Maia glanced at Cole, saw the misery and despair in his eyes as he crouched against the wall, watching his little brother rage at things neither of them could control.
“Stop it right this minute!” She used her most authoritative voice. It startled both men so that Jase dropped his arms to his sides and stood breathing heavily, small droplets of blood trickling down his knuckles to the floor. She moved into the barn, marched straight over to Jase, and took his hands in hers to prevent further action.
“He took your mother, and he took your childhood, Jase. You have a right to be angry about that,” she said, turning his bloodied, swollen hands over to examine them much more closely. “But doing this to yourself is just plain stupid.”
“Yeah, well you don’t have a father who murdered and ran drugs and abused animals and every other thing he could get his hands on,” Jase snapped, snatching his hands away. “He didn’t beat you and brand you and humiliate you, and he didn’t kill your mother.”
Cole stood up, a flow of strength and power, instantly protective of Maia.
She didn’t look at him as she stepped closer to them. “Jase,” she kept her voice low and even. “You persist in thinking Brett Steele was normal. He was ill. I don’t know if something made him that way, or whether he just deteriorated into his sickness. Power can corrupt. He was a genius. You both know that, and you inherited his brains and his strengths. He wasn’t all bad. There were good traits in him. He can only destroy your life if you let him.”
“What if I’m like him? I could be like him,” Jase said.
Of course he would have the same fears as Cole. She glanced at the older man, and he immediately put his hand on Jase’s shoulder.
“I thought the same thing, Jase,” Cole admitted. “About me, about you. Hell, we share the same genetics. But you’re nothing like him, even less so than I am. Look how good you are with animals. And you hit the books instead of turning out to be the resident bad boy. I’d put your sanity and your character ahead of those of anyone I know.”
“What he did is no reflection whatsoever on you as a human being, Jase. You have your own life and your own responsibility to live your life in the best way that you can. Of course your childhood will impact your adult life, but you’re aware of it and can take steps to counter any demons that arise. You’re strong and you’re smart and you can handle anything that comes your way.”
Jase shook his head, tears glittering in his eyes, spilling over to run down his cheeks. His chest heaved, and his shoulders shook. “I don’t think I can ever be okay again, Maia.”
She gathered him into her arms, pressing his face into her shoulder while she held him. The teenager sobbed as if his heart was breaking. She looked desperately up at Cole.
Cole swept his arms around both of them. “We’re going to make it, Jase,” he reassured, rubbing the boy’s neck, crowding close so Jase would feel his determination and strength. “We’re going to be all right together.”
chapter
14
“IT’S MIDNIGHT, officially Christmas,” Maia announced. She rubbed the top of Jase’s head as she set a tall glass of cider on the coffee table in front of him. “Merry Christmas.”
Jase was much calmer, sitting in the living room and staring at the tall tree. His mother’s ornaments adorned the tree, and he stared at the alligator. Maia twisted the tail and watched the jaws open and close around a strand of popcorn. She was rewarded with a faint smile from Jase.
“When do we get to open gifts?” he asked. His voice was gruff, husky with leftover tears, but he had his emotions back under control.
“Usually Christmas morning,” Maia answered, curling up on the couch beside Cole. “Although some people open them on Christmas Eve.” She leaned over to check the ice packs she’d placed on his hands. “Keep those there. It’s a wonder you didn’t break all your bones.”
“I can’t exactly drink my cider if I’ve got this stuff wrapped around my hands,” Jase pointed out. There was a flash of a smile in the look he exchanged with Cole.
“Then you can just stare at the cider,” Maia said, “but you keep your hands in those wraps. You’re lucky I didn’t chase you around the house with a needle to give you a tetanus shot at the very least.”
“You did,” Jase reminded her. “Cole had to save me. You threatened to numb my knuckles too or something equally scary.” He looked at his older brother. “Do you do that a lot? Go undercover and have guns pointed at you?”
“Yes.” Cole refused to lie or gloss over his job to Jase.
“Have you ever been shot?”
“Twice, and I was stabbed a couple of times. Just like when Maia works with the animals, she has to watch herself, never forget even for a moment what she’s doing; my job is the same. I can never get careless.”
“How did you get all those agents here?”