"You don't have anything in the morning," Father declared.
I turned to face him, raising an eyebrow. "I have sword dance training. The training temple is reopening tomorrow," I reminded.
"You're correct, but there's been a change." He set his chopsticks on the table, using a napkin to wipe his mouth.
"Change?" James questioned, his calculative gaze met mine and we exchanged a look.
I didn't like where this was heading and the pit of my stomach that suddenly dropped in fear only made my suspicions worse.
"Hakua has been transferred to use her skills at another training temple at the outskirts of Homatomashi. Unless you'd like to make the two and a half hour train ride up there every morning, there will be no way for you to continue your sword training. The trains stop working by ten in the morning and run again from four to six."
I couldn't believe what I just heard, blinking a few times as my anger began to boil inside me.
"Konashi! You said you would decline the transfer! You promised me you wouldn't let them move Hakua!" Mother snapped, rising to her feet.
I knew she was speaking English for the sake of James who looked just as upset.
"Hakua is one of the best trainers here and she's been training Crim for years. Mr. Arashi, this has to be a mistake," James insisted.
He shook his head. "It's not a mistake. It isn't fair that more skilled individuals living in the outskirts are losing training from one of our own because of ‘Little Crim.’ What purpose will sword dancing serve her? She isn't a shifter and none of our family weaponry can be passed down to her. Why waste talent like that? The other Council members have been waiting for my approval for months now and I finally decided to answer and sanction the move," Father boasted.
My hands trembled in anger as I sat there in shock. Hakua...
"Call her and tell her to come back," Mother ordered.
"There’s no service there and I won't be going back on my word anyways. The decision is finalized and the contract has been signed," Father replied.
"You forced her to sign it," I whispered. I could feel Mother's and James' eyes on me, the anger that seethed off those six words was new even to me.
Sure, I got mad sometimes. But there was a big difference between that and what I was feeling now. There was regular anger over a simple argument or disagreement and there was this level of fury. If I was blessed with even a pinch of magic I bet the temple would be on fire from my rage alone and I'd make sure my father was included in the blaze.
"She had a decision. Continue her work as an instructor or the position would go to someone else," he countered.
"That's her FAMILY business and main income! Of course she wouldn't refuse. You did this on fucking purpose!" I swore, rising to my feet.
"Crimson Arashi, don't you dare yell at me again," he roared; his eyes glowed a slight gold because of his magic that I could feel in the air. Just because I was human didn't mean I couldn't sense it.
"OR WHAT? You'll punish my twenty-two-year-old ass? Aren't you satisfied? PROUD even? My whole entire life, you've done nothing to make me happy. I've always tried extra hard to meet your expectations, but NOTHING has worked. Not once have you said 'well done, Crimson' or 'I'm proud of you, Crimson!' I don't even understand why I come here anymore. I'm clearly not welcome." I laughed, running my hands through my hair.
He stood up, opening his mouth to speak, but I didn't let him, walking right up into his personal space.
"Don't waste your breath. I know you hate me. You despise my very existence. You know what? I'm done. I'm fucking tired of trying to please you. All of my efforts to prove my worth to you has just been a waste of energy. I'll never be worth anything to you, or to anyone in this damn fucking shrine or your silly Council of oh so powerful men. There's not an ounce of love for me in your heart. Doesn't take a genius to figure that out. So don't bother. I'll stop reminding you of my existence by not coming here anymore. Even if I die, please, don't bury me here with our ancestors. I'd only continue to bring them disgrace as I have to you," I whispered through clenched teeth, blinking back tears as I stared into his eyes.
I sighed and began to walk toward the exit.
"Crimson!" Mother called out, but I continued, reaching the stairs that led to my father's office. My feet stopped in their tracks as my body seemed to pulse with a weird sensation.
I pressed my clenched fist to my chest, closing my eyes for a few seconds to ignore the weird ache that continued to pulse through me. After a minute it stopped, allowing me to breathe. What the fuck was that?
"Crimson."
I turned my head to see James leaving the dining room, coming over to where I stood.
"I'm fine. I'm gonna head over to the bar. You finish dinner. Sorry for the family drama. It won't happen again," I promised, giving him a small smile.
"I'll come with you. Let me get my—"
"James. After you've finished dinner, I have a few things to discuss with you." My father's hard voice entered the hall as he approached us. His black eyes narrowed at me and glanced up at the stairs.
I rolled my eyes, remembering him scolding me for the millionth time about how he didn't want me entering his sacred office whenever he saw me approach the staircase. Didn't need today to be a million and one.
"I'll go first," I pressed, giving James a quick hug. I turned to walk away but he grabbed my arm, stopping me. I turned to face him.
"James," I whispered, knowing my father was watching our exchange.
"Just...be safe okay? I'll leave as soon as the meeting is over. I'll call you when I'm close," he assured.
I could see the internal dilemma he was facing reflected in his red eyes. I knew that wasn't what he wanted to say, but because of my father’s presence, someone who would determine his future, he once again remained silent on the matter. That only made me angrier and the mere thought he couldn't be open about our relationship in front of my family made me want to scream.
"Ya. I'll be fine. Always have been." I pulled my arm out of his grasp. I glared at my father and noticed my mom making her way down the hall toward us. Her eyes were filled with tears and I knew if I didn't leave now, I wouldn't be able to run away from here.
I took a final glance up the stairs, before turning around and heading for the entrance. It took me two seconds to slide on my combat boots and then I rushed out the door into the cool night breeze.
I finally took a deep breath when I was off the property and on the streets of Nokamato, on my way home. My walk soon turned into a run, needing an outlet for all the anger that had built up inside me.
I hadn't realized where I was until my feet came to a stop and I hunched over to catch my breath, tears pooling in my eyes as I began to sob.
The same place where I had bumped into Storm Yuna was where I now stood, the moonlight gracing me with its soft glow as the cool breeze passed by as if comforting me.
My hands raked through my hair in frustration as tears continued to roll down my cheeks.
Why? Why can't I be loved or accepted? I've lived a life of solitude. No friends by my side, only bullies to make my life worse. My family only added to my despair with a mom who can't defend me without getting in trouble with the man who hates me for being human. I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask to be brought into this world. Why? Why am I here? Why do my ancestors watch while everything I care about is taken from me, one after another?
Hakua...Hakua...why didn't you tell me? You knew it would shatter my heart, but I would have wanted to hear it from you rather than him. Instead, I had to witness the sheer happiness that shone in his eyes at my shock and rage.