Cast into Doubt

FIFTEEN

‘Shep?’

Shelby, who was making dinner while she mentally relived her failed visit to the AA meeting in the Old City, looked over at her grandson. ‘What is it, honey?’ she asked.

Jeremy was sitting at the kitchen table, laboring over a drawing of his favorite thing, a pirate ship. He did not look up at her. ‘You live here now, right?’ he said.

Shelby grimaced at the question. ‘Well, for right now,’ Shelby said. ‘One of these days I will have to go back to my own house.’

‘Why?’ said Jeremy.

‘Well, because that’s where I have all my things. You know my house. Mommy brought you there lots of times. With the big windows over the river. And you’ll come visit me there. And stay over.’

‘No, Shep. Bring your things here. You don’t leave,’ Jeremy insisted.

‘I’m not leaving now. I’m still right here, honey,’ Shelby said.

Jeremy glowered. ‘Not ever.’

‘Let’s not worry about it right now. There’s plenty of time,’ she said.

But it was too late. Jeremy pushed his markers off the table with an angry swipe of his arm and they clattered loudly to the floor. ‘No,’ he insisted. ‘No, no.’

Shelby tried to soothe him. ‘I can’t stay forever, sweetie.’

‘Why not?’ he demanded.

‘Well, Molly needs to get her room back, for one thing.’

Jeremy slid off the chair and stamped his foot. ‘I don’t want Molly. I want you.’

Rob had heard the racket and come into the kitchen. He scowled at Shelby as the boy burst into helpless tears. ‘What did you say that for?’ he demanded. He turned to the child. ‘This is not about Molly,’ Rob insisted as he tried to calm his furious son. ‘Shep has her own house. And she has to go back to work. She’ll be able to come and see you.’

Too late, Shelby realized that Rob was perfectly right. She should not have mentioned Molly. And she had miscalculated with Jeremy who, it had to be said, didn’t require much provocation to erupt these days.

‘Your dad’s right,’ said Shelby. ‘I do have to go back to my own house. But I’m not going right this minute.’

Rob shook his head, as if her second effort had been no better than her first.

‘I’ll always be here for you Jeremy.’ Shelby said. ‘Anytime you need me.’

It was no use. The child was sobbing now, and not hearing a word she said.

Rob sat down beside him and pulled his son roughly on to his lap, rocking him despite his tearful, angry protests. ‘It’s all right, slugger,’ he said. ‘You’re just missing Mommy. I understand. We all miss her so much.’

Shelby watched Rob trying to soothe his son. Do you, she wondered? Do you miss her? Or was this your plan? It had always seemed that Rob and Chloe had been building the life they both wanted. But was that just another illusion? What if he had another plan, that she knew nothing about. Did you say that Chloe was an alcoholic so that the police would believe that she fell, she wondered? So that you could get away with murder? No. No. It wasn’t possible.

For a moment Shelby hated herself for even thinking such a thing. At that moment she wanted to confess to Rob that she had hired Perry to investigate Chloe’s death.

But her nagging doubts stopped her, and she held her tongue.

Two days later, as she returned from dropping Jeremy off at preschool, her cell phone rang.

‘Hello,’ she said.

‘Shelby, it’s Perry. I have some information for you.’

Shelby sank down on to one of the kitchen chairs. ‘Yes? What is it, Perry?’ she asked.

‘Well, as I predicted, Sunset Cruise Line refuses to give us the ship’s manifest.’

Shelby shook her head angrily. ‘I just don’t get that. How is that fair?’

Perry did not attempt to answer her question. ‘They were not completely oppositional. They sent me a record of the shipboard access cards that Rob and Chloe used. There’s no question that Chloe was, indeed, buying alcoholic beverages on the cruise. They have her signature on the bills.’

‘I see,’ said Shelby, deflated, thinking of Glen’s theory.

‘And, Rob’s card shows that he did not enter their state room until the hour he said. The security tapes confirm this. They were forwarded to my computer without delay. I looked at the tapes of the night in question. Rob can be seen leaving the salon where the sports trivia quiz was held. Not ten minutes later, he contacted a steward to ask for help.’

Shelby was silent, mulling this over, thinking that one could commit a deadly crime in ten minutes.

‘I spoke to Chief Giroux in St Thomas. They did give him a lie detector test. At his own request.’

‘I thought those weren’t reliable,’ Shelby said stubbornly.

‘It depends on a lot of factors. Let’s just say this: if he failed the test, we would certainly take it seriously.’

‘But he didn’t.’

‘No,’ said Perry. ‘He passed.’

Shelby chewed the inside of her mouth. ‘What else?’

‘Apparently, on board ship, they have roving photographers who snap pictures which they sell to the passengers as souvenirs. It gives us a photographic record of just about all the people on the ship. They emailed those photos to me and I just forwarded them to your computer. Of course, you will have to look individually at every picture to see if there was a familiar face. There’s really no other way.’

‘I’ll look at them,’ she said.

‘The reward has been posted. So far, no response.’

‘I keep wondering . . .’

‘What?’ Perry asked.

‘Do you think it’s possible that she might have survived?’ Shelby said. ‘I mean, people have jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and survived. I looked it up. Why not a cruise ship? It isn’t even as high . . .’

Perry was silent for a moment. ‘Is the search ongoing?’ he asked.

‘No,’ Shelby admitted. ‘I agreed to call it off. They said it was hopeless.’

‘I think that’s the logical conclusion,’ Perry said. ‘I’m afraid survival would be possible only if someone saw the fall. If they immediately began rescue operations.’

He did not need to remind her that Chloe had fallen, unseen, into the water. ‘You agree that there’s no chance,’ said Shelby.

‘I can’t say that. I’m not the Almighty. All I’m saying is that I don’t think her husband is lying about what happened. He clearly wasn’t lying about her drinking. I think he has told the truth about the situation as he knows it.’

Shelby’s eyes filled with tears of frustration. ‘I guess I should be glad for that. He’s my grandson’s father. I wouldn’t want to think that he was capable . . .’

‘You need to look through the photos taken on the ship and see if any familiar faces jump out at you. And we may still get some information after people read about the reward.’

‘I will,’ said Shelby. But the familiar tide of hopelessness swept over her. Even though she had gotten out of bed only hours before, she felt unbelievably weary. She thanked Perry, and ended the call. Then, she trudged up the stairs to Molly’s room, lay down on the bed, and pulled up the lovely quilt that Chloe had made. Curled into a fetal position, the sun shining brightly on her through the window, she soon fell asleep.

She was awakened by the sound of the front door opening. Shelby sat up, her heart pounding, feeling completely disoriented. She glanced at the clock. It wasn’t someone bringing Jeremy. It wasn’t time. She tried to get her bearings as she rolled off the bed, and hurried to the top of the stairs. She thought, for a moment, of those detectives who had come by the night they got back looking for an escaped felon. Maybe he was here. Maybe he had come back to the neighborhood. Stop it, she thought. Stop psyching yourself out. Get a grip. She tried to summon an authoritative tone.

‘Who is it?’ she demanded. Despite her best efforts, her voice quavered.

‘It’s me,’ said Rob.

‘Oh my God, you frightened me,’ she said accusingly. She came down the stairs smoothing her hair with one hand.

Rob was standing in the living room with his arms crossed over his chest.

‘What are you doing home from work?’ Shelby asked.

‘It’s time you were leaving,’ he said.

Shelby was taken aback, and somewhat insulted. ‘Why? What’s the matter?’

‘I know what you’re up to,’ he said.

Shelby was perplexed. ‘What I’m up to?’

Rob shook his head. ‘Don’t,’ he said. ‘Don’t play dumb. I’m talking about your private detective,’ he said.

Shelby reddened and did not reply.

‘Oh, you’re not going to deny it?’ he asked in a taunting tone.

Shelby’s temper flared. ‘No. Why should I deny it?’

It was Rob’s turn to be silent.

‘I asked a friend to see if he could learn anything more about what happened to Chloe,’ Shelby explained.

‘You mean you asked him to find out if I pushed her overboard,’ Rob said accusingly.

‘No. I defended you,’ she protested.

Rob’s laugh was a cynical bark of disgust. ‘Defended me?’

‘No. I was thinking that maybe it was someone . . .’ She started to recount her visit from Janice Pryor, but she could see in his eyes that he was not listening. ‘How did you find out about this anyway?’ she asked.

‘I got a call at work today. From someone in public relations at Sunset Cruises. Your private detective had called demanding information, and they were calling me to threaten me, basically, to stop harassing them. Of course, it was news to me that there was a private detective involved.’

Shelby tried to control the tremor in her voice. ‘I asked the head of security at Markson’s to do some background checks on the crew. And to study the surveillance tapes. He also posted a reward for me, for information.’

Rob held up one hand as if to beg her to stop. ‘I don’t want to hear it,’ he said. ‘You think I’m to blame. Ever since it happened, I’ve known that. Don’t think I didn’t. But you’ve gone too far now.’

Shelby looked at him with narrowed eyes. ‘We’re talking about my daughter’s death here. How far should I go? Pardon me for not accepting the official version of events without question. Come to think of it, how come you do?’

‘I want you out of my house,’ he said. ‘I want you out now.’

Shelby suddenly realized that she might have to leave without saying goodbye to her grandson. ‘What about Jeremy?’ she demanded. ‘He’ll be very upset.’

‘I’ll explain it to Jeremy,’ he insisted. ‘Just go.’

Shelby didn’t know whether to obey him or not. It was his house of course. He could forbid her to see Jeremy. He could cut off her visits with Jeremy, her last link to Chloe, if he wanted to.

‘Look,’ she said. ‘Can we just talk this over?’

The expression in Rob’s eyes was poisonous. ‘Shelby, I never wanted you here in the first place. Out of respect for Chloe’s memory – because I knew she would want me to – I let you stay. But that was before you hired a detective to go sifting through my life, looking for a reason why I killed my wife.’

‘I should have told you,’ she admitted. ‘I thought it might upset you. I figured if he found out anything important, I would tell you then.’

Rob shook his head. ‘At least be honest with yourself,’ he said disgustedly. ‘Admit you blame me for Chloe’s death.’

‘No,’ Shelby insisted stubbornly. ‘I just want to get to the truth.’

‘I told you the truth. You just don’t want to hear it. Chloe was an alcoholic. Just like your mother. She was doing her best to keep it in the road, but when she got on that ship with a bar every fifteen feet, and all the passengers drinking night and day, she lost it.’

‘In other words, if you hadn’t gone on the cruise . . .’ Shelby exclaimed.

‘We were fine. We were doing OK. But you wished she’d married some rich husband who could take her on cruises. When I couldn’t afford that kind of nonsense, you gave her the cruise, just to make your point.’

Shelby shook her head. ‘That is completely not true, Rob. I gave it to you because I remembered what it was like to have a small child and no money to spare. I just wanted you two to enjoy yourselves.’

Rob shook his head. ‘Go pack.’

Shelby felt almost physically assaulted but she wasn’t going to argue any more. She was not going to give him the satisfaction. She did not look at him as she started up the stairs to get her things.

His voice followed her up the stairs. ‘If you’re so busy looking for someone to blame, try looking in the mirror.’