Chapter Thirty-three
For the longest time, Severine was scared to swim. When she was a kid it was the deep end that scared her.
She’d use her tiptoes and walk through the chlorine clear water until it reached her lips. Her foot would drag across the bottom. Back then, it seemed like the deep end just plunged into the lowest depths of the ground. It would swallow her whole.
She was diving into the deep end right now. The minute she opened her mouth and agreed to go with Thayer, her entire body sunk to the bottom. She couldn’t breathe. Her heart rate was out of control, and her lungs felt like they were on fire.
Her feet hurriedly guided her around her room. Fear tried to bite into the heels of her feet. Her emotions kept her going further. If she stopped, all those fears would completely drown her.
Severine grabbed random garments and tossed the clothing into her suitcase at a frantic pace. She was doing something for her heart for once. She’d become a repeat offender if she could always have this sensation.
“You ready?” Thayer asked by her door.
Severine nodded and grabbed the straps of her bag. “Let’s go.”
She already knew she was smashing into a moment. She couldn’t write it off later. Her compass pointed straight at him. Repentance could chase afterwards.
“You’re a fast packer.”
“I’m excited,” Severine admitted, as they walked to his truck.
“You’re excited to travel with me?”
“You’re not that bad.”
Thayer tossed her bag into the backseat. “Neither are you.”
For the first thirty minutes of the trip, Severine bounced her legs up and down nervously. What the hell was she doing? She went through so many feelings, but none of them involved Thayer taking her back.
“So your parents are divorced,” Severine stated.
“You want the story?”
God, did she ever. Severine toyed with the radio and shrugged. “Sure.”
Thayer rested his arm on the console in between them. Severine visualized him resting on her. “Our parents have been divorced since we were little. My dad remarried. My older brother, Mathias, and I went to stay with him. Macsen stuck near our mom.”
“You say that like it’s a death sentence.”
Thayer’s laugh was ominous. “Because it is. My mom’s a piece of work.”
“Well, that’s kind of you,” Severine said slowly.
“If you ever meet her, you’ll get it.”
Severine skipped to another question quickly. “So do you get along with your dad and stepmom?”
“Yes, I get along with Dad and Jayni just fine.” Just by saying their names, his voice perked up.
“It’s my turn. And you...let me guess, you have the perfect family,” Thayer said confidentially.
“Nope. My parents married and divorced when I was only a few months old. I have a stepbrother named Rennick, and my dad travels around Europe. I’m pretty sure he lives in Czech right now.”
Thayer whistled. “You’re pretty sure?”
“He was never around. I get money on holidays, birthdays, and when he feels like it. I saw him after my grandma’s funeral.” Severine shifted awkwardly in her seat and set her gaze out the window. “We don’t see each other a lot, and when we do, it’s awkward.”
“What’s in Europe?”
“He says work, but I think he likes to think he’s more European than American.” The subject of her dad was never talked about with anyone—save Lily—but opening up a part of her life to Thayer surprisingly felt okay.
Instead of probing more into her past like she thought he would, Thayer asked the one question she didn’t expect him to ask. “And that’s why you have a foreign name?”
“My mom wanted Elizabeth...something classic and pretty. My dad wanted Severine. He was on a French kick back then.”
Thayer glanced at her once and whistled. “That wasn’t what I was expecting to hear. Interesting little background to you, Severine.”
“Touché.”
Severine’s legs stopped shaking as she stared at Thayer’s self-assured smile. Maybe all the rules didn’t have any relevance when it came to Thayer. Because sitting next to him and talking to him could become a dangerous habit; a habit that had a high possibility of distorting her strength and making her greedy desires known. At this point, her heart didn’t care.
“Are you going to get all quiet on me?”
“No.” She glanced at his profile and smiled, stating, “I’m enjoying the scenery.”
“Severine, you haven’t looked out the window once,” Thayer pointed out.
Severine notched her head in his direction and lowered her Ray-Bans. “Really? You can see through my sunglasses?”
Thayer changed his focus from the road to her. “I can see through a lot when it comes to you.”
Around him, around them, they would always provoke each other.
“Focus on the road!”
Thayer only glanced up once and directly stared at her again. “You seem tense.”
“I don’t want to die,” Severine shot back urgently.
“Relax, Severine, I know this road like the back of my hand.”
Severine grasped the dashboard, like she could control the movements of the truck, and looked out the window. “It’s snowing.”
“And you’re incredible, even when agitated. Are we done with observations?”
Thayer could never say his words gently. It was either at full force or nothing at all. It never failed for Severine—she felt every word.
He relented, as Severine remained quiet, and slowed the truck toward an off ramp. “You’re still alive, Blake.”
“Barely,” Severine murmured.
* * * * *
“This is going to be awkward,” Severine blurted out.
She watched as a wood cabin came into sight. It stood on a slight hill, making the house stand out, but behind it, the view of the mountains and tall trees made it all connect together and create something beautiful.
Seeing something else other than tall trees and green was a relief. It seemed like they had been driving through the forest and on the winding road for hours.
Thayer put the truck in park and laughed quietly. “If you make it awkward. Macsen isn’t here. And the rest of my family is fairly normal.”
“Fairly?”
Thayer opened his door and looked back at her. “We’re here. I’m not taking you back.”
“Maybe they don’t want a guest.”
Thayer shrugged, uninterested in Severine’s protest. He walked to her door and opened it. “Don’t be spineless.”
Severine’s eyes flashed and realized by his slow smile that he was goading her. “I’m anything but that.”
“You’re right,” Thayer agreed, “but right now, you’re acting like it.” He took his sunglasses off and leaned over to put them in the glove compartment. His shoulder brushed against Severine’s knee and when he glanced at her, his smile was wicked. “You need me to carry you?”
Severine clutched the belt buckle across her lap with both hands tightly. “I’m good.”
“I can. If you need me to, I will.”
“But I don’t.”
He said nothing in response. Severine watched him get out of his side and walk toward her door. When he opened the door, he ducked his head past the doorframe and pressed his face close to hers. “Why are you here, Severine?”
Her hands blindly reached to unbuckle her seat. The whole time she kept her gaze on Thayer. “To have fun?”
The way he stared at her lips as she talked made Severine shut up immediately. His lips kicked up in a confident grin. “And that’s the exact reason why I asked you here.”
“No.” She was free from her seat belt, but Thayer blocked her from moving—from avoiding the situation. “You asked me here for things to change,”
“Everything. I want everything to change. Remember, this is why you said yes.”
One, two, three...
Seconds could pass so fast when you’re fighting your heart’s urges. Thayer stared at her, daring her to move closer. Severine wasn’t made to conform. She wouldn’t shift her position. Thayer’s eyes narrowed as he saw her resolution.
Four, five, six...
“Thayer!” A female voice yelled out happily.
The two of them turned, and Severine wanted to take a deep breath of relief as she watched a woman wave excitedly from the deck.
Two men walked out the front door. Thayer was true to his word. Macsen was nowhere to be seen. She jumped out of the truck and watched his family watch her.
Thayer’s hand splayed against her back. It felt like he was close to swallowing her completely.
“You’re here!” A tall, older man walked down the wooden steps and inspected Thayer and Severine.
“I am.”
He stopped in front of Severine and Thayer. “With a girl.”
“This is Severine.” The way Thayer spoke her name made her seem much more than ‘just a girl.’ Severine wasn’t the only one to notice. His dad merely raised his eyebrows and held his hand out. If he knew anything about her previously, it didn’t show. “Owen Sloan.”
Severine kept her smile in place, as she returned the handshake. Inside, she was a huge f*cking mess. In front of her was an older replica of Macsen. This whole entire situation felt like a disaster.
Thayer’s fingers pressed into the flesh of her back, encouraging her to lean into him. He knew what Severine saw. She repositioned herself closer to him as the rest of his family walked closer to her.
“Severine, this is my brother, Mathias.”
She shook hands with his older brother. He stayed silent, reminding her of Thayer in his demeanor. Both stood tall in height and had the same dirty blonde hair. One thing was different—Mathias’s pain rolled off him in waves. He was a damaged soul.
“And I’m Jayni, their mother.”
Thayer’s stepmom stepped forward with an all-embracing smile on her face. She didn’t say stepmom; she owned the word mother. It’s possible she was all Thayer and Mathias knew.
A face could show you so much about a person. Severine could tell from Jayni’s wrinkles that flowed away from her eyes and curved around her cheeks that she was complacent in life. Her blonde hair was cut to her chin, and her fine hair was styled with waves to give it more body. A pair of black-framed glasses perched on her nose. But the one thing that held Severine’s attention the most was her brilliant smile. Instantly, she felt soothed. Severine could let her armor down around Jayni.
“It’s nice to meet everybody.”
Mathias smirked at Severine’s discomfort, while Jayni oozed happiness. Owen was the only one that seemed to focus solely on Thayer. “Are you guys hungry?”
“Yes,” Severine blurted out. Macsen had ruined her McDonald’s run. Her stomach had rumbled the entire trip.
“Come with me. We were just getting ready to eat lunch.” Jayni was a few inches shorter than Severine, but she directed Severine toward the house like a mother in charge. “We’re having something light. Owen and I are going to a New Year’s party, and-”
Severine kept up with the conversation, nodding her head when she needed to. Before they reached the steps, she turned back around and found all three males staring at her.
What did they know that she didn’t?