I closed my eyes, listening to the comforting baritone of Ridley’s voice. When he was reading from the book, he spoke like he normally did—no hint of anger or unease. My chest ached with regret and longing. He was so close to me. Our arms brushed up against each other on the armrest. But he was still so far away.
If I looked up at him, I would see an icy wall in his mahogany eyes where once there had only been warmth.
All I wanted was to take back everything that had happened—not telling him about Viktor right away and even kissing him. I just wanted things to go back to the way they used to be between us, but I didn’t have the words to erase what had happened. So I just closed my eyes and listened to him read.
Once we’d picked up a rental car at the train station, things had actually gotten easier. We needed to take turns driving, and Ridley had offered to take the first shift. I hadn’t slept well, but at least it wasn’t tense or weird that we weren’t speaking.
I’d taken my shift a few hours back, and Ridley had been sleeping soundly the whole time. Most of the drive had been easy and relatively uneventful, but gradually the clouds had moved in, growing darker and blotting out the sun. Then the snow had begun, which wasn’t bad when compared to its icy counterpart that pounded down now.
The windshield wipers could barely keep up at this point. The SUV slid on a slick patch. I managed to catch it before we went off the road, but it jerked hard when it hit a dip on the pavement.
“What’s going on?” Ridley asked, waking up with a start.
“Everything’s okay.”
He sat up straighter, blinking back sleep, and looking out the window at the mess the sky was pouring down on us.
“Do you want me to take over?” he asked, eyeing my hands gripped tightly on the wheel.
I shook my head. “No, I’ve got it. You just woke up.”
And at that moment, the Land Rover decided to skid again. It wasn’t bad, and I recovered easily, but it hadn’t eased Ridley’s concerns.
“Are you sure?” he asked. “Because I got plenty of sleep, and I’m feeling alert now.”
“Yeah, I’m sure,” I insisted. “Besides, I think we’re getting close.”
He waited a beat before adding, “Because sometimes you say you’re sure, and you’re not.”
“What are you talking about?” I gave him a sidelong glance, since I didn’t want to take my eyes completely off the road. “I never say I’m sure unless I am.”
He laughed dryly. “Whatever you say.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“It means…” He ran a hand through his wavy, sleep-tousled hair. “Nothing. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“But you did.”
Ridley let out a long breath. “It’s just … you sure kissed me like you meant it, and then you told me that you didn’t.”
At first I was too stunned to say anything. I couldn’t believe he was even bringing it up. Finally, I managed a plaintive “That’s not fair.”
“Life isn’t fair, Bryn,” he muttered dryly, and for some reason that set me off.
“You kissed me like you meant it too,” I shot back. “And you have a girlfriend!”
“Juni’s not my girlfriend,” he nearly shouted, shifting in his seat. “We’ve gone on a few dates is all.”
I scoffed. “That’s bullshit, Ridley.”
“And it doesn’t matter,” he said, instead of arguing my point. “You’ve made it perfectly and repeatedly clear that you have no interest in dating anyone ever, so I don’t know why it bothers you if I’m seeing someone or not.”
“It doesn’t bother me. Do whatever you want.”
He mumbled something, but I didn’t ask what. I just let him lapse into silence and stare out the window, not that there was much to see. The sleet was coming down so heavily that visibility was completely shot.
That’s how the tree appeared out of nowhere. It had been uprooted by the excessive weight of the snow-sleet mixture, and it tipped across the road, angling upward with branches sticking out haphazardly.
I jerked the wheel, attempting to swerve around the tree, but there was nowhere to swerve to. This was a narrow road, barely wider than a lane, and the tree had it blocked entirely. The tires slipped on the icy mixture, and we careened off the road.
NINE
collision
Ridley cried out in surprise as the SUV spun ninety degrees, and bounced down the shallow embankment next to the road before slamming into a tree and coming to a hard stop.
We both sat there panting, neither of us saying anything. The dashboard console began to beep angrily, letting us know that we’d collided with something—as if we couldn’t figure that out already.
“You okay?” Ridley asked.
“Yeah. You?”
He nodded. “You should’ve let me drive.”
“There was a tree in the road!” I gestured back toward the road several yards behind us. “That wasn’t my fault.”
“Right.” Ridley rolled his eyes. “Of course. Nothing is ever your fault.”