Professor Gargoyle

NINE





That night after dinner, Robert’s mother did something she hadn’t done in a long time: She went upstairs, put on some dressy clothes, and prepared for an evening on the town. It was Parent-Teacher Night, and she’d been looking forward to it all week.

“How do I look?” she asked. She was wearing a fancy black dress and fake pearls. She’d even put on makeup. Robert was sitting on the couch, watching television.

“You know the president’s not going to be there, right?” he asked.

Her shoulders slumped. “I thought I looked nice.”

“You do,” he said quickly. “I’m sorry.”

“Well, I better get going. Don’t want to be late. I should be home around nine or so. Maybe later. Don’t spend all night watching TV, okay?”

That won’t be a problem, he thought.

As soon as she drove away, Robert grabbed his backpack and proceeded to follow her on foot.

Earlier that afternoon, Karina had explained that tonight was the best possible time to retrieve Pip and Squeak. If Goyle was planning to “dispose” of them, there wasn’t a minute to waste. And thanks to Parent-Teacher Night, the doors of Lovecraft Middle School would be open long after dark. It was a rare opportunity to sneak into a classroom without being discovered.

Robert jogged the eight blocks to the school in just a few minutes. He needed to be quick. He wanted to rescue Pip and Squeak and get home before his mother returned, so she’d never know he snuck out.

When he arrived at the school, he saw dozens of parents walking into the main entrance. The orientation would take place in the central auditorium, far from the east wing of the second floor and Professor Goyle’s classroom.

Karina was waiting where they’d agreed to meet, just inside the entrance to the east wing. Here, the hallway lights were dimmed. All of the classrooms were dark.

“Are you ready?” she asked.

“I guess,” he said. “Have you seen anyone?”

“The coast is clear. Come on.”

He followed along, wondering how a girl who claimed to be afraid of spiders could be so fearless about breaking into a teacher’s classroom. He’d never met anyone quite like Karina Ortiz.

They climbed the stairs to the second floor and arrived at the entrance to Room 213. For a brief moment, Robert feared the door might be locked. But when he tried the knob, it turned easily in his grip.

The classroom seemed eerie in the dark. All those empty desks. The grinning skeleton at the front of the classroom. But Robert didn’t dare turn on the lights.

“Where are they?” Karina asked.

Robert led her to the back of the classroom, past the tropical fish and the lizards, until he arrived at the tank containing Pip and Squeak. His pets jumped up, delighted, pressing their paws against the glass. Robert tried to remove the lid but it wouldn’t budge.

“Is it locked?” Karina asked.

“I think it’s stuck.”

He felt under the lid, looking for some kind of button or latch. But the metal had a fine smooth edge all the way around. Robert grabbed and pulled as hard as he could. It was like trying to pry open a can of tuna fish with his bare hands. Impossible.

Next, he tried lifting the aquarium off the shelf. It weighed probably twenty pounds. He could carry it out of the school if he had to. He could pry off the lid when he got home, maybe use a screwdriver …

“Listen!” Karina whispered. “Someone’s coming!”

Robert heard the footsteps, too. Out in the hallway and approaching fast. He and Karina darted around the classroom, looking for a place to hide. Under the teacher’s desk? Behind the skeleton?

“Supply closet!” Karina said.

Robert ran to the open door on the side of the classroom. It was here that Goyle stored his extra beakers and test tubes and chemistry supplies. Karina entered first and it didn’t look like there was enough room for both of them.

“I won’t fit,” Robert said.

“Just get in here!”

He pulled the door closed just as the classroom overhead lights flickered on. Somehow they both fit inside.

“Shhh,” Karina whispered. “Don’t move.”

Robert was too scared to reply. He heard about a party game called Seven Minutes in Heaven, in which a boy and a girl would go into a closet for seven minutes and … well, he wasn’t exactly sure what they did. Hug? Kiss? He wondered if it was something like this.

The closet door was slightly ajar, allowing them a narrow view into the classroom. Professor Goyle was carrying a jug of water and a sack of food pellets. He brought them to the back of the classroom and proceeded to feed all the animals. He hummed a strange little melody as he worked—then stopped when he reached the tank containing Pip and Squeak.

“What’s that? You’re hungry, too? Ha!” Goyle laughed. “You’re being punished for trying to escape. For sneaking into that boy’s backpack. What if an adult had seen you? Can you imagine the consequences? This whole plan, everything Master has designed, it would all come tumbling down! Shub-niggurath! K’hala dorsath f’ah!”

Robert wasn’t sure he’d heard that last part correctly. Was Goyle simply mumbling? The words had sounded clear, yet they were in a language that was wholly unfamiliar.

“Master wants to see you both in the morning. Until then he’s asked me to give you a message.”

Goyle reached into the adjacent tank and removed a brown-and-white hamster by the nape of its neck. “Watch carefully,” he told Pip and Squeak. “This is what will happen if you attempt another escape.”

Goyle raised the hamster high above his head. The animal swung its paws wildly, desperate to scramble away, but Goyle’s grip was too strong. He opened his mouth, as though threatening to eat the animal.

It was just a dumb, cruel stunt, Robert thought. The same kind of mean prank that Glenn Torkells seemed to enjoy. Goyle was just another bully.

Then there was a hideous snapping sound, and the bottom half of Goyle’s jaw collapsed. It fell open like the mouth of a ventriloquist’s dummy, revealing sharp white fangs and a gaping black maw. Goyle lowered the hamster between his lips and swallowed it whole.

Robert felt dizzy, like he was going to pass out. The walls of the closet were spinning. He grabbed a shelf to steady himself.

“Stay calm,” Karina whispered. “Don’t make a sound.”

Goyle stroked the top of his chest, coaxing the hamster down his digestive tract. Then he uncapped the jug of water, took a long drink, and burped.

“Let that be a warning to you,” he told Pip and Squeak. “I’ll bring you to see Master in the morning.”

A minute later, the classroom went dark again and Robert heard Goyle close the door and leave.



“What just happened?” he whispered.

“We nearly got caught is what happened,” Karina said. “We’re lucky.”

“Do you think he’s really gone?”

“It’s fine. Get us out of here.”

Robert opened the door. His brain was screaming for him to run but he couldn’t leave without Pip and Squeak. Not after what he’d just seen.

“You’ll have to carry the aquarium,” Karina said.

“Too heavy,” Robert said. “If Goyle sees us? And chases us? Forget it.”

He would have to take more drastic measures. He opened the classroom door and peered into the hallway. Still empty. There was no sign of Goyle, and all the parents and teachers were in the auditorium on the far side of the school.

Robert returned to the back of the classroom and unzipped his backpack. “Get ready to run,” he told Karina.

“What are you going to do?”

He tapped on the side of the aquarium. Pip and Squeak stood up against the glass, like they were trying to smell his fingertips. “Hang on tight, guys. There’s only one way to get you out of here, but it’s going to be a little bumpy.”

Robert tilted the aquarium on one side and let it topple off the shelf, landing with a crash. Glass shards and wood shavings exploded in all directions. Pip and Squeak leapt from the blast and landed with a tumble inside Robert’s backpack.

“Let’s go!” Karina cried.

They raced out of the classroom, stopping just long enough to close the door behind them. No one was chasing them, but Robert wasn’t taking any chances. He ran like a madman down the hallway, down the stairwell, and out the door of the east entrance. He looked back and saw Karina hesitating inside the school.

“What are you waiting for?” he asked. “Come on!”

“I’m going the other way,” she said, pointing down the hallway toward the west entrance. “I live on the other side of town.”

“What are we going to do about Goyle?”

“We can talk tomorrow. Meet me in the attic.”

“Be careful,” he said. “Make sure no one sees you.”

Robert ran all the way home. There was so much to think about, so much he didn’t understand. Why was Professor Goyle speaking to Pip and Squeak like they could actually understand him? Where had they escaped from? Who was this Master he kept talking about? None of it made any sense.

When he returned home, he fixed Pip and Squeak a big dinner of roasted ham, raisin bran, celery, grapes, and a half dozen hard pretzels. They tore through the food in minutes, and then Robert ushered them into their nest and put them to bed.

Ten minutes later, his mother’s car pulled into the driveway. She entered the house looking exhilarated, like she’d just returned from the greatest party of her life.

“Unbelievable!” she exclaimed. “Did you know you can start taking Mandarin Chinese in eighth grade? Did you know Mr. Loomis has a master’s degree from Yale University? Did you know the school was built from all these different recycled materials?”

“You liked it?” Robert asked.

She swept him up in her arms. “I loved it, sweetie. It’s such a wonderful school. I’m so happy for you. Happy for us.” Her smile faltered. “Though it’s a real shame about that missing girl, Sylvia Price. All the parents were talking about the investigation. Did you know her?”

“Not really.”

“I hope they find her soon. I can’t imagine what her family’s going through. Your science teacher—I think his name was Mr. Goyle? He told us all not to worry. He said he was confident Sylvia would come home.”

At the mention of Goyle, Robert remembered how his teacher had unhinged his jaw like a boa constrictor and then pushed a live hamster into his mouth.

“He seemed nice,” Robert’s mother added.