BRIDGES AND WALLS
“Until now, I never believed when they said
love could get away with murder.”
Melody Manful
“What more do you want, Gideon?” Abigail asked. This time around she looked over her shoulder, and her eyes met mine. The moment our eyes connected, I knew I was the reason for the pain in her eyes, and it made me weak. Abigail looked beautiful as always, except her expression looked empty.
“Call me if you need me, Abby,” Tristan said and disappeared. I was sure he wasn’t far away. He was far enough to give us some privacy, but close enough to save Abigail if I decided to hurt her.
I approached Abigail but stopped when I was two steps from her. “I know you told me to stay away,” I started. I took a step closer, but she took one back. “I’m not going to hurt you, Abby,” I whispered, my voice trailing off.
“I beg to differ,” she said coldly.
Looking at her, I knew she didn’t want me around. As much as I wanted to stay and talk with her, I knew I had to leave.
“I’ll leave,” I turned to walk away.
“Wait!” Abigail called, and I stopped immediately. “Why did you come back?” she asked.
“I tried to stay away like you wanted, but I couldn’t.” I could hear the sadness in my own voice, and it sounded different to me. I took another step closer to her, and this time she didn’t move.
She whispered, “It’s only been two weeks.”
“But it feels like centuries.” I took another step forward.
“I’m trying to forget you, Gideon,” she whispered with her eyes on mine. “And I can’t forget you if you never leave.”
I took her hand and said, “I can’t stay away from you, Abby. I tried, and it hurts. I can’t take the pain anymore.” I knew if I didn’t say what was on my mind, I’d never get a chance to. So I decided to let it all out. “I know you hate me and—”
She cut me off. “I don’t hate you,” she said, looking down at our hands.
I didn’t understand why she would say this. I hated myself for the pain I had put her through. Why wouldn’t she hate me? I tilted her chin up and said, “You should hate me, Abigail. I deserve to be hated.”
“That’s just it, Gideon!” Abigail shouted angrily, letting go of my hand and stepping away. “I don’t hate you. I love you!”
I was speechless. I looked at Abigail in shock. She loved me? She loved me! Wait, what? I didn’t understand how she—or anyone, for that matter—could love someone like me. I was evil. I didn’t deserve love, especially not hers. I wanted to believe that she meant it, but how could I?
Looking at Abigail’s beautiful face and hopeful eyes, I wanted to say it back; I just didn’t know how.
“Abigail, I…” I paused, not sure of what to say. Although the words were on the tip of my tongue, I couldn’t tell her I was in love with her; they wouldn’t come out. “You can’t love me,” I said, I was a monster. How could she love a monster?
“Why not?” she asked sullenly. “Do you want me to stop loving you?”
I shook my head. “No,” I answered honestly. “But…I’m not who you think I am.” I was evil. I wasn’t supposed to be happy, not with Abigail. She deserved better. Yes, I was talking myself out of happiness; it was my job.
“I know who you are,” Abigail said. “Tristan told me everything, and I don’t care who or what you are, Gideon.”
I didn’t understand her. She knew what I was, and she still loved me?
“I know you’re the most…” she paused, fighting her words. “I really don’t care.”
Surely she didn’t mean what she was saying. “Abby, don’t say…” I was somehow happy that someone told her the whole story, but how could anyone be fine with what I was? “Don’t do this,” I begged.
“I tried to be scared of you. These past days I’ve been angry at you. I thought I hated you because of what you did and who you are.” She looked sadly into my eyes. “But it turns out I just hated myself for asking you to leave.”
I didn’t know what to say. “Abigail, you can’t love me,” I repeated.
“I love you…and you don’t have to love me back.”
Who wouldn’t love her back? I cupped her face and said, “Hey, I do. I wouldn’t be standing here if I didn’t.” I hoped she’d believe my words. I loved her, although I didn’t know exactly how to express that feeling.
“What if I tell you that you can’t love me?” she asked, looking me straight in the eyes.
“Don’t ask me to do the impossible, Abigail.” When I said this, a weak smile appeared on her lips. I found myself smiling, too, and I slid my arms around her in a hug.
“I think there’s something wrong with me,” Abigail pulled away from the hug. “I mean, you killed my father and all those people, and I still fell in love with you.”
I had no response to that. Frankly, I thought she was crazy as well. How could she love me of all people?
“Tristan?” Abigail called, and a second later Tristan appeared beside her. “Do you think I’m crazy?”
Tristan laughed. “You lost me.”
“I must be crazy because I’m in love with Gideon, and he’s…well, you know who he is.”
I should have felt angry that the girl I was in love with thought she was crazy for loving me back, but I wasn’t. I would have been more bothered if she wasn’t reacting the way she was.
“You’re not crazy, and loving someone isn’t a crime,” Tristan said.
“What if that someone murdered your father?” she asked, turning her gaze to me. “Don’t get me wrong. I love you, and frankly, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop loving you, even if my life depended on it, and that’s why I’m scared. I mean, I must be crazy, right?”
I couldn’t answer. I knew she was being hard on herself because I told her that I was the one who killed her father. I wanted to tell her I didn’t, that I tried to save him, but what was the use? It wouldn’t bring her father back.
“Gideon didn’t kill your father,” Tristan said, and both Abigail and I turned to him.
“What? He didn’t?” Abigail looked confused now.
“After he saved you, he dived back into the water to save your father, but it was too late…he was already gone. And it wasn’t intentional that you saw him and he scared you. He didn’t mean to reveal himself.” I had almost forgotten that Tristan was there at the scene, and he could read my thoughts.
“You didn’t?” Abigail turned to me. “So I was the one who distracted my father because I screamed. And all the while I’ve been blaming you.”
“Hey.” I took her hands. “This wasn’t your fault. If you want to blame anyone, please blame me.”
“No, I can’t blame you. You tried to save him. You saved me, and I didn’t even thank you.”
“I didn’t tell you this so you could be sad, Abigail. I told you so you’d know Gideon didn’t take your father from you,” Tristan said.
Abigail walked over to him and said, “Thanks for telling me.” She hugged him. Afterwards she turned to me. “You weren’t going to tell me, were you?”
I shook my head. “I have a rep to protect.”
“That’s a stupid reason,” she said through what seemed like a happy voice. “I want to see it. I want to see your world.”
“Grands?” I asked surprisingly.
“I want to see where you’re from.”
Tristan asked, “Are you sure?”
Abigail nodded. “I am, so call the…” She paused. “How do you guys go back and forth? Is there a portal or an invisible bus or something?”
“We’re angels, Abigail,” I laughed. “We fly, or we simply think of the place and we’re there. We fly most of the time though because we all love to fly.”
“Flying?” she asked. She didn’t sound very excited, “I’m not a fan of heights.” I found myself laughing again.
“And you’re in love with an angel?” Tristan asked. “I think you have a problem.”
I laughed together with Tristan. The irony! I knew heights weren’t the only problem Abigail had gotten herself into. For one, she was in love with me, the evilest angel alive.