“Nice timing,” I said. My words tasted like venom in my mouth, but I wanted to hurt him. He might not have verbally said he would be there for me, but his actions had. He’d never mentioned anything about bailing as soon as I needed him.
In spite of my tone, he came in anyway and perched on the side of the bed. “I know you’re angry about what happened last night, but I’m partly to blame. Both Fate and I thought it was the only way.”
“When did you two start chatting?” It seemed I couldn’t talk without spewing anger.
“That’s a long story and not important right now.” He reached out his hand and placed it over mine. I was about to jerk out of his grasp until he said, “But I think I can fix this.”
Those words had me staring back at him. What did he know? The rage inside of me was still there, but something about the way he was looking at me gave me some hope. I wanted to tell him to get the hell out of here, but I couldn’t; not if there was a chance to fix this. I squinted my eyes at him, not sure I believed it but desperate enough to listen. “How?”
“Let me give you a little explanation on what I think was going on, first. The working theory is Malokin tapped into your connection to the greater Universe when you were still human. When you died, being a transfer, you never completely shed that part of you. That’s how he knew your whereabouts, what you did—”
“I’ve got that part, keep going.” The damage of Malokin’s wide-scale intrusion into every tiny detail of my life still burned. I didn’t need a play-by-play of it.
He nodded and continued. “If you think of your connection in terms of a river, that mark on your hip was a sort of dam. It controlled and dampened the connection, but never cut you off completely, just slowed the water passing through. Malokin was, in essence, upstream of the dam, filtering everything through him first. By Fate and Lars finishing your tattoo, and cutting you off completely, they stopped the flow of information entirely. With nothing left to filter, Malokin lost his trace on you.
“It had to be done. If it hadn’t, eventually, there would have been no connection anyway. Only what was channeled through him. At that point, I don’t know myself what might have become of you.” His hand, still resting on mine, squeezed my fingers.
“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you come to me?” His disappearance had felt like a betrayal, another wound that I was struggling to heal.
He looked down at the floor when he spoke. “I couldn’t. Understand, I do care for you greatly, but I couldn’t chance any more contact with you until we figured out what was happening. I wasn’t sure what his capabilities were.” All traces of his kidding nature had been eradicated, until he almost took on the appearance of a stranger. “If they were to get me, it would be catastrophic. It can’t happen.”
Goosebumps spread down my arms. I still didn’t know what he was, but I certainly didn’t want to find out by Malokin getting a hold of him.
My eyes darted toward the door, thinking of Fate. He’d been in close contact with Malokin.
Paddy picked up on my train of thought and said, “He refused to cut you off, even after I warned him. But now we’re pretty sure Malokin can’t do it to anyone that isn’t a transfer. However he did it, it was while you were still human.”
Fate had refused to abandon me? My eyes watered but I held it back, but just. Why was that making me cry? Was I having a mental breakdown or something? Kitty might still be alive, and I couldn’t waste time sitting here—an emotional basket case—because some guy who I had sex with a couple of times didn’t abandon me along with everyone else. Time to get a grip.
“What about Kitty?”
“I’ve got a plan. If it works, we still might be able to save her, and you’ll be able to go back to the office as well. You’ll be as good as new, just a little different than the original version.” Paddy had a way of talking, and minimizing things, the way only someone who’d seen a whole lot of ups and downs could.
And then I realized. “So you knew about the tattoos and how that worked the whole time?”
“Yes. I am the recruiter, after all.” He stood up again and looked as if he were mentally preparing for something. “Now that we’ve cut off Malokin, I’m going to try and reconnect you.”
I sat up; Paddy had my full attention. “You can do that?”
“Well, it’s a bit unorthodox, and I haven’t done it before, but yeah, I think I can swing it.”
Thinks he can swing it? “How?” Please, just once, could someone have a logical plan of action?
He brought a finger in front of his mouth as one eye squinted. “That gets a little trickier to explain, but I’m going to connect you back, just through me instead…I think.”
Nope, he had absolutely no logical plan. “Could this kill me?”
“No, no!” He shook his hands in the air, but paused suddenly, as if something occurred to him. “Okay, maybe there’s a point one percent chance, but that’s trivial.”
“Fuck it. Let’s do it.” Then I thought of Harold. He’d already sensed something amiss. “Won’t everyone know something’s different about me?”
Paddy looked down at his watch. “You haven’t been off the grid long enough to raise any flags yet. It’s only been about five hours. As far as being different, you’ve always been a little off. Just pretend everything’s normal and they’ll go along with it.” Paddy did that shrug again, like who cared if they had doubts. Maybe I’d feel the same way in a couple of thousand years too, but I had less than a few decades under my belt.
“I’m your only shot.” He smiled in a mischievous way that made me a bit nervous.
“And you feel good about this?”
He was rubbing his hands together. “I really think I can pull this off. I haven’t gotten to try anything this cool in at least an eon.” He patted my shoulder. “It’ll be okay.”
“But you’ve never done this?” He was awfully excited, in contrast to how I felt about it.
“No, but in theory it’ll work.” When I didn’t look confident, he kept talking, “Hey, it’s this or hanging out at Lars’s tattoo shop.” He leaned closer. “Pick your poison carefully.”
Was hanging out with the guys that bad? Maybe not, but was it what I wanted to do for the rest of eternity? Hell no. I took a deep breath and said, “Okay,” before I could change my mind.
He tiptoed over to the door and closed it very carefully, as to not make a noise. “Show me the tattoo and then close your eyes.”
My fingers stalled at the edge of the sweatpants I wore. How was I wearing Fate’s sweatpants anyway? Why did Fate keep dressing me in my sleep?
Paddy cleared his throat when I didn’t move, bringing me back to the problem at hand. “Why can’t I watch?”
“You can, but it might be a bit bright on your eyes.” He looked at me and then rolled up his shirtsleeve.
He examined his arm, looking at it this way and that. “Ah, what the hell, it doesn’t matter.” He took his forefinger and thumb and pinched some skin near the inside of his elbow and then ripped it off.
A light, brighter than the morning sun, shot out of where he’d ripped away a chunk of his skin, and the piece that had been torn was glowing in his other hand.
“I told you to shut your eyes, but you young kids don’t listen to anyone.” He neared me, still glowing from multiple areas, and I backed up until I hit the headboard. “Yes, that’s a better position,” he said, as if I’d done it intentionally to help.
I slid the side of my pants down while keeping my eyes tightly shut. “Is this going to hurt?”
“Possibly,” he said, as if that were neither here nor there.
My eyes, squinting and barely open, looked down at where he was trying to force the piece of flesh he’d ripped off himself into me.
I expected a slimy feeling to touch my skin, but it was nothing like that. It was wonderfully warm and actually felt soothing against the still raw tattoo.
Whatever he was trying to accomplish didn’t look promising. Paddy started applying more and more pressure.