Amaia felt more naked at those words than she ever had. “We should get dressed.”
Fully clothed, they laid together on the floor between pews, Amaia resting her head on Michelle’s breast. It was odd. She had never gotten along well with women. Most of the time, they disdained and despised her. She had always felt comfortable around men. Men were easy. Then again, Michael never had been. Perhaps that was why she felt more at ease with him as a woman.
“I love you.” The words escaped her lips, flying out before she could even consider whether it was wise to utter them. There was a slight hitch in Michelle’s breathing, so subtle that no mortal would have detected it. The hand that stroked Amaia’s hair never faltered. “I’ve always loved you, you know. I don’t know why I feel so free to say it now when I’ve always been so afraid before.”
“Afraid? You?”
“Yes. Don’t tell anyone.”
“Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.” A moment of silence passed. Amaia wanted to lift her head to see what thoughts were flittering by on Michelle’s face, but she feared that her newfound courage came from the lack of eye contact. “It doesn’t surprise me at all that you feel more comfortable with me this way. You always feared a man would steal away your independence. You never had need to fear a woman, not even as competition.”
“But it’s still you.”
“I know. I would come back as a woman a thousand times over if it would make our relationship easier on you.”
“Do you feel more a man or a woman?”
“I feel more myself as a man. If I had to choose, that would be my choice. I believe that perhaps God knew that me coming to you as a woman would make it easier for you. What about you? Are you more attracted to me as a man or a woman?”
“Well, I’ve never been attracted to women before. I’ve always fancied men from a strictly physical standpoint. When it comes to you, though, I can’t imagine not loving whatever form you took. I admit that I am smitten by you as a woman, but not any more than I am by you as a man.”
“Come home. I have an appointment for you this evening.” Lawrence’s voice startled her. Her time with Michelle seemed so disconnected from the rest of her life. The last thing she wanted was to leave, but now that things were better with Michelle, she didn’t want to risk ruining it by angering Lawrence or rousing his suspicions.
“All right. I’m coming.”
“I’m sorry, but I have to go, Michelle.”
“Why?”
“It’s Lawrence. He’s calling me.” Amaia stood and helped Michelle to her feet.
“What? How?”
“A sire and his child can communicate through the mind.”
“What does that mean?” A crease appeared between her eyes.
“It’s like hearing his voice in my head. It works both ways.”
Michelle’s mouth slackened. “Wait, can he hear everything you think?”
“No.” Amaia laughed. “Just what I tell him. Don’t worry, you’re a well-kept secret. I wouldn’t go, but I don’t want to risk Lawrence’s anger when I’m going to be relying on his good graces to let me run off whenever I want to see you.”
“I understand. I don’t like it, but I understand. When will I see you again?”
“I’m not sure. As soon as I can.”
“Good.” Michelle stepped forward and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Stay safe.”
“You too, Michelle.” Without another word, she left.
Chapter 35
Palermo, December 1794
“It’s mating.” Meg’s voice carried the tone of someone who must explain something simple to a child.
“With a human.” Disgust was thick in Liam’s voice.
Already, Amaia regretted telling them. It had been impossible to hide the news when they met at the Cathedral of Palermo. She wouldn’t have been able to lie without upsetting Meg. Still, she should have tried.
“But we didn’t exchange blood.”
“No, but if it felt as different from regular sex as you said, it sounds as if you did exchange energies. That must be the same. Our energies come from our blood, so exchanging energies has to be similar to exchanging blood. You must really be in love with her to allow it.”
“I didn’t allow her anything different than I allow my clients.”
“You had to have. Mating can’t be forced. If it could, don’t you think Zenas would have long ago established compulsory mating?”
Meg had a point, although Amaia didn’t want to acknowledge it. “I still don’t agree.”
“Why do you keep blinding yourself?”
Amaia wanted to ask why Meg cared so much, but that would be hurtful. Her friend was only looking out for her. “Because. What if something happens to her? She’s going to die. If we’ve mated, that means I’ll die too.”
Meg’s eyes were wary. “I don’t know. Maybe you’ll be able to hold off until she is reborn. It will be different for you, knowing that she’s returning.”