere else to live,” he said quietly, then stepped off the edge of the roof and landed in the cold yard below.