“Come here.” He said it softly. The command he could put into his voice was there and her heart beat faster.
Catarina slipped out of her chair before she could stop herself and went to stand in front of him. He caught her wrist and tugged her down onto his lap. His arm slid around her waist and pulled her tight against his body.
“Relax, baby. Just let me hold you for a minute.”
Another minute went by. She tried to hold out. It was insane to sit on his lap and allow this kind of intimacy. This wasn’t about sex at all. This was about comfort. Caring. She couldn’t do that with him.
“Settle, Kitten,” Eli insisted, his fingers easing the tension out of her neck.
When he did that, massaged her neck and shoulders, she turned to putty in his hands. She found herself melting into him in spite of her resolve to hold something of herself back.
“That’s my girl,” he whispered, and skimmed his mouth along her neck and then behind her ear. “Cordeau must have studied your family and realized that there was a good chance you were a shifter. Females are difficult to find. I should know, I traveled the world, all the rain forests, everywhere I knew that there were pockets of us left.”
He stroked her hair, and she fit her head more comfortably into his shoulder. He was a big man with the roped muscles of his kind, and he made her feel very safe. She knew she shouldn’t allow it, but she’d never had that luxury of safe before.
“He didn’t make any effort to spend time with you, or build a relationship. He went about his business, and when you needed a little love and guidance, he hurt you. He’s a rogue. You don’t understand that term and maybe you never should. Rogues aren’t allowed to live. Other shifters hunt them. We have our own police force for that.”
“Are you part of that?” she asked.
He didn’t answer her question. “I know I scare you, Kitten, but I’m not like Cordeau. Never like him. Do you understand?”
She wasn’t certain she did. “What do you mean when you say your leopard is hard to handle sometimes?”
He sighed. “His moods are fierce and passionate. Obviously they affect me. He’s bad-tempered and he doesn’t like bullshit. I have to keep a strong hold on him all the time.”
She wiggled to get free and was surprised when he let her go. Surprised and maybe a little disappointed. She slipped back in her chair and picked up her coffee cup again. The coffee was cold, but it gave her something to do.
“I want to see him. Your leopard. And I want to watch him run.” The moment she blurted it out, her heart began to pound. She hadn’t meant to say that, it just slipped out. She’d been thinking about it, but she wasn’t certain she was ready for it.
The smile faded from his face. He took the coffee cup from her hand and set it on the table and reached both hands to frame her face. “Catarina, you’re terrified of my leopard. Why would you ask to see him?”
There was no way to avoid his eyes. All amber. When he looked at her, she always felt like she was the only woman in his world and he didn’t see anything or anybody but her. That wasn’t the truth because he was always aware of everything around him, but still, he made her feel that way.
“I am afraid, Eli, I’m not going to lie. But I’ve only seen one in a rage and he hurt me. It hurt for weeks. I have nightmares about his leopard. I really thought I was going to die. And then on top of that, I believe absolutely that he allows the leopard to hunt and kill humans. People disappear and he’s suspected of getting rid of them, but no one can prove it. I’m terrified and I’ve got one in me. I don’t want to be a monster. I don’t want to live as a monster or knowing I’m living with one.”
He bent forward until his lips brushed hers. “I understand. I know a lot of shifters, Cat. I’ll introduce you to a few someday. They’re good people. They risk their lives to help people in trouble. Their leopards don’t hunt and kill anything human, nor does mine. I would never allow my leopard to hunt and kill for sport.”
Her heart was doing a strange fluttery thing again, just because he was so gentle with her. His kiss was featherlight, barely there, but she felt it all the way to her toes.
“You’ll show me then?”
“Why do you want to see him run free?”
She took in a deep breath, let it out. He was still holding her eyes and she couldn’t look away, so he would see how important it was to her. “I’ve never been truly free. If my leopard can do that, it might just be the greatest thing in the world.”