Professor Gargoyle

SEVEN





He ran all the way home, bolted upstairs to his bedroom, kicked off his sneakers, lay down on his bed, and gently unzipped his backpack.

The two heads emerged—first one, then the other—and inquisitively sniffed the bedroom air. “Come on out, little guys,” he said. “You’re totally safe here. This is my room. No jerks allowed.”

The rats stepped cautiously onto the blankets. Robert petted their necks and soon they were purring again, happy to be lounging on his bed.

“Now first things first,” he said. “You need a name.”

He’d considered all kinds of options while racing home—he thought Double Jeopardy sounded the coolest—but decided that he needed to pick two names. One for the left head, and one for the right.

Mario and Luigi?

Phineas and Ferb?

Stars and Stripes?

None of them seemed quite right. And then inspiration struck. He addressed the rats one at a time, first the left head and then the right. “You’re going to be Pip, and you’re going to be Squeak. Together, you’re Pipsqueak!”

The rats seemed to love it. In fact, Squeak squeaked his approval several times, as if trying to prove he understood Robert’s decision.

“Now stay here,” Robert said, “while I get some food.”

He ran downstairs to the kitchen, where his mother was standing over the stove, stirring a pot of soup. “There you are!” she exclaimed. “How was your day, sweetie?”

“Good.”

“What are you doing?”

Robert was already inside the refrigerator and loading his arms with two apples, a brick of cheese, a handful of lettuce, and a bag of baby carrots. “Just grabbing a snack. Thanks, Mom. Call me when dinner’s ready, okay?”

In a flash he was back on his bed, sharing the food with Pip and Squeak. Clearly they were hungry; they leapt upon the apple, gripping it with their claws and gnawing it to the core. Robert watched them, mesmerized. Each head moved independently of the other; sometimes Pip would eat while Squeak rested, and vice versa.

The food was gone in just ten minutes. Pip and Squeak looked to Robert with pleading eyes. “I’ll bring more after dinner,” he told them. “If I do it now, my mom will be suspicious.” Robert knew his mother wouldn’t tolerate a pet rat in the house, let alone a two-headed mutation.

He found a cardboard box in his closet, then shredded the pages of an old loose-leaf notebook, arranging the scraps of paper into a sort of nest. Then he placed a small bowl of water in one corner. “This is where you’ll sleep at night,” he explained.

Pip and Squeak grasped the idea immediately. They climbed up into the box, settled into a corner, smiled at Robert, and chattered their teeth. It was a weird clicking noise that seemed to indicate they were happy.

“You guys are going to be nice and cozy here,” he promised. “And it’s Friday, so we’ve got all weekend to play. Maybe we’ll go in the backyard tomorrow, would you like that?”

There was a sudden knock at the door.

“Robert? Can I come in?”

He grabbed the box and shoved it under the bed.

“It’s open!” he called.

His mother entered the room. “Did you just get off the phone?” Robert shook his head. “I thought I heard you talking to someone.”

“Must have been the radio.”

It was clear Mrs. Arthur didn’t believe him. She sat beside him on the bed and wrapped her arm around his waist.

“Is everything all right?”

“Yeah.”

“You like the new school?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you having any problems?”

“Yeah. I mean, no.”

His mother looked down at him. “I’m trying to have a conversation, Robert. Do you understand? This doesn’t work unless you’re actively listening and sharing information.”

“I’m sorry,” Robert said.

And he truly was sorry. His mother already had enough problems, between working full shifts at the hospital and cooking and cleaning and doing all the laundry. She never had any time leftover for going out and doing anything fun. The least he could do was cheer her up a little.

“Lovecraft is fantastic,” he told her. “We went to the library today? For the first time? And you wouldn’t believe it, Mom. It’s so big, I actually got lost.”

She smiled. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, and my English teacher? Mr. Loomis? He’s this really nice guy. He showed me where to check out books. Oh, and I made a new friend today!”

“Really? That’s wonderful!”

“Two new friends, actually,” Robert said, smiling as he thought of Pip and Squeak underneath his bed, their whiskered snouts just inches away from his mother’s delicate ankles.