“Push,” he told me with a sense of urgency.
I inhaled a deep breath and pushed with all my might, grunting through the burning pain.
“Again.”
I pushed again, this time being torn from the inside out. A dark rim lined my vision, causing everything to blur.
“Relena?” Marren called out, but it sounded as though he stood on the other side of a cavern—much farther away than just in front of me. Then, just before the blackness took over my vision completely, his blurred mouth moved, but no sound came out.
***
I drifted in a dream. Weightless and floating in a black sea. I could hear things in the distance. Things that I couldn’t make out completely, but they were shouts of people. One voice stuck out to me. Marren’s voice. Shouting things I couldn’t understand. He sounded pained? Angry? I couldn’t tell. His voice was so far in the distance.
I wanted to get closer to him. I needed to comfort him. To help him with what he needed.
What made him so upset?
Something tugged at my memory, begging me to remember. Something that seemed like I should remember but couldn’t. Something important.
“She’s dying!” A loud voice echoed through my darkness. It caused my heart to palpitate.
“Who’s dying?” I asked.
No response.
“No!” Marren’s voice echoed all around me.
I had to remember. I had to find out what I’d forgotten. I had to find my way back to Marren.
A pain seared through me on my lower abdomen. I placed my hand over the opened wound and held it up to my eyes. Blood. A familiar sight, and despite the lack of light I viewed myself so clearly. So many times I had been graced with the sight of my own blood. So much of it had been spilled over my years. If it weren’t for Danst…Wait. Danst…Danst is…dead.
That realization sparked a small light in front of me. A tiny flame that flickered and moved within the shadows. I remembered Danst had died helping fight off Jiren’s forces. Something else played out in my mind: the night he yelled at me. The night before he died.
“I hate to break this to you, but Jiren can’t be killed. Not in the way you are thinking.”
“Oh yeah? How can I kill him?” I asked, stepping up to Danst and staring deep into his eyes, waiting for him to answer. He avoided my gaze and turned, walking away. “Don’t walk away from me, tell me!”
“I can’t,” he said.
“You can’t or you won’t?” I shouted.
He turned around faster than I’d ever seen him move with rage blazing brightly in his eyes. “Pick one, Relena! You’ll stop at nothing and run over everyone—even your mate—to get to Jiren and kill him. You won’t think! At least not about anyone but yourself. Go do yourself a favor and get some rest. And try not to get yourself and your baby killed.”
Baby…? That was it. I was giving birth when something happened…
The flame burned brighter and grew larger. So much so that instead of a flame flickering in the shadows, it was a window. A window of light with flickering shadows and movement of people rushing beyond and around me. The murmur of the voices blended together to form a continuous commotion with periodic shouts and commands in Marren’s native language.
A cry broke through the air…Everything faded away.
***
I opened my eyes to daylight. Next to me sat a wooden bassinet covered with soft white fur. It was too high for me to see inside. I reached out a numb and heavy hand toward the bed where my child lay.
“She’s over here,” a tired and reserved voice fell upon me in a wave of such immense relief I began to sob.
I turned my head toward Marren, holding a child wrapped in a small blanket. Her arm stuck out just slightly. A tiny arm, with a tiny hand, and tiny fingers clutched into a fist. The color of skin was a softer shade of Marren’s copper tone. Soft coos came from the tiny thing, bringing a smile of such warmth and joy to Marren’s face. He approached me and held her, so I could see the beautiful tiny face of the creature that had lived inside me. A tiny human face. Already holding features of her father, including his black hair and impossible black eyes. He gently bounced her.
I tried to sit up but couldn’t. “Why can’t I move?”
Marren’s face fell. He turned and gently laid the tiny girl in her bed, then turned to face me, kneeling down to meet my gaze. “It’s the cream we had to use to keep you out of pain.”
“How come I don’t remember?”
“You lost a lot of blood and fainted. We thought you were dying, so we had to cut the baby out. I gave Okelo strict orders to take care of her like she was her own because I was going to die, too.” His words came out calm and even. But he couldn’t hide the sadness that swelled in his eyes. “I can help you to sit up and then you can hold her.”
“Did you name her?” I asked.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I was waiting for you, but I had a name in mind.”
“What?”
“My Mother’s name. Naloud.”
I smiled. “Then Naloud it is.”
Chapter 25
A Plan Set in Motion