“When Fate asked me to come here, I can’t tell you how happy I was. My job, well, it hasn’t always made me the most popular. There have been many a night I’ve lain awake, pining to be one of the gang. To now have you embrace me, along with Fate, it really means the universe to me.” He laid a manicured hand above his heart.
I was torn between wanting to ask him where he was still able to get his nails done or what exactly had Fate told him. This was going to be trickier than I’d initially thought. Still, if I dug deep, I had the social graces buried somewhere inside that would be able to pull this off without him being completely insulted.
“Cupid… I—”
“You know, I really thought after that last little nudge I gave the two of you that you were very upset with me. I only did it because I felt it was for the best. I’m so thrilled you aren’t holding a grudge.”
“I… You know, um… ” My words died and I forced a smile onto my lips. Looked like I was going to use those southern manners to go down gracefully instead.
I felt Fate’s hand land on my shoulder. “She’s trying to say she’s so happy you’re here, too.”
I let out a long sigh and then agreed; all the while my brain was silently screaming shit, shit, shit in my head.
Chapter TwentyThree
“Are you sure it was safe to come by yourself?” Kitty asked as I sat beside her on the couch. A large throw with the image of a cat, which went with the rest of her décor, lay over her legs. I knew her legs were still weak from when Malokin had broken them. The reminder of her torture, some of which I’d witnessed firsthand, was one of many that still haunted me from the time Kitty had been held hostage. She still seemed hesitant to stand even though there was a healthy looking flush to her skin.
“Yes, it’s fine.” I peeked out her back window and saw Paddy rummaging through her garden and hitting her tomato plants with his cane. When he’d stopped by for coffee this morning, I’d told him he owed me after the meeting the other day. He’d agreed to come but preferred to remain outside and unseen. I could understand all that but I wasn’t sure what was so offensive about the red fruit.
“Sorry I haven’t been by that much lately.” I could fool myself by thinking there hadn’t been time. It wasn’t like I couldn’t find a rational excuse, with the world was going to hell. No one would think twice about it and Kitty wasn’t one of those people who looked for hand holding.
The truth was I’d been avoiding this visit. She had suffered greatly, still bearing the emotional and physical wounds, while I’d floundered. I was ashamed that she had gone through so much because of me. Logically I understood Malokin was the one who carried the blame, but emotions didn’t work in a logical way. I’d finally gotten her out of there but not before she’d paid the price for both of us, and now I was paying my share in guilt.
She didn’t speak about what she had been though. There were large slots of time that were unaccounted for and probably always would be. That’s how, even if I hadn’t seen any of it, I still would’ve known how bad it had been. Some pain went too deeply to speak of.
“How are you doing?” I asked as I petted one of the many black cats roaming her house.
“It’s been so nice seeing the guys again.” She smiled toward the back of the house, where Bic was putting groceries in her refrigerator, before she looked back to me and redirected the topic away from her. “How’s it going with you?”
“Pretty good,” I lied, not wanting to dump anything else on her plate.
She snorted loudly. “That’s not what I hear. Your fights with Fate are like the daily soaps these days.
“You’re two of a kind, stubborn as all hell. That can be good or bad. It’s easier with two different types of people, when one is soft where the other is hard. You don’t have the clashes, the constant blows.
“But you two? No. You won’t come together easy. You knock into the other, setting off sparks with each collision. But eventually, after you’ve knocked and rubbed away all the hard edges, you’ll come together stronger for it.”
“We aren’t coming together,” I said, sipping my tea.
Her eyes rolled. “Yeah, I heard you were in denial too. Don’t worry, I wasn’t planning on harassing you today. I had something else I wanted to talk to you about. That Knox boy came by. He’s not a bad sort, and he’s agreed to put me in for early retirement.”
“You’re leaving?” I understood the desire and shouldn’t have been surprised but I was.
“It’s been a long road and I think it’s time to call it quits. It’s just…” Her voice died off as I watched her eyes fill with memories.
“Different now,” I said, finishing her sentence.
She nodded. “Bernie is going to watch after the cats until they get my replacement.”
“When?” I didn’t realize I’d grabbed her hand and was squeezing it until she squeezed back.
“As soon as I say all my goodbyes.”
My smile was weak. As much as I tried to muster up how good it would be for her to move on, the words didn’t want to come out.
“Sometimes endings are good,” she said, patting my hand.
“Do you know where you’re going to end up?” I’d heard stories of reincarnation that ranged from Indian princesses to Hollywood stars but I had a feeling that wouldn’t be Kitty’s path.
“Nothing grand.” Her eyes looked skyward and a look of whimsy appeared. “Maybe a florist. I think I want bright beautiful colors around me all the time, even in the winter when it’s the bleakest.”
“Will I see you again?”
She smiled. “I’d bet on it. Just maybe in another life.”
***
My step was heavier when I walked out of Kitty’s house, knowing that I’d probably never see her again. As much as I wanted to be happy for her, I couldn’t help but mourn her already.
“Paddy, thanks for coming with me today,” I said, as he came around from the side of the house.
“I was in the mood for some fresh air.” He took a breath so deep I could see his chest rise dramatically. “By the way, she’ll be okay,” he said as he exhaled slowly.
The pain hit without warning. I gripped the railing on the second set of stairs that led to the sidewalk in front of Kitty’s house, my hip on fire. The metal was hard in my hand as I squeezed, waiting for it to subside.
One of the most intense bouts I’d had, it finally started to abate after almost a minute of pure agony. My lungs were able to expand. I looked over at Paddy, dreading the questions he was sure to have.
Paddy wasn’t there anymore, or not a Paddy I recognized. A handsome male in his prime stood in his place, almost angelic in his fairness and beautiful features. Even his eyes squinted shut and his compressed lips didn’t detract from his beauty.
Then he was gone and the Paddy I knew was next to me again, looking much more frazzled than he had this morning. His eyes shot to where my hand had unconsciously come to rest over the area of my tattoo. There was something about his expression that made me uncomfortable, but I brushed it off due to the recent pain.
“How long?” he asked.
“A few weeks, give or take. You?” I asked, afraid I’d know what the answer would be but having no clue what it meant.
“Same.”
“Sharp pain?”
He shook his head but didn’t offer a description of what he felt. I took the hint and moved on to my next question.
“Do you know why it’s happening?”
“No. Like I said, when I gave you a piece of me, it was a first.”
We stood silently for a minute before I suggested we leave. The walk to the car was as quiet as the ride, and my unease in his presence was slowly gathering steam.
I wasn’t sure if the awkwardness was created by him, me or both of us. It might have been that I’d seen Paddy for who he really was. Somehow knowing him as one of them, in such a tangible way, and not the old man I’d come to know, made him more alarming.
Paddy disappeared a block before I pulled up in front of Fate’s, the only thing he’d said before vanishing repeating itself in my head as I sat there for a moment before getting out.