I didn’t want to argue with him, so I got out of the SUV under the ruse of inspecting it for damage. Fortunately, the Land Rover had hit a massive pine tree, and its long branches covered with thick needles helped to keep back the sting of the sleet.
We’d been going relatively slowly when I swerved on the road, so thankfully the SUV hadn’t been going that fast when it hit the tree. Other than some minor bumper damage, it didn’t seem like the Land Rover was any worse for wear.
Ridley got out of the vehicle and walked over to where I was standing near the tree. The branches mostly sheltered us, but it was warm enough that when the sleet rested on the pine needles they eventually began to melt, dripping through the branches in a light shower that sprinkled down on me.
“I’ve never said nothing is my fault,” I said. The adrenaline from the accident left me feeling sharper, pricklier, and I know that my words came out harsher than I meant them, but I didn’t care. “I’ve never even thought that.”
“You sure as hell act like that,” Ridley snapped back, matching my intensity, and I turned to glare up at him.
“If you think I don’t constantly blame myself for letting Viktor get away—”
“I don’t blame you!” he shouted, then he stopped. As quickly as that, the fight had gone out of him, and his whole frame seemed to sag. The icy mask he’d been wearing melted away, and he just looked hurt and a little lost. “Why can’t you just tell me things?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about him.” I was surprised that my voice quivered with my sincerity, and I hastily steadied it. “I just had to be certain about what I saw. After all you’ve been through with Viktor, I didn’t want to get you upset for nothing. But now I realize it would’ve been better if I had told you sooner, and I’m sorry. I can never tell you how sorry I am.”
“I don’t need your apologies.” He shook his head. “And I’m not even really mad at you.”
“You’re not?”
He shrugged. “I mean, you should’ve gotten me before you went down to talk to Konstantin.”
“I thought he would be more likely to open up if it was just me.” I tried to explain my reasoning, and I couldn’t tell if he accepted it or not.
Hesitantly, Ridley said, “I know that makes sense.”
“But?” I prompted, since he’d left that statement hanging in the air.
“But Viktor almost killed you, Bryn.” He looked at me for the first time since he’d gotten out of the SUV, and the heat had returned to his eyes, burning darkly within him. “I was asleep a few floors above you, and the man who killed my father came back after being gone for years and nearly killed the person…”
Ridley trailed off, and I didn’t push him to finish. Whatever he was going to say, I didn’t think I wanted to know. The pounding of my heart would argue with that, but I knew logically it was better for us if he didn’t finish that sentence, if I don’t know what I really meant to him.
“I don’t know what’s going on between us,” he said finally. “But I do know that I don’t want to lose you.”
I swallowed hard. “I don’t want to lose you either.”
“Then you need to confide in me, okay?” Ridley asked. “You can’t go running off without letting me know. I told you before that we’re in this together, and with Viktor back, I mean that now more than ever.”
“I can do that,” I agreed. “And I promise not to keep secrets from you anymore.”
“Friends again?” he asked with a hopeful smile, holding out his hand to me.
“Friends.”
He’d had his hands shoved in his pockets, but mine were cold and damp from touching the vehicle to check for damage. When I took his hand to shake it, the warmth that enveloped me was astonishing. Instantly, I knew this was a bad idea, but I didn’t let go of him.
The air smelled of snow, water, and fresh pine needles. The dripping water had dampened our hair, making his a bit wavier than normal, and for some reason it made his mahogany eyes appear brighter. I was cold and wet, and I imagined how much warmer it would be in his arms.
And then I wasn’t imagining it. We’d both moved forward, filling in the gap between us, and he let go of my hand.
“We should, um, probably get going,” he said in a low voice.
“Right,” I agreed, forcing a smile when I stepped back from him. “We should check the GPS and find out how close we are.”
Pushing down all the conflicting emotions I had swirling inside me, I turned to the job at hand and got back in the car.
The coordinates for the lake weren’t exact, so we’d made our best guess with longitude and latitude on the GPS app on Ridley’s tablet. I grabbed the tablet off the dashboard, but it was updating slowly. Service could be sketchy out here, blinking in and out. At least it was working now.
“What’s it say?” Ridley asked when he got in the SUV. He shook the water from his hair then peered over at the tablet in my hands.
“According to the GPS we’re not that far anyway, and there isn’t a road going directly to Lake Isolera. Want to try walking it?”