Then he let me go and Robin were there, and the part of me that weren’t much tough at all, the part that loved him and were terror-struck at Gisbourne rose up, and tears jumped from my eyes.
He caught me close, tucking me tight into his chest till it felt like my own chest, till it felt like he drew breath and it ran through me to make me strong. “They can’t see,” he whispered in my ear. “Cry as much as you need to, Scar. I won’t let them see.”
His arms strapped closer around me and gave me their strength. “I am so scared of him, Rob,” I whispered soft, rubbing his neck with my words.
“You’re all right,” he murmured, his hands like running water down my back to draw my pain away. “You’re with me now. And if you want, you don’t ever have to go back there.”
“Just hold on to me a bit longer,” I breathed into his neck, the skin hot and damp with tears.
He nodded, and I thanked God for his calm heart.
I held him till my breath ran steady and I could bear to untwine my arms from him. As I let go, I looked at his face and I knew in a heartbeat he weren’t calm at all. He were furious, rage and steel and hellfire in his eyes, but he were calm for me. He gave calm to me so I could be strong.
“So,” I asked, giving a bare smile, “what’s the plan?”
“Thoresby’s been allowed to compete,” Much said, “but he can’t beat much of anything in an archery contest. He’s truly a terrible shot.”
“The obvious thing is just to dress Rob up like Thoresby,” John said, “but he doesn’t want to do it.”
“I’m working with him,” Rob said. “He’s getting better.”
“He’s not really,” said Much. “But I’m trying to figure some sort of arm band to make his aim better.”
“Why won’t you just stand in for him?” John asked. “You’ll be in a coat and scarf and such anyway. We could make you pass. Dammit, Rob, it’s the simplest plan.”
“No, it isn’t,” Rob said quiet. “We all know what’s happening to me and I can’t be counted on for much. Besides, if they catch me, he’s disqualified entirely. And I’ll be killed.”
I threaded his fingers through mine and squeezed. It weren’t like I would ever let that pass.
“I’ll see what I can pick up about the others,” I said.
“Gisbourne’s a good shot,” John said. “We know that.”
I nodded. “I think that’s why Prince John chose this. Gisbourne claims it were promised to him, and I think the prince is just making a show and giving it to Gisbourne anyway.”
“All we’ve got is Thoresby,” John said with a sigh. “I don’t think it will be enough.”
Gripping Rob tight, I stepped forward. “It has to be enough. Our people have gone through hell and more under the last sheriff. If Gisbourne is sheriff we won’t never be free.”
“We’ve gone through hell,” John growled. “And we have nothing to show for it. I’m beyond weary of all of this.”
“We’re close, John,” I told him. “Things will be different with Thoresby.”
“Things are never different,” he said, and stared at the fire.
“You lot go to sleep,” Rob said. “Scar, are you going back tonight?”
My pipes ran thick, and I swallowed. I had to, didn’t I? “Yes,” I said soft.
“I’ll walk you back.”
He let go of my hand for a moment to pull on a cape and boots, and even that small bit of him I wanted back. It returned swift, and his fingers pressed into mine, gloveless and warm.
He tugged a slight bit and I followed him.
“Bye, Scar,” Much said.
“I’ll be up at the castle for the tournament tomorrow, Scar,” John said. “I’ll look in on you.”
I wanted to snap that I weren’t a baby or some small thing that needed looking after, but it weren’t the truth. I missed the band. I missed feeling safe and looked after. I nodded at John and left, tucking Rob’s arm closer to me.
We stepped into the cold dark and it felt sweeter with him beside me, like instead of dying the world had made space for the two of us. Going to the yard I took the reins of the horse, pulling him along with us as we walked.
“What happened tonight, Scarlet?” Rob asked me.
I turned my face into his shoulder against the thought. “Not worth thinking on, Rob. Are you still not sleeping?”
“I’ve slept a little,” he said. “Never for very long at a time. The monks said that might help.”
“And it has?”
He nodded. “The nightmares start and I wake up. I don’t slip into them.”
“But they’re still there.”
“They’ve always been there, Scar. I cheated them for as long as I could.”