My mother sighs. “Yes, like Samara. Like Raina.”
My head jerks back. “And the Afrit found out? So they took her?” I was right. What happened to Raina isn’t Yasmin’s fault. “She’s … gone? Gone, gone?”
Tears fall down my mother’s cheeks. “See, Azra, talk is one thing, but the consequences are real. Even Sam knows that. We’ve all lost so much. We can’t risk losing what we have left. I know I won’t. I won’t put you at risk.”
And neither will I.
I surround my mother’s cold hand with both of mine. I won’t risk losing her. I won’t risk having Henry’s brain fried. Or worse.
So that’s it. I’ll be granting Nate his wish. I’ll be granting every assigned candidate their wish—and I’ll be granting them perfectly. I’ll follow in my mother’s footsteps and be a model Jinn. I … I won’t form attachments with humans. I won’t form any more attachments with humans. And maybe, probably, I should, I will, I might undo the ones I have. Because the alternative … because there is no alternative.
Exactly as the Afrit planned.
32
I’m in my room trying to reapply my makeup, but my hands are shaking too much. My mother is insisting, despite everything she’s just told me, or maybe because of everything she’s just told me, that I go on my date.
Can I still call it a date if it’s also research for my new assignment? Can a Jinn mix business with pleasure? Not if she can’t draw a straight line under her eyelashes, she can’t.
Setting down the eye pencil, I attempt to apply a thin layer of blush to my pale cheeks. Stress has drained all the blood from my face.
Not that I’m normally a fan of being kept in the dark, but the way my insides are knotted up, I understand my mother keeping the truth about the Afrit a secret. I’m afraid to breathe wearing this bronze bangle, I can’t imagine using magic.
But not only do I have to use magic, I have to use magic to grant Nate a wish. One wrong move in doing so, and that’s it. I’ll lose what, I haven’t realized until now, I love and need most in this world: my mother. What’s worse is if I grant Nate his wish and botch it, I also risk losing what, I haven’t realized until now, I’m beginning to love and need almost as much: Laila and Samara and Hana and all the rest … even Yasmin? Yes, even Yasmin. And maybe even Nate.
And, of course, Henry. Because of what I’ve done, Henry will always be in jeopardy. Henry, who defies categorization. It’s as if we’ve become so intertwined, I cease to exist without him. How can I ever summon enough courage to break my attachment to him?
I’ve spent so much time concentrating on the family I didn’t have because of being Jinn, I never suspected the family I do have could be taken away. My mother, Samara, Laila, Nate, Henry, I can’t put any of them at risk. I have to be the perfect Jinn.
Well, hello pressure, nice to meet you.
I smudge the eyeliner under my lashes, hoping to make my imperfect application look purposeful. This second round of makeup will certainly benefit from the shadowy light of a fire. After sweeping my cosmetics into the drawer, I move to my desk where my cantamen sits, calling to me. As tempted as I am to flip through and find a way out of granting Nate a wish, I know it’s no use.
Funny, despite everything, I still hate being told what to do. Maybe it’s a Jinn trait, like craving sweets and warmth, because certainly control’s the only thing the Afrit seem to care about.
Every mandate put in place by the Afrit serves one goal: to keep them in power. To keep them in power, they must be feared. To be feared, there must be consequences for rebelling against them and their rules. The way they use our love for one another as a weapon to keep us in line and maintain control sickens me. But I’ll admit they’ve got a good thing going. It works.
In response to the gentle knock on my bedroom door, I say, “Entrez.” Henry would be proud of my French pronunciation.
My mother bears the gift of sugar in her hand. “Figured you could use a little pick-me-up.”
I pop one then two nonpareils into my mouth. As she conjures me two more, I think maybe I can go through with this date after all. And I should. Who knows? If I do manage to cut my ties with humans, it might very well be my last one.
“Nervous?” my mother asks.
My quivering voice is at odds with my sarcastic reply. “Not really. What with the fate of everyone I know hanging in the balance, worrying about whether Nate will kiss me is no longer on my radar. Unexpected bonus, right?”
My mother smiles. “I see your flair for the dramatic is intact. But, really, nothing’s changed.”
I cock my head. “Everything’s changed.”
She gently touches my bronze bangle before taking my hand. “I know. Which is why I didn’t want to tell you all this. I wanted to protect you. And maybe let you enjoy it, or try to anyway. But of course, Samara was right. You’re not like the others. Hana, Mina, Farrah, they don’t need to know what the Afrit are capable of. They’ll never question anything. But you, you my dear, control is in your blood.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” I say. “Because now that I know, I can be in control. Total control.” Suddenly I pull her into an embrace. “I promise, I’ll be careful. I won’t … I won’t let them hurt you.”
She tightens her grip, and surely we are both thinking of Yasmin and Lalla Raina.
The sound of a car idling draws me to my window. I’m expecting to see Nate, who, since it’s a date, conceded to use petrol instead of pedal power, but instead I see Henry. He’s closing his front door and walking toward a car I don’t recognize. The back door opens, and Chelsea’s head pops out.
“Don’t worry,” my mother says, “Nate seems like your average boy. What do teenage boys want? Cars? Bigger biceps?”
Henry disappears into the backseat.
“Girls,” I say. “Teenage boys want teenage girls.”
The question is, where does that leave teenage Jinn?