He looked up and I saw his face soften. I’d gotten used to that, the way he looked at me differently from anyone else, as if I were special. I’d thought perhaps it would’ve stopped after last night, but it was still there, at least for a bit longer anyway. I wasn’t sure what I’d do the day he stopped but I pushed away the thought. I had a purpose today and meant to accomplish it.
I tucked my hands in my jeans and glanced down at the floor for a second before I spat it out. “I need a favor.”
He nodded, giving me his full attention. I walked in and shut the door.
“It’s about Charlie.” My tongue nearly tripped over having to mention Charlie to Fate, knowing he’d never cared for him and not sure of the reception of my request.
“Your Charlie?” His eyes lost their softness.
I nodded, not feeling comfortable with the word “your” preceding anything to do with him, especially when he was so clearly anything but that.
“I’d like to get him and his new fiancée somewhere safe. You know, like you did with my parents? Once this situation calms down, if it does that is, I’m going to talk to…” I stalled on Knox’s name. “I’m going to ask for a raise so I’ll be able to start repaying you.”
“Forget about the cost. Tell me why you want him gone?” He leaned back and rested his head on the seat, the picture of relaxation except nothing about this line of questioning made me feel calm. I had to turn on my courtroom skills to keep from fidgeting.
“Because even if I’m not with him, I still want him to be safe. It’s not as if I suddenly can turn off all emotions simply because it’s over.” I walked about the room and fiddled with the plantation shades so I didn’t have to meet his unflinching stare.
“You still love him?”
“I’m not in love with him, but yes, in a way, I’ll always love him.”
He nodded. “I’ll handle it this afternoon.”
The mood in the room shifted slightly and the tension in my shoulders eased, the air coming into my lungs a little easier. I walked back to the door but paused before I left. “I’d like to be privy to the details.”
“You’ll have to stay in the background. Even with everything the way it is, that might still be a problem.”
“Understood.”
***
Fate and I pulled up to a clinic in the middle of Myrtle Beach at two p.m. that afternoon. It looked like a makeshift emergency medical center that had been thrown up quickly in a closed down storefront. I’d heard of places like this and wasn’t surprised that Charlie would be running one. That was the epitome of who he was.
From where we were parked across the street, I could see her, his new fiancée, helping out with the line of patients visible through the glass front. And then there was Charlie, appearing from the back room with his white jacket. The place was busy but he was still smiling like always. It had been one of the things I’d loved about him and still did, his easy smile.
“How did you know he was here?” I asked.
“His destiny has been on my radar for a while. There’s a remote island in the Pacific that he was going to do some pro bono work in a year or so. I checked it out and that area seems less affected than most places. It was a fairly easy tweak to push the trip up earlier.” I felt Fate’s eyes on me, not Charlie, as he spoke.
“Was it always going to be her going with him?”
“I don’t know that,” he said but I expected that to be a lie.
I watched as Charlie stopped to look at a file she was holding, his hand coming to rest on her back. He couldn’t resist touching her in some small way when she was nearby. The only thing that surprised me about today was it didn’t hurt as badly as I thought it would. I knew why I’d come.
The feelings had been fading for a while. The thoughts of him coming less and less until recently, days would go by without him popping into my mind at all. But still, I’d needed to see him one last time. I’d clung to what might have been so firmly that I’d needed this goodbye, even one sided as it was. I’d needed to see them so I could wish him well, let him go and close the book on that part of my life for good. It felt more akin to losing a dear friend than a soul mate.
I was okay.
“Do you need to go do something?” I asked as we both remained seated in the car.
“No. It’s already done. They’ll be packing tonight and catching a ride with a military plane early tomorrow morning. They’ll be there later that evening.”
“Then why did we come here?”
“Because I thought you wanted to see him.”
I did. “I’m ready to leave.”
Chapter TwentyEight
Knox strolled into the garage as I hoisted up a box of supplies from a recent run Murphy and Luck had made. I dropped it onto the bench with a humph.
“Want some help?” he asked, coming to stand beside me.
“Sure,” I replied, more from obligation than truth. The hard-found quiet of the empty garage was already dwindling and I hoped he’d be a silent worker.
Without speaking, he started lifting boxes and supplies to the upper shelves that I’d had a hard time reaching. Okay, maybe this wouldn’t be too bad.
He stopped moving and turned to face me, a hand came down on the bench at his side and he looked downward, shaking his head slightly. This had the feelings of a speech of some sort coming on, and not a good one. The signs of disapproval were flowing off him like the stench of a mad skunk. I shoved a bottle of olive oil into an open nook as I waited for him to form the words to match his unhappy appearance.
“I wasn’t going to say anything but I feel I have to.” His shoulders rose as he asked, “Why are you with him?”
I’d known he wasn’t happy about something but I hadn’t expected it to be my personal life. It was made more awkward since I had no desire to answer and I didn’t think he’d take the hint of silence.
“I appreciate your concern, but this isn’t something I’m open to discussing.” I lifted a case of oatmeal, the sides denting as I forced it into a spot it didn’t really want to fit into. If I went back to work, maybe he would too.
He didn’t.
“I feel as if I know you, and I don’t think he deserves you. I might not have been in the office that long but I’ve heard the stories.”
And there he went, jabbing full force, right into my soft spot. This is why animals in the wild don’t sleep on their backs. There’s always some asshole walking around and ready to poke them in the gut.
I shoved up the sleeves of my long shirt as his words clicked into place. They gave the sense of something more detailed than the office gossip. “What exactly is it that makes you feel you know me so well?”
“Paddy used to talk about you, the way you could do things. Sometimes I feel I know you better than myself.”
The looks he’d given me in the past, as if there had been a familiarity between us I hadn’t been a party to, now made more sense. “You’re new here, and I do like you. But you need to butt out.” And I needed to start sleeping on my stomach.
He slammed a fist down on the bench. “And watch while he uses you?”
“If by use, you mean be the only one who has stood by me, no matter what was going down and what it could cost him, then he can use me all he wants.” I dropped the box in my hand and left the garage, heading for the shower and perhaps the only place left to get some peace.
Fate wasn’t in the bedroom when I got in there, which was a good thing with the way I was feeling. I knew where my loyalties lay and would defend him to Knox all day long. He’d bailed me out of enough situations to more than deserve defense but it didn’t quiet my own doubts.
I never reached my haven. Fate strolled into the bedroom, pulling his shirt off as he did, looking as if he’d had the same destination in mind.
“You getting in the shower?” he asked.
“Yes.” I turned my back on him. Logically, I knew I shouldn’t let what Knox said affect how I was feeling right now, but when did logic ever factor into feelings? If I could handle this logically, I wouldn’t feel anything for Fate at all. I wouldn’t be worried about ending up in a puddle of emotional muck while he walked away, finding a new shiny toy. Unfortunately, I couldn’t shut off my feelings when it came to him and Knox’s words were ricocheting around my brain, trying their best to do maximum damage.