Then again, she remembered past lives. How easy would it be for her to forget about Amaia when memories crossed lifetimes? Maybe forgetting was too strong a hope. She wouldn’t need to forget about her, only to place more importance on someone else.
Inside the church, the couple knelt at the altar. The woman was dressed all in white, her lace veil clearly a hand-me-down, already yellowing with age. The dress was likely the fanciest she would ever wear. It was plainer than almost anything Amaia owned. Yet, the bride’s face was radiant with a beauty not defined by physical features. Likewise, the man radiated love for her. Their energies mingled, brushing up against each other and intertwining. They were happy.
Michelle would make a beautiful bride. Jealousy rose in Amaia’s gut. She didn’t like the thought of Michelle with anyone else, but she couldn’t have her, so it was selfish to think of her any other way. If she could get her to fall in love with someone else, then perhaps the cycle would break. She would no longer have a broken heart tying her to mortality. She could live her own life, free of Amaia’s complications. She deserved to be as happy as the woman at the altar.
“Do you want the groom, or may I have him?”
“Hmm?” Amaia hadn’t been paying attention to Meg.
“The groom. May I have him?”
“Oh, sure, go ahead. You and Liam have fun.” Amaia watched them drop to the shadowy floor. She needed to speak to Michelle.
***
“What’s wrong?” Michelle sat next to Amaia on the beach. The sea air blew their hair behind them, carrying the scent of salt water. Amaia loved it, and she had spent many hours with Michelle walking in the wet sand. She was firm in her resolve, but that didn’t make what she had to do any easier.
“I think you should marry, Michelle.” Amaia didn’t know any other way to broach the subject.
“I’ve been saying that all along, but you’ve never accepted me. Well, you’re going to have to wait until I come back as a man. Hesitation never pays.” Michelle smirked.
Amaia shook her head. “I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
“You can’t marry me, not even in your next life, and you know it. I think you should find someone else, fall in love, and marry. It will make you happy. Perhaps it will mend your broken heart.”
“I don’t have a broken heart, Amaia.”
“Yes, you do. In a few years, you’re going to die from it, just as you have every other time. I killed you, betrayed you, and it’s left a scar so deep that it quite literally kills you.”
“That’s an interesting theory.” She did not hide the uncertainty in her eyes. She clearly recognized the truth in Amaia’s words, but she seemed be loath to admit it.
“It’s the truth. You know it. This crazy cycle has gone on long enough. I won’t be party to it anymore. We know what’s killing you. It’s time we took steps to fix it.”
“I can’t make vows before God to someone else when I’m in love with you. It wouldn’t be fair to him, it wouldn’t be fair to you, and it wouldn’t be fair to me, not to mention God. I won’t lie. I’m not even attracted to men.”
“I’m not asking you to lie. I’m asking you to be open to the idea of love. Give it a chance. There are so many other people out there who could make you happy. Find one and settle down. There’s no use wanting me, because you can’t have me.”
“Telling me I can’t have you isn’t exactly a good strategy to get me to want anyone else. I believe you told me I couldn’t have you once before, and look how that turned out.” Michelle smirked.
Amaia wasn’t amused. “Yes, look how it has turned out. It has led to this endless cycle of death and pain. How can you say that’s a good thing?”
“I get to see you, Amaia. That’s all I ever wanted. I want you. I want you to leave Lawrence and come live with me permanently.”
“And what about when you die?”
“You can come again.”
“I’ll wait until you’re an adult again and do it all over?”
“Yes.”
“That’s no way for you to live. You deserve a full life.”
“You mean that’s no way for you to live. Is that it? Is it too painful for you?”
Amaia knew if she said yes, she would win, but it wasn’t possible for her to lie to Michelle, especially when they held eye contact. “No, there’s no pain in it. My time with you is the least painful part of my existence. It’s the only time I’m free of the pain.”
“And you expect that to motivate me to change what happens? If what you say is true, then why don’t you marry me in my next life? Maybe that will break this cycle.”
“How? How are you going to marry me? In a church, Michelle? You won’t marry someone else because you won’t dishonor the marriage vows, but you’ll marry a vampire before God? How exactly does that work?”
“Maybe there’s a way to change you back into a human.”
“There’s not.”
“How do you know?”
“I just do. It’s never been done. I would know about it.”
“Maybe I can find a way.”