Not What She Seems

chapter 28



Eventually Sylvia’s exhaustion got the better of her and she collapsed on the pull out couch in Lilith’s office. Walter shook her gently awake the next morning.

“Sylvia, come on. Lilith’s gone to the bank; it’s time to run that errand.”

With a groan, she rolled over. Her whole body was sore and she ached all over. She wandered into the bathroom and was startled briefly by the reflection staring back at her in the mirror. She had forgotten about her hair. After a good brushing she decided it didn’t look as bad as she feared. Some cold water on her face helped wake her up and she was ready to go. A cup of coffee and a change of clothes would have made things better, but those were luxuries she didn’t have at the moment.

The two made their way downstairs and out to Walter’s car. They wound through the city streets in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. They were both too tired to carry on a lengthy conversation after their experiences the night before.

Walter pulled up in front of Mass General and let her out. “Just text me when you’re done,” he reminded her.

She nodded and hurried to the ICU. There was a male nurse at the desk that morning, and even without her blonde tresses she had no difficulty convincing him to allow her to visit Keith. All it took was a few flutters of her eyelashes and a sultry look or two and the nurse was past asking any questions about how she was related to Keith.

She walked into his room and let out a gasp of surprise.

“Hi. What the hell did you do to your hair?” Keith asked teasingly.

“You’re awake!” She rushed to his side and gave him a gentle squeeze around the shoulders, being mindful of his chest and surgical site. He was still hooked up to a lot of machines to monitor his health, but he was no longer intubated . He looked better. Not great, but better.

“Yup, they woke me up just a couple of hours ago. I was hoping you’d come by.”

Sylvia smiled gently at him. She hated to tell him goodbye again, but at least this time she could.

“So tell me, are the rumors true? I’ve overheard a lot of the nurses saying the police caught the serial killer.”

“Yes, it’s true. He almost killed me, but Walter saved me in the nick of time.”

Keith leaned back and closed his eyes for a moment. “That’s good then, right? I mean, now we’re all safe again, and you can go out with Mason and win the Challenge.”

“Keith… no. Elora announced yesterday that she slept with her Innocent, and Lilith confirmed it. It’s over, she owns my territory now.”

He raised his head again and opened his eyes to study her. “Seriously, Elora won? I must say I’m surprised, you don’t seem all that upset about it. Does this mean you and Mr. Moneybags are all done?”

She nodded abruptly. “I’m leaving in a few hours for San Diego. Start fresh and all of that.”

“You won’t stay, now that the Hunter is gone?”

“No, there’s nothing for me here anymore, even with the Hunter behind bars. Elora took my territory, you and I won’t work, Mason…”

“Mason what?”

“I don’t need him anymore.”

“Don’t lie to me, Sylvia.”

His accusation took her by surprise. “I’m not lying! The Challenge is over, I’m through with him and I’m moving to San Diego.”

Keith sighed. “I know you too well for that. You were into that Innocent, no doubt about it. Ask yourself this, Sylv- when have you ever had feelings for any of your prey, or anyone, for that matter? Besides me, of course, but I don’t really count as I’m not human. But think about it- it’s unheard of for a succubus to have feelings for anyone, an incubus once in a rare while, but never a human.”

She didn’t have to consider this to know he was right, she had never become attached to any human before, but Mason was different. He brought out feelings in her a succubus wasn’t supposed to have. “I… you’re right, but what does it matter? He’s a human, I am what I am, it could never work. It’s pointless to even think about it.”

“Is it, though? I mean, I hear you, it’s not like you can have the big white wedding and all.” He paused and closed his eyes again, lost in thought. Sylvia waited patiently though she was flustered by the turn the conversation had taken. “So, Lilith’s going to kill me for telling you this, but there’s something you should know. The night you kicked me out, I was really upset about it. I went to Enchanted Escorts the next day and I told her how you were falling in love in your Innocent. I don’t know why I did it. I think I hoped she would stop you from seeing him somehow. She already knew about him,” he added hastily.

“I know.”

“I was just so angry; it felt like you were pushing me away to be with him. But I didn’t need to tell her because she already knew about him. When I told her why I thought you were falling for him she became really upset, and started saying things I don’t think she meant to let slip. I found out she was worried about the Innocent seducing you, though not in the way you might think.”

“She was worried Mason would seduce me? But I thought she wanted me to win the Challenge?” Hurt rose up within Sylvia. Lilith had given her the impression she was rooting for her in all of it, not Elora.

“As I said, not ‘seduce’ in the way you’re thinking. She was worried Mason, being the good man he is, would seduce you away from our lifestyle.”

“What ‘lifestyle’? It’s how we are, not something we choose or can turn on and off.” She was completely bewildered and wondered if perhaps Keith’s medications were muddling his thoughts.

He nodded. “You’re right, for most of us. Do you know all the rumors that float around about Lilith between the humans? How she became what she is and all?”

“Of course,” Sylvia snapped impatiently, irritated he wanted to go over old legends right then and there. “She was Adam’s first wife, before Eve, but since God created her from the same material as Adam, she felt they were equals. She refused to submit to him, ran away to join the demons, and God sent three angles to get her to comply and go back to Adam. Old news.”

“That’s one version, yes. But do you recall how some say she reconciled with Adam for a while, and bore him three sons, three human sons?”

“Yes, and I know that’s just a legend. She did go back to him at the angels’ insistence, briefly, but no children came of it.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. The part about the three sons is incorrect. Somehow the humans got it all mixed up, but she did have a child with Adam. Just one.”

“So what? What does this have to do with Mason, or me?”

“It wasn’t a son she bore Adam but a daughter, just one. You’re that daughter, Sylvia.”

“I’m the eldest of her daughters, but my father was a demon, not Adam,” she scoffed.

“How sure are you about that? I know that’s what she’s led you to believe, but I’m telling you, when I told her you had feelings for Mason she hit the roof and started ranting and raving about all of this.”

“Okay,” she decided to humor him. “Let’s pretend that’s all true, I was born out of Lilith and the original Adam. What does that change? I’m still a succubus.”

Keith nodded, and she could tell he was tiring out. Their conversation was draining what little energy he had. “You are, but only because Lilith’s led you to believe that’s what you are. You’re half human, too, and while Lilith’s convinced you that you’re purely succubus, it’s not true. You don’t access your human side because you were never told it was there.”

She bit her lip as she considered it. It sounded crazy, but as she listened, it was beginning to all come into focus.

“Lilith was furious to hear you were showing signs of falling for Mason, because it meant that something about him was pushing your human nature through. She worried that if you fell in love with him you would figure it out and renounce your succubus side.”

“But how would I do that? I have to hunt to keep my Hunger at bay or else I fall apart, like I did when I stopped feeding when we were together the first time.”

“Yes, but that’s because you didn’t know any better, you were letting your succubus half drive you. I know it all sounds crazy, but just think about it, okay? If you let your human half through, you could be with Mason, for real.”

“Why would you tell me all of this? You were jealous of my relationship with him; you’d never want us to be together.”

Keith shrugged. “I’ve come to realize that even though we love each other, there’s just too much drama between us. It’s not good for either of us. I do love you, Sylv, and I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me.”

His words touched Sylvia and she took his hand. “I want to be happy, too.”

“Then what are you doing here? Go to Mason, and make it work with him.”

“How am I supposed to do that? I know you say I’m half human and all of that, but how am I supposed to learn to stop feeding?”

He considered this for a moment. “Lilith said something odd, when she was flying off the handle about you and Mason. She said something like, ‘Before you know it, she’ll figure out how to push it back.’ I’m not entirely sure how to take that, but it sounds to me like there’s some way to keep from absorbing his energy, and if you learn how to do that, you’ll shut down your succubus side.”

The mere thought of it was insane, but Sylvia realized the things Keith was telling her explained a lot of what was happening with her lately. Succubi didn’t form emotional bonds with their prey, ever. But there was no denying it, she felt more for Mason than she should have, Innocent or not. If it was true that she could fall in love with a human, it could be true she could learn to stop feeding and thrive in spite of it.

“I don’t know how to do that,” she confessed.

“Well, have you ever tried?”

“Of course not!”

“So, how do you know it’s not true, if you’ve never attempted it before? Look, I need a nap, bad. I’m sure you can find someone here to try it out on. I don’t have any idea how it’s done, but according to Lilith herself, there’s a way for you to refuse the energy transference.” He leaned back and closed his eyes to sleep again, effectively dismissing Sylvia. He was done talking for now.

Did she want to be human, if it was really a possibility? Yes, she did. She had spent thousands of years alone, with the exception of her flings with Keith, and now that she had seen what it would be like to share a life with a man like Mason, she wanted it. She wanted normalcy, no more hunting, no more Hunger, just human normalcy.

She needed to find a down and dirty, grab and go to test the theory. Someone willing and able to get the job done quickly, without a lot of preamble. Leaving Keith’s room her eyes landed on the male nurse still working at the ICU desk. He was low grade energy, but he’d do just fine for her little experiment.

“So what time is your shift done?” She leaned over the desk a little too close to him, giving him big doe-eyes.

The nurse was flustered by her sudden attention. “Uh, not for another few hours. Why? You want to grab a cup of coffee or something?”

Sylvia sighed. “No. It’s just… well, hospitals always freak me out. All these sick people, all these almost-dead people. I just wanted to do something to help me feel alive, you know?” She gave him a pointed look.

It worked. The nurse threw down the chart he was holding and glanced around quickly to see if any of the other staff would notice his absence. Everyone was busy with their own work.

“I know just the place,” he told her. She followed him out of the unit, down the hall and into the staff locker rooms. There he hurried her into the handicapped bathroom stall.

“Sorry there’s no place nicer,” he apologized before grabbing her for a sloppy kiss. She braced herself for the unpleasant time ahead. It didn’t take long for him to get right down to business, and as he entered her, she focused as hard as she could on rejecting the energy she automatically drew from him. It wasn’t clear to her how she would go about doing that, but she did her best.

It didn’t work. She fed, against her wishes, as he had sex with her. She wanted to cry with frustration and disappointment, but she didn’t give up. This was her one shot to get it right so she could be with Mason. If she couldn’t do it, she’d have no choice but to go to San Diego after all, and now that she knew there was the slightest sliver of hope that this could work, she wasn’t going to give up that easily.

It was time to change tactics. She closed her eyes and tried to center herself by cutting out all of the negative thoughts in her head about how it could never work. Recalling what Jeffrey told her about auras, she did her best to relax, then tried to picture the nurse’s energy as an aura around him, flowing into her as they screwed. She pictured it as a vapor of blues and greens, mist-like, that flowed from him to her. In her mind’s eye she pictured an invisible wall between them, blocking his misty aura from approaching her. She could see it, a flat-walled mist hanging in the air, unable to cross over to her.

She gasped and her eyes flew open when she realized it was working. She could feel the physical sensations of their coupling, but she was not feeding from him despite the energy he still had left to give. Thinking her excited, the nurse thrust into her faster and harder, and his energy began flowing to her once again as she lost her concentration.

She focused again, this time more confident in her ability to stop herself from feeding. Within seconds of her attempt, the energy flow was cut off again. She laughed out loud with delight, but her partner didn’t seem to notice as he came with clenched teeth.

“Nice,” he commented as he leaned against the stall wall to catch his breath.

“Yeah. Um, I gotta go.” She pushed past him and practically ran back to the ICU to tell Keith, the nurse already forgotten. She had done it!

Keith opened his eyes as she flew into the room.

“It worked!” she announced proudly.

“Seriously? You did it? You kept from feeding?”

She nodded happily. “Do you know what this means?” He shrugged. “You were right. I don’t have to be what I thought I am. I can choose! I can be human if I want to, I think.”

“Good for you. See? I told you Lilith was hiding all of it from you.”

She leaned over and kissed him gently on his forehead. “Speaking of Lilith, I need to go. She and I need to have a little chat.”

“So will you try to make it work with Mason, give being human a go?”

Sylvia hesitated a moment before answering him. “Yes, I plan to, but first I have to talk to Lilith. Thank you, Keith… I think you’ve just given me my life back.”