“What now?” I whisper.
“Oh, he’ll probably populate the world with demons, that kind of thing.”
“I didn’t mean that, Alek. I meant with us and in our life.”
“Our life?” He gives a short laugh. “You showed me there’s no us when you ran to your angel.”
“I didn’t run to him! I ran through a door and he was there!”
“To pick you up and make everything better with his shiny energy,” he says harshly.
“What the hell? Alek, don’t be like that about Finn. He has his reasons, but there are no feelings between us. He can’t even touch me! And he’s not you! I care about you a hell of a lot!”
“Well, he didn’t kill you, so you must mean something to him!” Alek shouts back.
The urge to fight this, to push through his barriers and have him open up, takes over. He doesn’t get to walk away from this, not after everything we’ve been through.
“Everything is so simple to you, isn’t it? Locked in your own world for years; you haven’t got a clue how to deal with things not being black and white.”
Alek drains the contents of the bottle, chest rising and falling rapidly, and I tense. I’ve pushed too far. He slams the bottle on the kitchen bench and glares. “I bargained with demons to save my sister’s soul! Of course my view of the world is warped! You’re the one with the fucking problem, thinking you’re still living a human life! You’re fucking dead, Rose. Resurrected into a vampire, and by an angel. How fucked-up is that?”
“Don’t talk to me like that!” I shove him in the chest; it’s not the swearing, but the truth in his words that upset me.
“Leave me alone!” He spins around.
I squeeze past him and stand in the doorway. “You don’t get to leave!”
Alek looks down at me, and for the first time ever, something in his demeanour is a genuine threat. “You did.”
“And I let Finn bring me back! Not for him, for you! Because you came for me, you helped me. You’re the one person who understands what I am, what life will always be like. I made the choice between an eternity trapped alone in the Void or one struggling here with you.” I slam both my hands into his chest. “Don’t you dare close me out!”
Alek rubs his hand across his mouth and lets go of the guarded expression. His eyes are pained, breathing rapid, but not because of anger anymore. He slumps against the wall, letting go.
Hesitantly, I touch his face. “Alek. Are you really okay?”
“I don’t know. I don’t feel any different after…Dante. I’m tired, hungry…”
I squeeze back the tears in my eyes. “So am I; I never have been before.”
His face softens. “Shit. Really?”
“Yes, shit, really. We need to feed and have nothing to give to each other.”
Alek takes my hand from his face and squeezes my fingers. “But we have each other, right?”
I nod, biting back tears. He winds an arm around my waist to pull me closer. I rest my head against the defined muscles of his chest, against the heart that beats inside someone not human. Someone like me. I tip my head and press my lips against Alek’s, waiting for the jolt. There’s nothing, just the buzz of putting my mouth on someone I ache to kiss. His arms tighten around my waist and he pushes his mouth against mine, soft at first and then harder as he holds me closer. With no energy to share and nothing to give, we’re reduced to two weakened people finding strength in each other’s embrace. But nothing Alek does in his life is gentle. He grabs my face in both hands, deepening his kiss and tearing my breath away the way he once tore my energy.
I sink into him, into our desperate kisses, wishing we could always be enclosed in each other and lost in our corner of this crazy world, instead of the reality we’re in. The genuine affection and comfort is at odds with the overriding need to consume each other physically. This new bond has followed us from our frightening journey to the edge of the Void and if we allow it, we’ve come back stronger.
Low voices travel from the lounge room. Kat is talking to Finn. I hadn’t considered they might still be in the house. I draw away from Alek and indicate we should go into the other room. Alek releases me and we go to the others. Finn looks between us in surprise but says nothing. Kat has taken residence under a blanket on the sofa and is intently watching TV.
The house of secrets I walked into a few short weeks ago holds more than it did. There’re four of us now; and between us, we’ve unleashed something. Not only something that threatens the world, but something that tears into the strange half-lives we live. These severed connections are as dangerous as the remaining pieces holding us together. These pieces are a need blended with distrust and unhappiness. From this, we have to move on and fix what we’ve created whilst trying to live with who we are.