chapter 27
The Hummer was where we’d left it, and according to the clock on the dashboard, only three hours had passed—three hours in the mortal realm, forty-eight hours in the Underworld, and a lifetime for Aiden and me.
I offered to drive back, but Aiden insisted that he was fine and I knew he wanted me to sleep. I knew I should—to avoid Seth using the connection—but it didn’t seem fair. Aiden had to be exhausted.
But it was a battle I wasn’t winning anytime soon, so I snuggled into the passenger seat and tried to get some sleep. The only problem was that my brain would not shut down. Ever since I’d stood in the war room, something had nagged at me. What Persephone had said, the sheared ponytails on the wall—all of it seemed familiar, but I couldn’t place how or why. And it was more than that. Solaris’ parting words were unsettling and they poked around in my head.
What I could never figure out was why Apollo had kept me alive once Seth had gone all crazy-pants on the Council. Or why Artemis had stopped Hades from taking me into the Underworld. The gods—or at least all of them except one—feared the transfer of power, because when that happened there’d be no stopping Seth. Taking me out of the picture before I’d Awakened, or putting me out of commission afterward, made sense.
Keeping me alive didn’t.
But I remembered what Artemis had said in that convenience store as she’d faced down Hades. Prophecies could change, and it didn’t take a leap of logic to know that, if I became the God Killer, the prophecy would change.
Unease blossomed in my chest. Had Apollo and the others known that this was possible? Then I felt dumb for even questioning that. The oracles belonged to Apollo, and even though he didn’t know all of their visions, the portion of what the oracle had told Solaris could’ve been shared with Apollo. Which made sense since Apollo had been oh-so supportive of me going down to see Solaris.
Part of me was naïve enough to hope that wasn’t the case, because that meant Apollo had some explaining to do. The other part was more analytical about it, more reasonable. Apollo had said before that they needed to stop the god who was obviously working with Lucian. And how else would they stop him?
They needed the God Killer.
The real kicker of this whole crappy situation was that Lucian controlled Seth, and this god—whoever it was—controlled Lucian, and therefore he/she controlled Seth and all of those who were following Lucian. So if Seth succeeded and transferred my power to him, this god would then control the God Killer. Risky, because Seth could always turn on him, but in the end, once the god had Seth do what he wanted, I was sure he’d be creative enough to somehow keep him under control. Possibly that meant keeping a member of the Order stowed away, safe and sound.
My muscles tightened in reflex as I worked this out. None of it looked good. And Seth was being manipulated from every which direction and he had no idea. Hell, he refused to even think that was the case.
As the miles between Kansas and Illinois disappeared, I couldn’t shake what Solaris has said about the gods using me, and what it would mean. Neither could I let go of the feeling that, by learning how to transfer the power to me, I had sealed my own fate.
The sudden weight of Aiden’s hand on my knee drew my attention to him. His eyes were on the dark highway. “You’re not sleeping.”
I smiled as I placed my hand over his. “How did you know?”
“I just do.” He sent me a brief grin. “What are you thinking about?”
Everything was on the tip of my tongue—my suspicions, my concerns about what Solaris had said, and what I now knew Apollo was hiding—but when Aiden glanced at me again, I found I couldn’t tell him.
He hadn’t heard what Solaris had said, and I didn’t want to burden him with this on top of everything else. If my suspicions were correct, if everything was leading to one thing…
Taking a deep breath, I focused on the white lines parting the darkness. “I was just thinking about how I’m supposed to get close enough to Seth to transfer his power to me. Seems impossible, right?”
“I don’t like it, Alex. I’m going to be honest; I think it’s insane. To me, it’s like sneaking up on a cobra. It’s not going to work.”
“I know, but what choice do we have? Besides, we don’t just have to figure out how to get close enough to him. There’re all the Sentinels and Guards who are backing him.”
Aiden squeezed my hand. “We’re going to need an army.”
Slowly, I looked at him. “And where are we going to dig up one of them?”
“Good question.” He barked out a short laugh. “What we need to find out is exactly how many Lucian has backing him—”
“I can always ask Dionysus to do some scouting,” Apollo’s voice boomed from the backseat.
Shrieking, I sprang forward, knocking my knees off the dashboard. Aiden’s hand jerked on the steering wheel, swerving the Hummer into the left lane, which was thankfully empty.
Aiden cursed under his breath. “You need a freaking bell.”
I twisted around in the seat, ready to knock the grin off the god’s face. I was already pretty pissed off at him without him giving us a heart attack. “You could’ve caused an accident!”
Apollo leaned forward, resting his arms on the back of our seats. “But you didn’t. Aiden has the reflexes of a hellhound.”
Making a face, I shook my head. “How did you just… pop in here?”
He gave me a very un-god-like duh look. “These wards make your power invisible to the gods; they don’t keep us out. You carry my bloodline. I can find you when I want.”
“Well, that’s not creepy.”
Aiden glanced in the rearview mirror. “You want to know what we found out?” When Apollo nodded, a scowl appeared on Aiden’s face. “And you couldn’t have waited until we got back to Apple River?”
“Let’s see…” Apollo tapped a finger off his chin. “The whole world is on the verge of a god apocalypse. Should I wait another six hours?”
“Six hours isn’t going to change anything,” Aiden replied, eyes turning a steely gray.
“I hope not.” Apollo turned his gaze to me. “What did you learn?”
I debated telling him that I hadn’t learned a damn thing, but that was pointless. “I learned how to transfer the power to me.”
Apollo showed no reaction, and I really think I hated him right then. “And do you think you can do it?”
I glanced at Aiden. “There’s the tiny problem of getting to Seth.”
“Like I said, I can have Dionysus do some scouting. See what they have going for them,” he replied.
“We still don’t have an army.” I flipped in my seat, facing the front and feeling all kinds ofbitchtastic.
“Actually…”
I refused to turn around and take the bait. “What?”
When he didn’t answer, Aiden growled deep in his throat. “What, Apollo?”
“About an hour after you guys left, one of the Sentinels who had been using Solos’ cabin before you not-so-nicely kicked them out showed up. He brought news.”
Aiden had gone completely motionless, and I wondered how he could still manage to drive like that. “And you trust this Sentinel?”
The god laughed darkly. “Let’s just say I made sure he was playing on our team.”
Curious, I started to ask how, but Apollo grinned at me. “Use your imagination,” he said, and my imagination went to some really weird places.
“Anyway,” he continued. “Most of the pures are fleeing the Covenants and their communities, heading to the University in South Dakota. So are their Guards. Makes sense—the location of the University is pretty remote and almost certainly cannot be breached. The Sentinels who haven’t fallen in with Lucian have left their duties and are en route to the University.”
“What about the daimons?” I asked.
“What about them? They will go where the pures are, and the pures will be well-protected. Then there are the daimons that Lucian is feeding the pures to. Nothing we can do about that.” Apollo sat back, eyeing the roof of the Hummer like he’d never seen one before. He tapped the internal light once and it flicked on, then he turned it off. Shiny things must be distracting for gods, too. He did it again, brows furrowed.
“Apollo,” I snapped.
His gaze settled on me. “There is a good chance that Lucian and the First will overtake the New York Council, so Council members and Sentinels are being secreted out of the Covenant.”
My heart tipped over. “My—”
“I don’t know if your father is among the ones who have already arrived at the University or is en route or alive. I’m sorry.”
My shoulders slumped. “So what are they doing? Moving the base of operation to there?”
“Yes. So there will be hundreds, if not thousands, of Sentinels and Guards there. Those who have seen their friends and other Sentinels killed by those who have sided with Lucian. Those who want nothing more than to get a piece of him.”
Aiden nodded slowly. “An army—our army.”
“Marcus and Solos are already making plans to travel to the University. The sooner you all get there, the better.”
I could get behind this plan. And yeah, there was a bit of a selfish reason behind it. Any chance that my father might be there was enough for me.
“It would be safer there for Deacon and the others,” Aiden said. “It would be best.”
Now I felt like a douche for only thinking of what I could gain. “How early can we leave?”
“As soon as possible,” Apollo responded. “Once at the University, we can appeal to those who wish to put an end to this. Then we could move against Lucian—”
“And the god who’s pulling the strings?” I threw in, unable to help myself. “We’ll want to move against him or her, right?”
Apollo’s vibrant blue eyes met mine and he held my gaze. “Yes. We will.”
Right then I wanted to call him out, but the only thing stopping me was Aiden… and that part of me, the tiny part that Laadan had claimed was growing, becoming more mature. She sort of understood.
“But I need to check in with Dionysus.” Apollo was still looking at me, and I knew I’d be seeing him real soon. “Check you guys later.”
And then he was gone.
Aiden slid me a sidelong glance. “Sometimes I really hate him.”
“You and me both,” I muttered.
We arrived back at Apple River just as the sky overhead was turning from black to a dark blue. The cabin was dark as we climbed out of the Hummer and the distant call of birds was the only sound.
Aiden stretched, bowing his back as he worked out the kinks. He stopped, catching me watching him from the other side of the vehicle. “Come here.”
He was probably the only person in the world who could demand that of me and I’d listen. All too obediently, I headed around the front of the Hummer and stopped in front of him. “What?” I asked, stifling a yawn.
Aiden cupped my cheeks and tilted my head back. “You didn’t sleep at all.”
“Neither did you.”
A tired grin appeared. “I was driving.”
I placed my hands on his wrists. Our eyes locked. “I can’t believe we went to the Underworld and came back out.”
“Me, neither.” His thumbs traced along the curve of my cheekbones. “You were perfect.”
“Except for the spiders…”
His head dipped and his nose brushed mine. “I wasn’t talking about the spiders.”
“You weren’t?”
Aiden laughed and his breath was warm and tantalizing. “No. I was thinking about what came after the spiders.”
“Oh… oh!” I sucked in a sharp breath and my legs suddenly felt weak. “That”
“Yes.” His lips brushed mine. “That.”
I started to smile, because that really had been perfect, but then Aiden kissed me and I melted into him. There was strength in that kiss, along with love and a taste of what a future would be like with him. I loved—loved—that in the midst of everything, we could still have moments like this. Where it was just us and there weren’t any walls between us. The kiss deepened, his tongue slipping past my lips, and my fingers dug into his wrists. A low, sultry growl came from Aiden, and I wanted—
“You two should really get a room,” Apollo said from out of nowhere. “My poor eyes…”
I groaned. Even in his true identity, he still had impeccable timing.
“Gods,” Aiden spat. He pulled back, casting Apollo a disgusted look over my head. “Do you get off on sneaking up on us?”
“You probably don’t want to know what I get off on.”
I made a face. “Ew.”
Aiden kissed my forehead as his hands slipped off my cheeks. Dropping an arm around my shoulders, he pulled me into the shelter of his body and I went, resting my cheek against his chest. “Did you already talk to Dionysus?”
Apollo leaned against the bumper. “Yes. He’s on it as we speak.”
“How can we trust that Dionysus isn’t the god behind this?” I smothered another yawn. “And that he won’t lie to us?”
“Dionysus cares little for war, and he doesn’t have the motivation to engineer something like this.”
“How long until he lets us know?” Aiden asked.
“We should hear from him by the end of the day.” Apollo’s gaze flickered to the deep blue sky. “It’s almost morning. You two should rest.”
Aiden glanced down at me. “Let’s head in.”
I pulled away, glancing at Apollo. “I’ll be in in a few seconds. I want to talk to Apollo.”
He hesitated, sending me a questioning look. I hated keeping him in the dark about this, but there was no other way, because if Aiden knew, he would stop it, and then the world would go to crap.
“It’s okay.” I smiled. “I’ll be right in.”
Aiden looked at Apollo and let out a low breath. “Okay. I’ll go… wake up Deacon or something.”
“I’m sure he’ll appreciate that,” I said.
A brief smile appeared. “True.”
At the sound of the front door shutting behind Aiden, I looked at Apollo and felt the mask I’d been wearing slip away.
Our gazes met and Apollo sighed. “Alexandria…”
“I knew there was something you’d been keeping from me. That there was a bigger reason to why you all would want to keep me alive when it would be so much easier to just kill me. It would fix the problem with Seth, so I just didn’t get why you’d risk it.”
He looked at a loss to what to say. Good—I’d struck a god speechless. Score one for me. I was going to go for point two. “You need the God Killer.”
A long moment passed. “We need to stop this from happening again.”
“You need me to kill the god responsible.” Anger grew inside me, but so did hurt, and that hurt had been festering since we’d left the Underworld. I didn’t know why. Apollo might be related to me by blood, but he was a god and they’d missed out on the whole empathy train, sort of like a bunch of sociopaths, but it still hurt something fierce.
It cut deep.
Because in the end, I was the lion and the lamb; I would slaughter and then be slaughtered. Apollo didn’t say it, but I saw it in what he wouldn’t say.
“We cannot risk this kind of destruction again, Alexandria. Thousands of innocent people have died, and there will be more. And even if we stop the First, this will happen again.” He placed his hand on my shoulder and it was heavy. “We cannot kill one another. We need the only thing that can kill us. We need the God Killer—we need you.”
I stared at him, dumbfounded. “You don’t want me to kill Seth, then.”
He snorted. “On most days I do, but you must take his power, and he has to be alive for that. I need you to be able to defeat him and transfer his power to you.”
My hands balled into fists and it took everything in me not to grab hold of those golden locks and rip them out. “You’ve been lying to me this entire time.”
“No I haven’t.” He didn’t even blink.
“Bull! You told me before I Awakened that you wanted me to kill Seth! You know, over grape soda and Spider-man cake?”
“I wanted you to kill Seth, but it’s not what I need.”
My mouth dropped open. “That’s not even semantics!”
“And I didn’t know for sure then that there was a way to transfer his power to you,” he argued calmly. “I had my suspicions. So did my sister, but we couldn’t be sure. Either way, he cannot be allowed to take your power. If you cannot defeat him and take his power, then you must kill him.”
Apollo made it all sound so simple, like he was asking me to go to the store and pick up Crunchy Cheetos and if they didn’t have them in stock, to get Cheetos Puffs. Insane.
“I don’t want it to end like you fear, but there is only so much I can do to stay the hands of others.”
“Yeah, because after I take out this god—if we figure out who it is—there’s a good chance the gods will turn on me, because I will be a threat. And I bet they have an Order member just lying around, right? Even if I don’t do anything, they will act as judge and jury on a crime I haven’t committed?”
There was that damn pause again and then he said, “Everyone dies, but in the end it comes down to what you are willing to die for, Alexandria.”
Gods, there was a part of me—a huge part of me—that wanted to kick Apollo in the balls, but I got it. As messed up as it was, I got it. And maybe that was why I wasn’t flipping out on him. The loss of one life, maybe two, was worth the safety of billions. I could see that and if I was totally impartial about this—say, they weren’t talking about me—then I’d probably even support it.
But it was me.
It would be me.
That was a lot to swallow. It was something that I couldn’t really even begin to process. I felt too selfish, but I also knew what had to be done.
Gods, I was so not old enough or mature enough to be making these kinds of decisions.
It grew so quiet between us that the gentle winds stirring the branches seemed too loud. If I didn’t have my freaky god-sensing abilities right now, I’d have thought he’d left. But he was still there, waiting.
“And there’s no other way?” I asked.
He didn’t respond, and I took his silence as a no.
Heart heavy, I lifted my head. “What will happen if I die?”
Apollo didn’t answer immediately. “You will have a warrior’s death. There is pride in that and you will want for nothing.”
Except to live, but I figured that was a moot point. “Will you make sure that… that Aiden will be okay?”
The god’s eyes met mine and he nodded.
Throat burning and tightening, I focused on the dark gravel. “He… he had to see his parents afterward, Apollo. I don’t want him to see me, okay? Can you make sure he doesn’t?”
“If that is what you wish.”
I pressed my lips together, relieved a little that Aiden would be spared that horror—maybe not the bulk of it, but some of it. “And will you make sure Marcus and the rest of them are okay?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.” I swallowed, but I still felt like I was choking. “I want to be left alone for awhile.”
“Alex—”
I looked then, meeting his gaze. “Please leave.”
He looked like he was going to say something, but then he nodded and simply vanished. I don’t know how long I stood there, but eventually I shuffled over to the porch and sat down on the steps.
The night air was still cool and it stung my hot cheeks. Tears burned my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Crying served nothing. It wouldn’t change what would happen. If I somehow managed to get to Seth, transfer his power to me before he took mine, and destroy the mystery god, I’d still be put down like a rabid animal. Possibly even Seth would be, as well, although he’d no longer be a threat. Maybe without me around to influence him, he’d get better. He’d just be the Apollyon then, like it was supposed to be—only one of us and all that jazz.
I rubbed my eyes until they ached.
What day was it? Sometime in April? Less than a month from now, I was supposed to be graduating from the Covenant. That was so obviously not going to happen. So much had changed, and so much would never be the same. I wondered if my Fate had changed, too, or if this had always been a part of it and no one had thought to clue me in.
An idea occurred to me. It was insane, but I thought about letting the wonky connection with Seth happen. The ache was in my temples. Maybe I could tell him what I knew. Maybe there was a part of him that still cared enough.
I shook my head and lowered my hands.
Seth would probably just use it as another reason for me to jump ship.
Taking several deep breaths, I pushed thoughts of Seth out of my head and, for some reason, I thought about my father. Features roughened by a hard life fell into place. Broad cheekbones and a strong chin spoke of a warrior’s face. We really didn’t look too much alike, but it was his eyes… they were mine.
I tried not to think about my dad. Perhaps that was wrong, but it was hard sitting here knowing that he was in the Catskills. And it was even harder acknowledging that there might be a good chance we’d never meet face-to-face, aware of what we were to each other.
Squeezing my knees together, I thought about the sacrifice he was making—had made—for so many years. Deep down I knew he probably wanted to be here with me, but he had a job to do. Through and through, my father was a Sentinel.
I respected him for that.
I don’t know how long I sat there, but it couldn’t have been that long before the door behind me eased open. Boards creaked as the footsteps drew near.
Aiden sat beside me, still in his Sentinel uniform. He stared straight ahead and said nothing. I looked at him. The dark waves were messy, going in every which direction. A slight shadow was forming on his jaw.
“Didn’t wake up Deacon?” I asked.
“Nah, if I did then I’d probably never get to bed. He’ll need entertainment or something and you know how that goes.” Aiden tilted his head toward me. “When did Apollo leave?”
“A little while ago.”
Aiden was quiet for a moment. “Is there anything I should know?”
My heart skipped a beat. “No.”
His eyes met mine and I couldn’t tell if he believed me, but he extended his arm. I scooted over, fitting myself against the side of his body as he locked his arms around me. He rested his cheek against my hair and I felt his breath.
Minutes passed, and then he said, “We’re in this together, Alex. Don’t ever forget that. We’re in this together to the end.”