We didn’t get back to the house until after eleven p.m. and a couple of bottles of wine. I walked in the bedroom and dropped my heels to the floor while a wine buzz still clung just enough to lower my inhibitions to the other side of not caring.
I didn’t know what this was between us and I didn’t care anymore. It wasn’t the time for logic and rules. Everything else was going crazy, why did I have to hold myself to a higher standard? It was time to feel, not think, and that’s what I was going to do.
Stopping in the middle of the room, I turned towards Fate. My fingers went to the shoulders of my dress and tugged them down while he stood there watching me. Another pull and I had it stripped down past the lacy black bra and panties I’d chosen to wear today because, from the moment I’d seen him earlier, part of me had known it would end like this.
His hands were on me as my dress was falling in a pool at my feet. His lips came to mine, greedily taking what was offered. My hands reached up over his shoulders, pushing his jacket down. His clothes were shed until the heat of his bare torso was melding with mine. He grabbed a thigh in each hand and hoisted me up effortlessly as I wrapped my legs around him.
His tongue sparred with mine and I could feel the change instantly. When Fate did something—anything—he didn’t hold back.
I fell backward onto the bed with him landing on top of me, fitting in between my legs. The rest of his clothes were shed in between kisses and love bites and then I had nothing but his hard flesh pressing me into the mattress.
I locked my legs around him, urging him inside me.
“Not yet. Not again. This time we’re taking it slow, even if it fucking kills me,” but his voice sounded as pained as I felt frustrated.
I gripped his head in my hands. “I want to feel you in me. Now.” And I did. I was almost crazed with the need to have him joined to me.
He let out a low groan as if my request had completely undone him.
“Get on your knees,” he said and then flipped me over before I could comply.
And then he was pressing into me from behind, a hand on my shoulder holding me in place as he thrust forward. His penis pulled out almost completely before thrusting deeply back in. I arched into him, urging him to pick up his speed as I lost myself to the moment.
He was growling as he pressed into me before we were collapsing on the bed. We fell apart and there was something heavy in the silence that followed which had me looking at him. He didn’t appear very happy. It’s not that I expected him to jump up and down or spring into cartwheels but I wasn’t expecting a pissed off expression either.
My hand trailed down his chest. “What’s wrong?”
He turned and leaned over me with his weight resting on his arms. Staring down at me, his eyes narrowed. “I’m not the problem. What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing,” I said, definitely not wanting to talk. Talking could lead to thinking, and I didn’t want to do that. I was tired of thinking. I raised my fingers to curl into his hair, trying to tug his head down and bring his lips to mine as a distraction. He initially obliged but then pulled back against the pressure of my hand.
He grabbed my wrist and pressed it to the bed, not cooperating with my demand.
“You’re even kissing differently.” It was an accusation.
“So what? Maybe it seems different because of Cupid’s spell.”
“No. There’s something wrong but that’s not it. Both of those times you were here with me.” He leaned back further. “I don’t know what this is.”
He leaned down and I thought he was going to drop it but instead of our lips touching, he leaned his forehead against mine. He let out a groan that sounded almost painful before he pushed off of me.
My jaw dropped open. “Didn’t you tell me recently you were going to get me in bed by hook or by crook? Well, you got me in bed and now you’re complaining?”
He didn’t answer in words but made more growling sounds that I decided to interpret as an insult.
“I’ve thrown up my hands and said what the hell, why not, and you’re still not happy?”
“‘What the hell. Why. Not.’” Each word was repeated crisply.
“Yes, exactly.” I stared at him in disbelief as he walked across the room as if he wanted distance from me.
He sighed and then that turned into a growling sound of sorts too. When that was finally over, he still wasn’t done and let out a string of curses.
“Where are you going?” I watched as his back retreated toward the adjoining bathroom.
“Shower.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I put my fist over my mouth to hold back from screaming.
“Nope.” His lips popping on the P as he pronounced it.
“Why?”
“Because you gave me the wrong answer.”
“Do you normally quiz women when you sleep with them or am I just special?”
“Just you.” Each word was coming out of a clenched jaw as if he were as annoyed as I was.
“This is ridiculous. You’re really going to go take a shower?”
He stopped and moved closer and for a second my heart flared as I thought perhaps he was coming to his senses and would stop making such a big deal out of this.
He stopped short of me and ruined it by starting to talk again.
“I think tonight was all about having a warm body.”
“And what would be so horrible about that?”
“Because right now I’m wondering if it could’ve been Knox in here and you’d have acted the same way.”
“I can’t believe you just said that.” I yanked the blanket over me.
“Yeah, well, I’m pissed off that I give a shit too but I do. When I fuck you, I want you to know it’s me, I want you to need me there with the very core of your being, clinging to me as if you’d die without it. I want it to be raw and real. Hell, even when Cupid was involved, at least I knew it was about us and not because I happened to be there when you were having a bad week.” He straightened and starting walking toward the bathroom.
“Maybe if you hadn’t been such a dick the first couple times I wouldn’t be like this,” I yelled at his retreating back, not caring if the whole house heard me.
He slammed the door.
He dumped me twice, and I was still willing to sleep with him and it wasn’t good enough? I flopped back down on the bed. Why did everything in life have to be so goddamn complicated these days?
Chapter TwentySix
Fate wasn’t in bed when I got up the next morning and I was glad of it. The morning after rejection might be even more uncomfortable than the morning after a good cuddle. What was most annoying was he walked out just as I thought we were warming up. I finally slept with him and got cut off for the effort. Last night was like having one spoonful of ice cream. I know there’s people out there who have that kind of restraint but I wasn’t feeling like one of them. Things were getting ugly. I needed some comfort and I was gearing up for a binge on it.
Cupid was standing at the counter in the kitchen as I shuffled in, looking for coffee. I paused beside him and poured myself a cup. Leaning against the cabinets, I took in his silk pajamas and suave ways. Maybe I should have a little chat with Cupid. He did have his uses, after all.
I measured his mood and angled myself in front of the nearest exit. He tried to smile at me but the corners of his lips were struggling to keep an upraised position. How the roles had changed. It wasn’t long ago that I was running from the room from him. Now look at me, blocking his path.
I smiled, sipping my coffee, watching him watch me. Small talk, that was a good start. “So, how have you been?”
“Good. And you?” His eyes narrowed in contrast to the warmth of his tone but he always had a voice that sounded like he’d just had sex.
“Same. Thanks.”
His lips started to twitch under the strain before he finally gave up the fight and dropped the hammer. “No.”
Now he said no? Oh, I didn’t think so. I grabbed the coffee pot and topped of his mug for him. “No?” I asked, playing dumb.
“Yes,” he said.
“Wait, no or yes?” Life was so confusing when you didn’t actually ever say anything. How had I come to this place? This no man’s land of non-speaking?