I Kissed a Dog

chapter 52

Several long kisses later, we found our way out of the water to a blanket Zane had spread by my towel. We dropped in unison, landing on its sun-saturated softness.

He pulled me close.

Resting my head on his chest, the late afternoon warmth erased the remaining moisture from my skin, adding to the fire already kindling inside me.

I trailed my fingers over his mouthwatering six-pack, afraid I might drool as I anticipated my mouth exploring those perfect ripples. His skin, so smooth, felt like silk under my hand. He groaned and twisted a strand of my damp hair around his finger, tugging gently.

Despite our rising intimacy, I sensed him holding back. Something was bothering him, even now, with our bodies pressed together. Whatever it was would continue to haunt and harass until we exorcised it from his mind.

Respecting his privacy, I made no attempt to infiltrate his thoughts, waiting instead for him to take the lead and open up.

His jaw clenched and his muscles tightened. He pulled away, and propped his head on his hand, allowing him to gaze down at me.

The golden flecks, expanding through his irises, were confirmation of his increasing hunger. Yet his tension was plain, evidenced by the hand resting on my bare hip, trembling just enough for me to notice.

My mate was beyond self-assured, especially in the art of seduction. The strain he was exhibiting had nothing to do with any shortfall in that area.

With this realization, a knot of fear tightened in my stomach, squelching my desire, and freeing a barrage of menacing uncertainties.

Another secret, something left to reveal; that had to be it. But what?

We’d bared our souls during the first hour of our drive, committing to keeping nothing hidden from the other, no matter how uncomfortable confessing might be.

I guessed if I wanted to share one final revelation, I could mention my ill-fated vow to Valamir. But I’d come to the conclusion that that particularly annoying promise was mine to deal with alone.

The Master Vampire had helped us overcome our enemies. And he continued to prove himself useful by tracking Martin and the missing coins.

If I told Zane now, he’d spend all his time worrying about me and would end up confronting Valamir. It seemed unfair to burden him with something that could happen years down the road.

I’d tell him when the time came to fulfill my vow. Until then, it seemed irrelevant in light of everything else. I didn’t want to think about it either. The implications were too terrifying. Valamir could request anything of me, and I’d be forced to oblige. Considering how bad he wanted my blood …

“I need to tell you something,” Zane started, sending another jolt of fear down my spine. I hadn’t realized how wound up I’d become thinking about my own predicament.

Rolling onto my side, I faced my mate. “I knew you were upset. You know you can tell me anything. I mean it.”

“My Princess, always perceptive and gracious. Thanks for staying out of my head. I just needed a second to piece together the puzzle floating around in there.” He tapped the side of his head, smiling, but the attempt to lighten the moment didn’t quite reach his eyes.

I ran my hand over his shoulder and down his arm, distracted, as always, by his sculpted muscles. “I’m no mind reading bully,” I teased, holding his gaze, and hoping to inspire confidence.

Taking a deep breath, he exhaled. “Okay, here I go. First, you know I love you, right?”

“Ye-s-s-s …” I narrowed my eyes, suspicion overriding my fear. This wasn’t good. We were dealing with a major revelation here. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. My mom always believed denial was bliss. Maybe she was right.

“I have one last confession to make. On our wedding night, when you were so intoxicated …”

“Oh, no! What else did I do?” His problem was with something I’d done. A secret he’d kept about me for me. “Can’t we just forget it?” I pleaded, before realizing the irony of my request. I had no recollection of anything following our blurry wedding ceremony. He was the one who remembered the details.

“Babe, you didn’t do anything. That’s the point. I lied. When you threatened an annulment, I panicked. The mating marks had already …”

Struggling to comprehend, I sat up. “What exactly are you saying? What didn’t I do?”

“You, we, did not make love that night. You’re still a virgin. Please forgive me. I couldn’t lose you. There was too much danger, too much at stake. We needed each other. I couldn’t risk you leaving.”

In one smooth movement, I leapt to my feet, unsure what to do next. This wasn’t some simple white lie. This was a life-altering admission with the potential to disrupt everything I’d grown to accept and love about my life, about Zane.

Still a virgin? No wonder I hadn’t felt anything different that morning. And Zane had sent the sheets to be laundered before I’d had a chance to spot any traditional, telltale signs of our supposed night of passion. There’d been nothing to see, nothing but clean, unblemished sheets.

His words, “I couldn’t risk you leaving” suddenly made sense. He’d needed me for the board meeting and to help investigate the murders. What if he’d been using me all along?

“Chloe, please, you know what we have is real. The marks, your new powers, none of it would have happened if we weren’t fated to be together. You are my mate; my chosen one.” He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. Shockingly, he offered, “Explore my memories. Maybe that will set your mind at ease. You’ll see I had the best intentions.”

Facing the lake, I shivered, no longer feeling sexy, but vulnerable in my skimpy bikini. Not able to face him, and uncertain how to respond to his mind-reading suggestion, I hurried to the cabin, keeping my eyes on the ground.

Once inside, I grabbed my pile of new belongings and darted into the second bedroom. The one I’d discovered across the hall from the bathroom. Dumping everything on the bed, I quickly located a pair of underwear, bra, and jogging suit.

Clothes in hand, I crossed the hall and locked the bathroom door. Leaning against the wall, I allowed the tears to fall.

I’d half expected Zane to follow, but he’d stayed behind. Part of me was relieved, but a bigger part was disappointed. He should have pursued me. He should be begging my forgiveness. Not that I’d accept his apology. How could I?

A few minutes later, the shower was massaging the kinks out of my neck with strong streams of near-boiling water. My skin was developing a pinkish hue from the blissfully brutal heat. I wanted the temperature hot enough to burn away the pain in my heart. If only it was that easy.

The fact remained: I loved my brutish, bossy, lying, but deliciously desirable werewolf. He’d been willing to open his mind to my probing, giving me access to all his darkest secrets. Would I be willing to do the same?

I didn’t like my answer.

Gazing down at my mating sigils, I watched the soapy water slide over them, pooling at my ankles, all the while wishing they’d offer some cosmic cure for my latest impasse.

But I knew better. The one with the cure was me.