Mulch shrugged. Oh, youre not going to like it. But it is really good.
Chixs green fingers tapped a code into a keyboard on the table. OK, Diggums. We can talk freely.
Mulch leaned forward across the desk. The thing is, Opal Koboi is back.
Chix did not respond verbally, but the colour drained from his face. Instead of its usual robust emerald, the sprites complexion was now pasty lime-green.
Opal has escaped, somehow, and she has set this big revenge thing in motion. First General Scalene, then Commander Root, and now Holly and Artemis Fowl.
O-Opal? stammered Chix, his wounded wing suddenly throbbing.
Shes taking out anyone who had a hand in her imprisonment. Which, if memory serves me correctly, includes you.
I didnt do anything, squeaked Verbil, as though protesting his innocence to Mulch could help him.
Mulch sat back. Hey, theres no point telling me. Im not out to get you. If I remember correctly, you were on all the chat shows, spouting how you personally were the first member of the LEP to come into contact with the goblin smugglers.
Maybe she didnt see that, said Chix hopefully. She was in a coma.
Im sure someone taped it for her.
Verbil thought about it, absently grooming his wings.
So what do you want from me?
I need you to get a message to Foaly. Tell him what I said about Opal. Mulch covered his mouth with a hand to fox any lip-readers who might review the tape. And I want the LEP shuttle. I know where its parked. I just need the starter chip and the ignition code.
What? Ridiculous! Id go to jail.
Mulch shook his head. No, no. Without sound, all Police Plaza are going to see is another ingenious Mulch Diggums escape. I knock you out, steal your chip and tunnel out through the pipe behind that water dispenser.
Chix frowned. Go back to the knock me out part again.
Mulch slammed one palm down on the table. Listen, Verbil, Holly is in mortal danger right now. She may already be dead.
Thats what I heard, interjected Chix.
Well, she will definitely be dead if I dont get down there right now.
Why dont I just call this in?
Mulch sighed dramatically. Because, moron, by the time Police Plaza Retrieval team get here, it will be too late. You know the rules: no LEP officer can act on the information of a convicted felon, unless that information has been verified by another source.
No one pays any attention to that rule, and calling me moron isnt helping.
Mulch rose to his feet. You are a sprite, for heavens sake. You are supposed to have this ancient code of chivalry. A female saved your life, and now hers is in danger. You are honour bound, as a sprite, to do whatever it takes.
Chix held Mulchs gaze. Is all of this true? Tell me, Mulch, because this will have repercussions. This isnt some little jewellery heist?
Its true, said Mulch. You have my word.
Chix almost laughed. Oh, whoopee. Mulch Diggumss word. I can take that to the bank. He took several deep breaths and closed his eyes. The chip is in my pocket. The code is written on the tab. Try not to break anything.
Dont worry, Im an excellent driver.
Chix winced in anticipation. I dont mean the shuttle, stupid. I mean my face. The ladies like me the way I am.
Mulch drew back one gnarled fist.
Well, Id hate to disappoint the ladies, he said and knocked Chix Verbil from his chair.
Mulch expertly rifled Chixs pockets. The sprite was not actually unconscious, but he was pretending. A wise move. In seconds Mulch had removed the starter chip and stuffed it into his beard. A clump of beard hair wrapped itself tightly around the chip, forming a waterproof cocoon. He also relieved Verbil of his Neutrino, though this was not part of the deal. Mulch crossed the room in two strides, jamming a chair under the door handle. That should buy him a couple of seconds. He wrapped one arm around the water dispenser, simultaneously unbuttoning his bum-flap. Speed was vital now because whoever had been watching the interview through the two-way mirror was already hammering on the door. Mulch saw a black dot appear on the door; they were burning their way in.
He ripped the dispenser from the wall, allowing several gallons of cooled water to flood the interview room.
Oh, for heavens sake, moaned Chix from the floor. It takes forever to dry these wings.
Shut up. Youre supposed to be unconscious.