Between the Lives

chapter FOUR


Wellesley, Friday



I stared at myself in the mirror as Miriam styled my hair. Blessedly the rest of the day had coursed by in its usual predictable way, helping me get on top of things again. Now everything was perfectly on schedule. Even the afternoon flash storm had come, flashed, and gone away with barely a trace.

‘Honestly, Sabine, if you would just let us put a colour through it. I swear your hair would look amazing platinum blonde.’

The worst part is, I agreed. I’d love to go either way – to Miriam’s beautiful blonde or Lucy’s gorgeous rich brown. But I just shook my head.

‘I like it the way it is,’ I said confidently.

‘Yes, but a change is as good as a holiday and you could do with a serious vacation!’ Miriam persisted.

‘No, I really couldn’t,’ I mumbled. Change was not my friend.

‘What?’ Miriam asked, pausing with the brush mid-stroke.

‘Nothing. You’re right. Maybe after graduation or something,’ I lied. But at least it stopped the conversation.

When she’d finished, I slipped into my dress and strappy high heels and almost laughed at what the other-me would think of herself looking like this. I smoothed down the beautiful green silk on the understated but sexy halter-neck dress, which showed off my figure and said to the world: I’m not a schoolgirl anymore. Finally. I felt myself smile, knowing that although it had taken twice as long as everyone else I was at last reaching a landmark moment in my life.

Things would become easier for me as an adult. I wouldn’t have to hide as much. Dumb it down. Not have an opinion on issues I shouldn’t be concerned with. Things would get better. They had to.

And then I swallowed hard, knowing that out of everyone I was best at lying to myself.

‘Right,’ I said, pulling myself together. ‘Mission Mother.’

Lucy and Miriam followed me downstairs. Miriam looked divine in a knee-length cream dress that fit snug to her body and kicked out at the bottom. The intricate beading that snaked its way from the low-cut back, petering off towards the bottom hem, set off the fabric perfectly. Lucy had gone for the fresh look with a spaghetti-strap peach dress. Also stunning. Together we were kind of rocking it.

We posed for some photos to satisfy Mom – then a few more after Lyndal, Mom’s sister and best friend, arrived. Finally we managed to get them into the car, promising we would behave. In return they promised they would stay away until 2 a.m. It was the time we’d settled on over the last three weeks. Mom’s midnight suggestion was never really an option if my social standing was to be upheld, and my 4 a.m. opening offer was only on the table so we could meet at the middle. Two o’clock was respectable, and it was all I could be bothered with anyway.

When I walked out to the pool area where everyone would gather in the next half hour, I was stunned.

‘Oh my god,’ I gasped, for once not faking it.

Lucy was jumping up and down. ‘Legendary. I told you,’ she beamed.

‘Lucy. Did you …? How …? How did you …?’

‘Actually most of it was your mom. She asked me the other day how all the preparations were going and when I told her some of my grand vision, she offered to help.’

Miriam glided up to one of the three perspex walkways that hovered over our long pool – lit from beneath with sunken balls of light – and lifted her hand to catch a stray bubble floating out from one of the many discreetly placed bubble machines.

‘My mother did this?’

‘Most of it.’ Lucy nodded.

‘Wow,’ I said, taking in the hundreds – no, thousands – of tiny fairy lights scattered all through the gardens: in the tall maple trees and down in the garden beds, lighting pathways and wrapping around the hedges along the pool. The entire backyard was alive with a beautiful, fairy-like glow. ‘It’s breathtaking.’



By ten, I was drunk.

The boys had delivered in the drinks department, arriving right on time with two vans full of alcohol. God knows how they managed to get hold of everything, but they had – and they were, as always, manly proud of their efforts. I was surprised they refrained from beating their chests as they unloaded the loot. Champagne, kegs and vodka-punch were set up on the makeshift bar in the pool house. Before long, the entire backyard was flooded with laughing, drinking, dancing eighteen year olds. And every time I turned around, Dex was there, looking handsome and with a full glass in hand to exchange for my empty one.

I knew what he was doing. He’d been waiting a long time and I hadn’t made it altogether easy. But I wasn’t going to sleep with him tonight, so I took the drinks and let him kiss me up to second number ten on a number of occasions. The effects of the drinks even helped me relax enough to let him go up to second eighteen a few times. But then I discovered that other things happened to Dex’s body after second fifteen …

I went back to calling it quits at ten seconds shortly after.

It was a mystery how many people actually turned up. At least the hundred and fifty Lucy had predicted. At some point there might have been more, but just my luck, my other brother, Lucas, turned up sometime before midnight. He offered to keep an eye on things and help pull the plug on the party at 2 a.m. before Mom turned up.

‘Did Mom tell you to come?’ I was a touch offended I hadn’t been trusted.

Lucas shoved his hands in his pockets. It was his standard uninviting pose, the one that always made me feel as though he thought I was beneath him or something. ‘No. Just thought you might need some help if things got out of hand.’

‘Oh.’ I eyed him suspiciously, knowing it wouldn’t be out of character for Mom to have sent him. But Lucas generally told the truth, so I let it go. ‘Do you want a drink?’

‘No. Not really my crowd.’ It was a dig. Lucas approved of very little when it came to me. He thought I was a spoiled brat who got everything she wanted.

If only he knew.

Then again, it wasn’t like any crowd was his type. Lucas, with his broody-yet-clean-cut look, was as much of a loner as anyone in this town could get away with. I think that’s why he chose to go live with Dad. It meant he could avoid having to deal with more than one other person on a continuous basis.

‘I’ll just go hang out in the front room. If you need me, come get me.’ With that, he walked stiffly past me, leaving space between us as if we were strangers instead of brother and sister.

‘Thanks, Luc,’ I said to his back, which earned me a semi-shrug in return.

Lucas and I didn’t often see eye to eye, but unlike Ryan I tended to trust him. Even if he didn’t particularly like me, he was honest and I knew he’d do as he promised. It was hard to remember that sometimes there was only two years between us. Part of me wished he’d just grab a drink and have a chat with me, loosen up. But simply making an appearance was about as friendly as Lucas could manage, so I let him hide away in the front room, knowing that at least with him there I could relax and enjoy the party.

At 11.30, I was itching for an out. It had always been part of my plan – to just slip away for a while so I could go through the Shift in private. But when I started searching for rooms, there was someone, or someones, in all of them. I barged into my own room only to bolt back out when I got an eyeful of Brett and Miriam – which was no doubt now permanently scorched into my memory.

‘Shit,’ I said to myself over and over. It was 11.50 p.m. and I was still desperately pushing through hordes of people trying to find a private space to Shift worlds. But there was nowhere, even the bathrooms had queues of people waiting.

‘Shit, shit, shit.’

I picked up the pace, heart racing. Only one option left. I headed for the basement door through the kitchen, passing an almost topless chick I did not, thank god, recognise surrounded by three guys I did recognise trying to talk her into letting them do shots off her. I threw them a disgusted look before I pushed through the door and stumbled down the stairs in the dark. I just needed to find somewhere quiet. Midnight was only a few minutes away and I needed to be at least sitting down. I felt around in the dark, my arm jerking away when it caught on something sharp. I gasped, feeling the sting, and grabbed at my arm, trying to see how bad it was.

The door at the top of the stairs opened, spearing just enough light into the room to glimpse the blood beading from the cut on my forearm. I looked up in time to see the light disappear behind someone who had let the door close behind him.

‘Sabine?’

Shit. It was Dex. I considered not answering, holding my breath and pretending no one was home. But he’d obviously seen me come in. Hell, he could probably hear my pounding heart from where he was. Could things get any more out of control?

‘Down here. I’m just … I’m …’ Just hiding in the basement in the pitch dark so I can Shift between my two lives in private.

‘Needed a minute?’ he suggested.

I considered telling him about my arm to distract him, but quickly ruled it out – he’d just insist on taking me up to the kitchen to clean it. The Shift was so close I wanted to be sick. ‘Yeah. I’m just … you know. I’ll be back up in a minute.’ But then I half jumped, because he’d followed my voice and was right in front of me. His arms slid around my waist. ‘Ah, Dex …’

‘Shh. I know you don’t want to tonight. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do other … things.’ His hand slid up my side, grazing the edge of my breast. I fought back the urge to swat his arm away.

‘Dex, I just … I think I’m drunk,’ I tried, which was true and not helping at all at that moment. I knew I only had about a minute left to get out of the situation, but my stupid mind wouldn’t work. My airways felt like they were closing in on me.

I wriggled a bit, but since Dex chose that instant to move closer, he interpreted it in the very wrong way.

His voice deepened. ‘I’m good to wait until you’re ready, but just so you know … I’m ready whenever you are.’

Evidently.

I opened my mouth to tell him I needed to be alone, but I was too slow and his mouth was on mine and suddenly I was up against something uncomfortable.

Oh no. No, no, no. This isn’t happening.

But it was.

On second four, his hand tightened on my waist … and I Shifted.