Cast into Doubt

EIGHT

They barely spoke on the drive back from the airport. When they arrived at the house, all the parking spots along the curb were taken. Rob pulled his pick-up truck beside a parked car and held his foot on the brake. ‘You can get out,’ he said. ‘I may have to park up the block.’

Shelby gazed at her daughter’s home. Winter pansies bloomed in Chloe’s carefully tended windowboxes. It was only a week ago, Shelby thought, that she had pulled up and seen her daughter waiting for her in front of that gray stone row home. It seemed like an eternity. ‘I’m dreading going in,’ she said.

Exhaustion and impatience were written all over Rob’s face. ‘You can wait outside if you want,’ he said.

‘No, I only meant . . . Never mind. I’ll go in. I have my key.’ Slowly, painfully, as if all her joints were frozen, Shelby forced herself to get out of the truck’s cab. She lifted her bag out of the truck bed and walked up to the front door, rolling her suitcase along behind her as Rob pulled away from the curb.

Shelby unlocked the slate-blue front door and it swung open into the cool darkness of the vestibule. She walked in and stood still, overwhelmed by her memories of Chloe.

Rob followed in a few minutes, dragging the suitcases. I better put this stuff away, he said. ‘Jeremy will be home any minute.’

‘Any minute?’ Shelby asked. ‘What do you mean? Aren’t we going to go and pick him up?’

Rob answered without looking at her. ‘I called Lianna when we landed in Philly. She offered to bring him over.’

Shelby’s stomach churned at the thought of Jeremy’s imminent arrival. She wasn’t ready. She didn’t want to hear Rob tell this small boy that his mother was gone forever. ‘Maybe you should call Lianna back and tell her we’ll come and get him.’

‘What for?’ Rob said. ‘They can bring him.’

‘I know. I understand,’ said Shelby. ‘I just thought—’

She was interrupted by a knock at the front door. ‘Probably them,’ said Rob. He went to the door and opened it. Two men in jackets and ties stood on the front step. They both displayed their police shields.

Rob stared at them. ‘Yes?’ he said.

‘Sir, I’m Detective Ortega. This is my partner, Detective McMillen. Can we trouble you for a minute?’

‘What for?’ Rob demanded.

‘Rob,’ Shelby protested. She knew that he was fed up with police, but his attitude was rude. ‘Please, come in,’ she said.

The two officers entered the living room. ‘Just back from a trip?’ said the younger one.

Rob and Shelby exchanged a glance. ‘Yes,’ said Shelby.

‘This won’t take long. We wondered if you would mind looking at this picture for us.’ He held out a photo of a man with short hair and vacant eyes. It was the sort of photo that hung on the post office wall – full face and profile. ‘Do you recognize this man?’

‘No. Who is he? What’s this got to do with us?’ Rob demanded.

‘His name’s Norman Cook. He recently escaped from a prison road crew out near Lancaster. He hijacked a car that just turned up in a municipal lot where it had been towed. When we found it, it had a parking ticket from this block on it. We’re canvassing the block to see if anyone knows this guy and can help us to find him. He could be very dangerous.’

Rob frowned and looked at the drawing more closely. ‘No. Can’t say that I’ve ever seen this guy.’ The officer showed it to Shelby.

Shelby shook her head. ‘Sorry. No.’

‘OK,’ said Detective Ortega. ‘Keep an eye peeled. If he does have a connection to someone on this block, he may return to the neighborhood. If you see him, please, give us a call. He’s a violent felon.’

‘Will do,’ said Rob.

The officers left and went on to the next house, although their black and white cruiser remained parked in a no parking zone across the street, its lights flashing.

Rob sighed. ‘All right. I’d better put these suitcases away before Jeremy sees them.’

‘We need more time,’ Shelby fretted.

Rob frowned at her. ‘Putting it off isn’t going to make it any easier,’ he said.

Shelby knew that he was right. She realized that she would have put it off forever, if only she could. To be useful, to stop herself from thinking, she took her bag back up to Molly’s room.

While she was unpacking, she heard the front door open, and a young voice called out ‘Dad?’

Shelby went to the top of the stairs and looked down.

Molly, dressed in a baggy sweatshirt and jeans, stood there uncertainly. She looked up and saw Shelby, and the teenager’s eyes widened behind her glasses. Without a word to Shelby she disappeared into the vestibule. As Shelby started down the stairs, she heard Molly calling out the front door to her mother. ‘Mom. Hurry up.’

Shelby followed her into the vestibule. ‘Come on in,’ Shelby said.

Molly avoided looking at Shelby, as if fearful she might be stricken by a curse if she met Shelby’s gaze. Molly edged past her into the living room. Rob came down the stairs and saw his daughter. He opened his arms and Molly flung herself against him, her cheek flattened against his shirt.

‘I’m sorry, Dad,’ she said, her voice muffled.

Rob stroked her unkempt hair tenderly, his gaze faraway. ‘Thanks, sweetheart. I know you are.’

Shelby walked out on to the front step and peered into the darkness. Lianna was leaning into the back seat of the car, which was double-parked in front of the house. The car’s flashers were blinking. Harris got out of the driver’s seat and waved to Shelby. He indicated the police car, its lights still flashing, parked illegally across the street, and frowned.

Shelby walked out to the curb. ‘Some escaped convict got a parking ticket on this block,’ she explained. ‘The police are looking for anyone who saw him.’

Harris grimaced. ‘That’s comforting,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘Welcome home.’

‘Life in the big city,’ said Shelby, trying to force a smile. ‘Thanks for bringing Jeremy home. We could have come for him.’

Lianna stood up and regarded Shelby frankly, her keen, gray eyes looking pained. ‘We were glad to do it. How are you holding up? You and Rob?’

Shelby shook her head. ‘Surviving.’

Lianna gazed at Shelby with genuine sympathy. ‘I swear, I don’t know how. I am so sorry,’ she said.

Shelby felt her tears well up, and she didn’t try to stop them. ‘Thank you,’ she said. She wiped her tears on her sleeve and took a deep breath. ‘I want to thank you so much for keeping Jeremy,’ she said, ‘so I could be there.’

‘We were glad to do it.’ Lianna frowned in the direction of the open car door and stepped away from it. She lowered her voice to almost a whisper. ‘About Jeremy. I think you should know . . .’

Shelby could see Jeremy’s legs inside the car, kicking into the back of the front seat. Harris came around and wedged himself into the space between the front and back seats. ‘Hey buddy,’ Harris said, as he reached down to unbuckle the car seat. ‘You’re home.’ He lifted the boy out, cradling him against his chest.

Jeremy looked over Harris’s shoulder at Shelby and blinked as if he could not believe his eyes.

‘Hi sweetie.’ Shelby reached up for her grandson, but Jeremy reared back, kicking his chubby leg at her.

‘No, Shep, I don’t want you. I don’t want you. I want Mommy,’ the child yelled, his face red.

‘Hey, slugger,’ Harris cajoled him. ‘Stop that now. Say hi to your grandmom.’

Jeremy began to scream. ‘No Shep. I want Mommy, I want Mommy, I want Mommy.’ Tears spurted from his eyes and he clutched Harris’s jacket with his fists. Harris kept a firm grip on the child.

Lianna spoke quietly to Shelby in her low, husky voice. ‘I’m so sorry. This is what I wanted to tell you. Some volunteer at that church school he goes to told him about Chloe. Some old biddy who helps out in the classroom. I don’t know what she was thinking. She said she was afraid the kids would tell him that his mother was drowned in the ocean and she had to explain it to him.’

Jeremy had buried his face against Harris’s shoulder. ‘Hey there buddy,’ Harris murmured. ‘Everybody wants to see you.’

‘NO. I won’t,’ Jeremy insisted.

‘He’s just upset,’ said Harris to Shelby. ‘Let me carry him inside.’

Shelby glanced back at the row house. Rob was in the doorway, comforting Molly. Shelby took a deep breath. ‘I’ll do it,’ she said. As Shelby reached for him, Jeremy began to strike at her with his little, balled-up fists. His face was as red as a tomato. Ignoring Jeremy’s angry blows, his kicking, sneakered feet, Shelby lifted her grandson from Harris’s arms.

‘Put me down,’ Jeremy insisted.

‘Maybe he wants to walk,’ Lianna suggested as Jeremy continued to kick and punch his grandmother. A teenage driver in a low-slung car with a loud boom box pulled up behind Harris’s late model sedan. Between the illegally parked police cruiser and Harris’s doubleparked Lexus, there was no room to get by.

‘Molly,’ Shelby called out to the girl who was still huddled beneath her father’s arm in the front doorway, ‘can you get Jeremy’s stuff for me?’

Molly nodded and hurried down to the car. Harris opened the trunk and began to hand Molly her brother’s belongings.

Lianna wrapped her arms around her own, slightly expanded waist and walked up to Rob. They spoke awkwardly. Shelby could see that Rob was saying something to his ex-wife, and she was nodding, staring at the ground.

The teenager honked his horn.

Harris turned and glared at the young driver. ‘Keep your pants on,’ he said to him. Then he turned back to Shelby. ‘Are you sure you don’t want me to carry him?’ Harris asked.

Shelby shook her head. She thought of all the times as a young mother when she had been flummoxed by Chloe’s angry outbursts. Inexperienced with children, inexperienced with life, she would try to placate Chloe, which only served to make the child more furious. Shelby felt none of that uncertainty with her grandson. She knew that he was suffering. She held the flailing child close as he pummeled her. ‘It’s not necessary. I’ve got him.’

Molly emerged from the trunk carrying Jeremy’s bags of clothes and toys. ‘Hey, Jeremy, you want to keep some toys for the next time you come over?’ Molly asked her brother gently.

‘No,’ Jeremy retorted. ‘Leave me alone.’

‘You come see us again soon,’ Harris said kindly to Jeremy.

‘NO,’ Jeremy shouted.

‘We love you, Jeremy,’ Molly said in a small voice.

‘Thank you, Molly,’ said Shelby. ‘Thank you both. For everything.’

The teenage driver leaned on his horn again, and Harris shook his head.

‘Go on. You go ahead,’ said Shelby.

‘Are you sure you’re all right?’ asked Harris.

‘We’ll be all right,’ said Shelby in a determined voice.

Jeremy bellowed in protest and twisted furiously, trying to escape from her arms.

‘Jeremy, I’m not going to let you go,’ Shelby whispered, but it was a promise, not a threat. ‘Shep’s here now. And Daddy. Daddy has missed you so much. And listen. Your Dad and I are gonna stay right here with you. We’re gonna take care of everything. You’ll see. It’s gonna be all right.’ She was not sure if that was true. But she knew that she had to try and make him believe it.

Lianna and Molly got back into the car. Harris gave the teenage driver behind him a disgusted glance, as if daring him to honk again. Then he slid into the driver’s seat and turned off the flashers. Lianna and Molly waved as he pulled away from the curb. ‘Bye Jeremy,’ Lianna called out sadly. ‘Bye honey.’

Jeremy suddenly stopped struggling and stiffened. He watched the car’s disappearing taillights longingly. Then he gasped, and began to sob anew. ‘I want M . . . mommy,’ he wailed. Shelby pulled him close, and felt his wet tears against her ear, in her hair. She could feel his small heart beating frantically, close to hers, and his grieving cry pierced Shelby’s heart like an arrow. She felt the warmth of his feverish little body radiating against hers.

Rob appeared at her side, and reached for his son. Jeremy reared back and turned his wrathful gaze on his father. ‘Why is Mommy gone? How come Mommy fell in the water?’ he demanded, pointing a pudgy finger at him.

‘I don’t know, son,’ Rob said, opening his arms to the boy.

Jeremy turned his back on his father and huddled against Shelby. ‘You didn’t bring her home. You shoulda brought her home.’

Shelby’s heart was beating fast, and she couldn’t bring herself to look at Rob.

‘I should have,’ Rob said. ‘I know.’