Love Is Darkness

chapter 12

London, England

The phone rang and Valerie reached for it, enjoying the happy realization that nothing hurt when she stretched. She was healed from Lucas’ blood. It had worked. Saved her life and she wasn’t a vampire. She didn’t want to dwell on it too much.

“Hello?”

“Val.” Jack’s voice sounded gravelly and tired. Jack didn't speak, the moment dragging out until she heard him say her name in a devastated way.

This is the call.

She just knew it. Something about the silence, the pain in his voice. She spoke in a whisper, “Is he alive?”

“He's not gonna make it Val. The damage is too severe. I know he wants to see you before it's too late.” His voice trembled at the end and she knew he was just as upset as she was. Maybe more since Nate had been a father to Jack in earnest, whereas she'd been a reminder of his lost love and a liability that needed to be honed and cajoled.

She'd been work whereas Jack had been his hope. She got out of bed, already at the closet grabbing her suitcase.

“Where are you?” She asked trying to think about practical things.

“Italy. Rome.”

She almost screamed, furious that she’d even have to ask. Of course it was Rome. Where she’d been last night. Where she had almost died. Did he know? Had he seen her?

“What's the hospital?”

“Sant'Andrea. I'll see you soon, Val.” He hung up and she hurled the phone at the wall, overcome by rage and sadness.

Hastily, she got ready and went downstairs to the street. She found a cab easily and had him take her to Stansted Airport where the next flight left in three hours.

Lucas could get her there instantly. She called him and left a message. Where the hell is he?

She felt betrayed. He’d promised her that he'd take care of Jack and her father and he hadn't. Part of her knew that was unreasonable, he was in the middle of a coup, with potentially no allies and fighting for his own life but she was still angry.

The next few hours passed in a haze. She tried to read a few magazines on the plane but it was pointless. Images of her father, conversations had, moments where he’d been disappointed ran through her mind.

His voice.

His expressions.

Gone forever.

The way he used to tuck her in at night when she was little, or the way he hunched his shoulders when he was mad or irritated with her.

Most of her memories were conflicted. They’d let each other down, but that didn't mean she didn't love him. Maybe she should have made more effort, tried harder to let him know how much she cared, that even though she kept apart from him she did love him.

Would have, could have, should have.

The airport outside of Rome was busy, everyone seeming to be in just as much of a hurry as she was. She waited for her taxi and tried to focus on the drive instead of her grief. The taxi driver had a death wish, smoking and swearing at the radio in Italian as he careened down the streets like they were a ball in a pinball machine.

She knew some of the words he muttered because of Jack. Like when he'd cut his finger preparing dinner and had to get three stitches, or when she'd tried to sneak out and go to parties. All the memories of her life seemed to wash through her, and by the time she arrived at the hospital she was a trembling mess. She got out of the taxi at the hospital and walked to the front entrance.

There was a bench outside and she recognized Jack sitting there, hands clasped and head down as the world went on around him. She called to him and he looked up, brushing a hand over his cheek to wipe away tears. He came towards her and opened his arms, gripping her tightly.

She finally pulled away from him and met his eyes. They were so dark they were almost black. He looked haggard and she realized he'd lost weight since she'd seen him last. She could see the definition of his cheekbones, his features more severe in their beauty than they had been, any softness sloughed away.

“He's gone Val.”

She licked her lips, her throat dry and her body oddly numb. “Did he say anything?”

Jack shook his head slowly. “No. He never woke up. Last night we attacked some vampires. A lot of vampires actually, and your father was hit, knocked out. He didn't wake up.”

“What should I do?”

His hands went to her arms and squeezed her gently. “I don't know. We can leave or you can see him. He's still in the hospital room. I guess it depends on whether or not you need to see him one last time. If you have things to say....”

The vampires had killed him. She did want to see it, needed to know how it was done. She wondered which vampire had killed her father. Jack took her suitcase, pulling it behind them as they walked to the elevator. He led her past a bustling nurses station to a closed door. He gestured to it but stepped back.

“You don't want to go in?” she asked.

“No, I've seen him. I know.” He nodded and she realized he was angry at her. He'd been there and she hadn't.

Great. This would be another argument they could have for the rest of their lives.

She went into the room and closed the door behind her. The curtain was pulled closed and she didn't want to open it, like it would be too noisy or rude somehow. She looked for the separation of material instead and stepped through quietly. Stupid.

Her father was gray. There were no tubes or monitors in the room. Just silence. He was dead. What would they put in him? Nate’s hand was above the bed spread and she touched it lightly. She didn't have anything to say. But she sat down anyway and waited to cry.

Nothing happened. She'd cried on the plane, in the airport, even in the taxi. Now she was here and she had nothing left. She stood and looked at him. A bruise on the side of his face disappeared into the bandages wrapped around his head.

There were no bite marks. Her father would have hated that.

She left and found Jack sitting in a chair, arms crossed and head tilted back as he stared at nothing.

“Who did it?” she asked, her voice sharp.

Jack looked bewildered for a moment. “I don't know. The whole thing was a blur.” He shrugged, watching her carefully.

“Do you know what the vampire looked like? Male or female?”

He frowned. “I don't have any idea. The whole place was chaos.”

She had nothing to say. She needed to find Lucas. Jack stood before her and his hand raised like he was going to touch her arm, but then he stopped and folded them instead. A nurse called her name, waving a phone receiver at her.

Jack went with her, reaching the nurse first and taking the phone, voice curious. She didn't mind that he took the call, he'd want to do all the funeral arrangements anyway. He was a control freak. “Buono Sera?” The vowels were smooth and liquid.

Jack's gaze flicked to Val, “Who is this?” he asked in English.

Val grabbed the phone from him and he let her, leaning against the nurse's station in a lazy motion that made Valerie's heart beat faster in fear.

“Hello?” She wanted her voice to be blank.

“Valerie,” Lucas said tonelessly.

Her voice shook with emotion. “Where are you?”

“I am in Rome. Shall I send a driver?”

“No.” Jack was still looking at her suspiciously.

F*ck it. She hung up the phone and threw up her hands, turning to walk away. Jack grabbed her arm, stopping her, his grip too firm to be comfortable.

“Who was that?” Each word was punctuated and slow. He moved closer to her, crowding her space and she wanted to back up. She stayed still, her head going back to look at him since he was so tall. He held a finger in front of her face, and spoke in a venomously quiet tone. “Don't lie to me Val. Don't put us on that road. Do you understand me?”

She pulled free of his grip. He let her go as though she burned him, watching as she rubbed her arm to get the circulation going again. “I'm not your sister. I'm not your girlfriend and I'm not your responsibility. Do you get it, Jack? I'm not.” Each word felt vicious and hard, like she was punching every statement into his body.

He nodded and looked away from her. “I have to fill out paperwork. Wait for me and I'll take you to the hotel.”

“No. I want to go now. I'll meet you later. I can find somewhere to stay.”

He gave a bitter laugh. “The hell you will. I know you— I know you and….”

She could see him thinking, deciding what to say and what not to say, his posture implacable and set. “Nate's gone, Val. Just go to the hotel. We've been on the edge for too long. If you’re not there when I get there things will change.”

Val didn't know what she heard in his voice, anger and lust, defiance and despair. He'd let her go, that's what he was telling her. If she wasn't there, he wouldn't come find her. She gave a jerky nod and he handed her a card. The hotel and its address. He let her leave and she felt him watching her the whole way.