“No, and thankfully there weren’t any surveillance cameras on the inside of the private wing at that time to refute Darling’s confession. And once Darling started the ruse, his mother seized on it. She used him to cover all her lovers from that point on, and he had no choice except to claim them or watch her die.”
Zarya winced at the cruelty of forcing someone to live a lie over something so ridiculous. The woman should have never put him in that position. How could any mother do such a thing?
She couldn’t imagine the horror of being trapped in his situation. But it went a long way in explaining many idiosyncrasies about Darling that she’d noted while they dated. His knowledge of fashion. His excessive cleaniness, especially compared to her brother who’d lived his life like he’d learned hygiene from bears. “No one ever suspected the truth?”
He shook his head glumly. “They didn’t care. People love dirt and rather than judge for themselves, they prefer to believe the trash spewed by others. From the moment word got out that he was homosexual, and it flew fast, Darling was ostracized over it. Whenever we had state functions and events we had to attend, the other boys refused to dress in the same room with him. They treated him like he was diseased and contagious. Threw things at him as he passed by, and insulted him constantly. No one wanted to talk to him or be near him for fear of being accused of homosexuality, too. I remember the first time he sat down in a prince’s dining hall after word had spread. Everyone at the table, including those he’d considered his friends, got up and moved away. I’ll never forget the look on his face as he sat there, alone, his head held high and his jaw locked to keep from showing any emotion while he ate as they mocked him.”
“What did you do?”
Tears glistened in his eyes as he looked away from her. “To my eternal shame, nothing whatsoever.” He flinched and squeezed his eyes shut as if trying to banish an even worse memory.
When he met her gaze again, the bitterness there stung her. “Because I am gay, and others had long suspected it, I was even more terrified of having that allegation thrown at me. I saw how they treated Darling and I didn’t want any part of that abuse. So like everyone else, I avoided him in public. He told me that he understood, and that he didn’t want me to talk to him anywhere others might see us. He said it was safer that way for me. But even so, I could tell it hurt him that I avoided him like they did. That I’d be standing or sitting with those who mocked him while he stood alone in the crowd.” A single tear slid down his cheek. “You have no idea how much I hate myself for that cowardice. I abandoned him to their hatred when I should have stood by his side, regardless. What kind of friend am I to ignore him while others cursed and mocked him?”
“He understood, Maris.”
“But that doesn’t make it right, does it?”
No, it didn’t. Zarya patted his arm in sympathy. She couldn’t imagine how awful it must have been for Darling to face that at his age. Puberty was hard enough when you fit in. To have something like that make you a target to your peers…
It was hell.
And for it to be a lie…
No wonder he hated his mother. He was more than justified.
“Didn’t any of the adults do anything to help him?”
Maris shook his head. “They were even worse than the kids. And they turned a blind eye to how he was treated, even when it was right under their noses. Every time he moved, Darling had to fight someone over it. And his uncle was the most brutal of all. Anytime Arturo saw a man in the palace he didn’t recognize or one anywhere near Darling, he accused Darling of sleeping with him. And when Darling was sixteen…” He flinched as if someone had hit him.
Her own stomach tightened in reflex. “What?”
His breathing ragged, Maris’s eyes blazed with fury. “Arturo sent him to a mental institution for it.”
She gaped at his disclosure. A mental institution? She’d ask him if he was serious, but she could see that answer clearly enough. “How could he do that?”
“He was the acting governor,” Maris said simply. “Absolute power and authority. He demanded the doctors use aversion therapy to cure Darling of his homosexuality.”
“I don’t understand. What’s aversion therapy?”
Maris couldn’t even meet her gaze.
When he finally spoke, his voice was thick and constrained. “It’s where they inflict severe pain, and use negative reinforcement to cause someone to alter their behavior.”
“Like putting pepper sauce on a child’s thumb to keep them from sucking it?” Her father had done that to her when she was six. To this day, she couldn’t look at a pepper without cringing.
Maris toyed with the edge of his sleeve, but he still refused to meet her gaze. “General idea, but much worse. The point is to make the activity so repugnant and horrifying that the patient never wants to do it again.”
Biting her lip, she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear anything more.
Unfortunately, he didn’t stop there. “That was how Darling lost his virginity… and it wasn’t to a woman.”