Gisbourne’s vengeful gaze settled on me, and I licked my lips, pressing them tight together. I pushed up my chin and clutched my hands tight. “I won’t perform for you,” I said, pushing the words careful through my teeth. God knows they weren’t natural on my mouth. “Perhaps you think me a fool, and who could blame you, as I sit here and listen to you call me a wild animal, a peasant. But I am wise enough to know when my words will only be met with derision and scorn.” I looked to the side a small bit. “So no, my prince, I would prefer not to regale you.”
My husband’s hand settled on mine, his fingers clawing in and cutting. I didn’t much dare to look at him, to breathe.
Out the edge of my eye I saw a pale face lean forward. Her blue eyes were bright, and there were a stark, harsh beauty to her face. Eleanor of Aquitaine inclined her head to me, and I flushed.
“Well said, my lady Marian,” she said.
Gisbourne released the bear clamp on my hand and I tucked my head down to the dowager queen.
Chapter Ten
When supper were over Gisbourne caught my elbow and held me in a fair wolf’s trap, dragging me out the hall, moving faster than the rest. It were a few twists and turns before we weren’t in a crowd, and he pushed me ahead.
“God damn you!” he growled. “You and your filthy, proud mouth! I will be made to pay for that, and by hell so will you.”
“I did what you asked!” I snapped. “I spoke well, didn’t I? I didn’t stab no one.”
He pushed me again and I tripped over the skirts, hitting the wall, and he slammed his whole body behind mine so it stole away my breath. I reached out to fight him, to grab my knife, but he trapped my arms. I struggled hard, fair panicked now, but it didn’t matter, didn’t make him move.
“I could take you, Marian,” he threatened low in my ear. He bit my neck and I shook and struggled more, trying to be free of him. I ain’t never felt so trapped, so weak. He had my name, and every moment more he were taking my courage from me. He were taking everything I had from me. “I could bind you to me forever with the duty a husband is entitled to from a wife. I could give you a scar to match your wedding present. I could beat you until you remember your place, your promise.” His teeth sank into my ear and I cried. “Pick one.”
“Is this what your honor means to you?” I asked, but my voice weren’t much there and shaking besides. “Will this make you feel bigger in the eyes of the prince?” I drew a breath. “Or is it the princess you want to impress?”
His hand slammed the wall beside my head and he roared, “Pick one!”
Moving his hand meant he let go a bare shadow of a bit, but it were all I needed. I jerked out from him and pulled my knife. He stopped himself quick when he saw it, and his eyes went narrow.
Good. If all I had were his fear of a blade in my hand, that were enough.
Voices rose up in the hall behind him, and Gisbourne turned.
I ran for the nearest window, ready to fling myself out if need be.
It weren’t needed to fling. Gisbourne were at least a few moments behind, and I climbed out on the ledge and onto the posts that stuck out the side of the wall. I hated that my hand meant I weren’t much good for climbing. I hated the skirts that twisted up my legs. A few shaky leaps more brought me over to a stone trough and I jumped onto that and down.
I went for the wall and stood at the base of it, staring up. It were high and I were already weak, the shivers that Gisbourne started not nearly out of me yet.
Coming round the side and bitter with cold, I wondered what to do about the guards. I couldn’t much climb past them, and my head weren’t working proper enough to figure out a better plan. Moments came and went, and I were just colder and colder yet.
Looking to the residences, I wondered if I had to go back. If I had to return to him in his foul temper in that thimble of a room. I stepped forward, then stopped. Weren’t nothing that way but pain and trouble. How could I go back?
“My lady,” the guards said.
I turned. They stepped their heels together in an awful clamor.
I walked toward them slow, careful, and they kept their watch.
Walking past them, every step got more quick as I realized they full meant to let me walk out unbothered. It seemed there were something I could like about being a noblewoman after all.
The guards at the base of the castle opened the gates for me, and gave me a horse and a cloak besides. I could bare stammer out my thanks, stunned stupid with surprise.
I rode out into the night, heading straight for Edwinstowe. The horse bore me more quick than my feet would, and the beast took me through the narrow wooded path that led to the monastery. I dismounted and left the horse in the yard, going to the warming room.
I stopped at the door, my hand trembling near the latch, remembering the last time I were in there.
My hand made its decision and the latch tripped, the door opening and the warmth running over me. The three boys stopped. They weren’t asleep yet, and for one horrible breath, I wondered if in skirts and a noble’s kit I didn’t belong here.
“Christ, it’s good to see you, Scar,” Much said, bounding over to me and hugging me.
John were next, lifting me off the floor with his big arms.