The black and white world of the house returns, fading in and out the same as when I was conscious. The room is empty now; nothing else exists in the Void parallel to this part of the world. Absently, I wonder why I haven’t ended up in the waiting rooms from last time. Did I skip that part this time? How? Like last time, I’m drawn to the room upstairs.
I don’t get far. This time, I don’t wake up soaked by a glass of water but by Alek’s mouth on mine. Snapping my eyes open, I stare straight into his expressionless ones. The energy crackles between us, weaker than usual but tangible still. There’s no urge to kiss him back, my weakened body able to take what he’s giving me and no more.
Alek pulls his mouth from mine and steps away. “I can’t give her anymore,” he says flatly. Finn is sitting in the armchair opposite and to my surprise, Kat still exists. She’s on the floor, back pressed against the wall, looking round with her usual wide-eyed confusion. “You should’ve listened and left. All of you.”
“I think you’ll find I can’t,” retorts Kat.
“And you should be grateful I left you some energy so you’re not back in the Void,” Alek replies.
I push myself up, filled with relief and ready to speak to him but without looking at me, Alek turns toward the hallway. Seconds later, his familiar, heavy footsteps climb the stairs.
“He left,” I say, to myself more than the two others in the room. “Why did he walk away?”
“He’s angry,” says Kat, quietly. “I felt it from him when he…” She rubs her mouth and grimaces. “Yeah.”
I look at my shaking hands, at the pale nail beds and know Alek is angry with me. He has every reason to be. The trembling extends through my body, the weakness remains. A hunger I never felt before gnaws.
“I’ll stay, Rose,” Finn says softly. “I’ll help, until Alek is ready to.”
“What if he never is?” What if he returns to his solitude and pain? How can any of us know what this has done to him?
Dragging myself to my feet, I stumble to the stairs and hang onto the handrail as I haul myself up. Alek’s music breaks the tense silence of the house, the deafening 90s indie rock I’ve been subjected to for weeks.
Either he can’t hear me when I hammer on his door or he’s ignoring me.
There’s a silent pause between tracks. I yell his name and bang, but he doesn’t respond, so I slump down and rest against the wall by his door. I wait for an hour, dozing until Finn comes up the stairs and tells me to go to bed. The world stayed in colour when I was half-asleep and didn’t retreat into the greys of the Void so I agree, too exhausted to worry about Finn and Kat or what happens next.
Chapter 32
ROSE
The chamomile tea steams around my face as I hold the mug close, warming my nose. The streets are silent in the early hours, and I’m cold beneath my flannel pyjamas. I’ve waited for half an hour, maybe Alek won’t come tonight. In the early days, this became a semi-ritual - me and my chamomile tea, Alek and his beer. But the early days are gone.
Footsteps descend the stairs, and my stomach flips in anticipation. Alek appears in the doorway dressed in grey sweats and a grey T-shirt, and his well-practiced neutral expression masks his emotions. I watch him from over the top of my mug, willing him not to turn and leave again. Huffing, he pulls a beer from the fridge and sits opposite me. We drink, regarding each other quietly for a minute.
“Are you okay?” I ask him eventually.
“Fine, thanks, Casper.”
The irritation at him using that nickname melds with a sick feeling - he’s pushed me out. “Alek…”
“If you mean am I still a demonic creature, then yeah, I am.” He swigs.
“I don’t care. So am I. The only thing bothering me is if you’re okay after what happened.”
Alek flicks his tongue against his teeth. “We’re not the same, Rose. I thought we were, but we’re not.”
“Because I was created by Finn?” I ask quietly. “We always knew that.”
“Perhaps, I didn’t fully understand what that meant until someone spelled it out. You’re more him than me.” He sets the bottle down. “Literally.”
Reaching across the table, I curl my hand around his. “You’re important to me.”
He pulls his hand away. “Yeah? Is that why you left me?”
“I panicked.”
He snorts softly. “Panicked.”
“Yes, Alek, panicked. A logical reaction to a demon threatening me, don’t you think?”
“Whatever, Casper.” He stands and picks up his beer.
I stand, too, and move around the table.. “Don’t close me out; tell me what happened. After Dante arrived, I thought you’d died…gone.”
“I did what I was asked, debt paid.” He gulps his beer.
“What debt?”
He stares past me at the kitchen window. “My sister. And I’m not saying any more.”
I ache to reach out to him, but he’s coiled tight in defence and I can’t fathom his mood. Does he hate me now?