“Forget it,” he ground out. “She’s trying to distract you.”
I could sense the anger coming off him in waves. He wanted to go, to turn away from this and find another solution. But that anger only lasted for a moment. As he stared at me, his emotions took a different turn. He sighed, clearly resolved to do what he had to in order to keep me safe, no matter what that meant.
Just like he said he would.
Crouching down, his elbows pressed against his knees, he settled himself face to face with Satina.
“Satina,” he started, looking her directly in the eye. “I know you think this is about Charisse or about me using you. And I can’t blame you for that. I did use you. I used you in a way that was completely and utterly wrong. You were a beautiful girl. You were kind and warm. You trusted people, and all you wanted was to be accepted, to be loved. I took advantage of that. I twisted it and used it for my own perverse pleasure. I broke that light inside of you. I turned it into something else. I drove you to do what you did, and I didn’t realize that before. Even standing outside that door just now, I didn’t fully understand how much I hurt you. And I suppose that’s because I never let anyone in. When you knew me, I had a wall up. My parents, they weren’t good people. They didn’t trust anyone, least of all each other. And they led me by example. I learned how to treat women by watching the way my father treated my mother. And while that isn’t an excuse, I think I at least owe you the explanation.”
He bit his lip and held his gaze steady on Satina. “I didn’t deserve you. I didn’t deserve to be looked at the way you looked at me. I was unworthy. But I didn’t realize what it meant to open yourself up to someone. No one had ever been behind the walls I built up around my heart.” He blinked hard and peeked over at me. “Now someone has. Now I do understand. Now I realize you are right. In a sense, I am the one who killed you. In a sense, I did push you, even if not literally. And for that, I am truly and deeply sorry.”
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” Satina asked, eyeing him again. Her face seemed to light up. Her body seemed to loosen, as though it had been freed of a weight it had carried for far too long. “God above, you’re really serious. You have changed.” She looked over at me. “I suppose the Supplicant was right … it is different this time.”
An uneasy sensation started in the pit of my stomach. I had hoped she would come around … but that was too easy. She was up to something.
She touched Abram’s cheek with a shackled hand and stared softly into his eyes. “I will help you. I’ll do everything I can. The mystery beast was in the room adjacent to us. Bring me something he touched. I can use that to identify his energy signature and track it.”
Abram stood.
Satina grabbed his leg. “This is a complicated spell, Abram. It requires much magic, much energy. I need—”
“I know what you need,” he said sternly, and they both looked at me again. “I’m not comfortable with—”
“No,” I answered, realizing what they were talking about. Regardless of my distrust for her, this was our only chance. We would just have to be careful. “If my blood is what it takes, then that’s what she’ll get.”
My eyes darted from one of them to the other. They looked different to me now. They weren’t the strapping supernatural monster and the suicidal witch who made him that way. They were a man and a woman with a complicated history. They made mistakes, and now they were trying to make it right. Maybe she really was being sincere …
Walking toward her, I ran my nail file over my palm again, irritating the cut enough to draw blood again.
Satina gasped, shuddering just a little. Lord, my homemade heart juice must really be powerful stuff. I watched the blood pool in my hand as I moved toward the Conduit. This was a calculated risk. Hesistantly, I glanced back at Abram.
He gave a firm nod. “The chains will hold, and I’m not unchaining her until this is over.”
She scowled a bit. “Still don’t trust me?”
He frowned. “Do you trust me?”
She nodded slowly. “Fair enough.” She tilted her head to one side. “Maybe in time,” she added. “Let’s just get this done so we can all move on.”
Trying to step carefully, I somehow managed to trip over my own feet. Leave it to a former model to traipse around in five inch heels like a pro but turn into a world class klutz once you get her in a pair of sneakers.
I fumbled, stopping myself from falling.
But the blood …
The blood in my hand spilled into the open air. I couldn’t stop it before it splattered into the ground. A huge golden ring of energy shot out circularly around us, spreading out far and wide, like a wave that eventually disappeared in the distance.
“Oh God …” I muttered, remembering what Abram said.
If just a drop of my blood was akin to a beacon meant to lead my killer to me, then I had just sent out a signal flare.
Chapter 23